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  #1  
Old June 7th, 2011, 10:39 PM
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Red face Friends with Benefits or how to go about being fuck buddies!

And now, our own columnists in our own newspaper tell us how to go about being fuck buddies or 'friends with benefits'.

I am not a prude nor do I ride the high moral horse, but is this what our culture is coming to?

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Casual sex between casual friends
Simi Kuriakose | Jun 8, 2011, 12.00am IST
If you've willingly boycotted the 'Commitments-cum-Expectations' camp long back, 'Friends with Benefits' (FWBs) is probably the thing you're looking for.

For your frame of reference, this fad defines a mutually beneficial relationship between two friends who indulge in casual sex with no bonds or expectations involved. In an age when all that people think of is adding digits to their bank balance, this trend has become quite a rage. Commitment might have taken a backseat but the desire for pleasure never will.

On being asked reasons as to why this trend has come into being, relationship therapist, Rachna Kothari says "Some reasons would be, the mere known fact that two friends are physically attracted to each other and can benefit each other (most often sexually), the want of pleasure or feeling of loneliness in a person or exes wanting to be in a physical relationship with no label attached. For those who believe they live in a culture that pursues individualism as the highest goal, it makes this relationship more pragmatic. Because there is no commitment or responsibility, one is free from feelings of hurt, pain, etc. and this can be a very honest and practical way of going about in relationships."

It is for sure, considering how comfortable one is with the idea, 'Friends with Benefits' is not a bad way to go about relationships. But then again, it is not all that easy. Here are certain dos and don'ts while being a FWBs.

Most times, in such a relationship, it is difficult to maintain proximity after you're done with your physical needs. Don't hook up with someone you are extremely close to or someone you can't do without on a regular basis. People generally say that women tend to fall in love with their partners after getting physical. But studies break that myth. It is normal that the moment you have had sexual intercourse, the body naturally emits hormones which generate feelings of love and affection. Sometimes, one of the partners agrees to being 'friends with benefits' just because they have feelings for the other and think that having casual sex would actually initiate sparks for the onset of a relationship. This can lead to heartbreak or a break in friendship or, in a worse scenario, both.

If, god willing, you fall in love at some point, this past phase can provoke doubt in your current relationship. FWBs can be a human interference when you're in a real relationship. Your current love can actually be insecure (and we see no fault in that) because of this so-called past-bed-buddy. If the FWB is an acquaintance, it's easy to break ties once you both have satisfied your physical needs.

Remember, it's about having an unspoken agreement between you and your friend to have occasional sex, leaving out the emotional baggage. You both should acknowledge this. Make sure the signal 'We're not lovers' is clear. Don't nestle or cuddle everytime you get an opportunity. Even sympathy sex is a no-no. This paves way to wanting more than just sex.

Rachna Kothari says, "Mutually, if two friends agree that there's no expectations, no commitments, then it's not detrimental because their attitudes are set right for this. But for those who believe that lovemaking and not mechanical sex is what's important, it is obviously detrimental as it violates every bit of their expectations."

Make sure the intimacy of this relationship is just between the two of you, without making it a public deal. Don't brag about what a love muffin you are. The friendship could be gone with the wind.

Comfort is the key word while being FWBs. You need not be worried about concealing that birthmark which you've always disliked, or those flabs you couldn't lose in the gym or whether you will perform well in bed. Just enjoy the moments without fretting much.

Most importantly, play safe. Don't just hook up without taking precautions. A bubbly night or a stressful day should be no excuse to not use protection before sex. Make sure you don't end up panic struck because of this risky relationship.

Maintaining friends with sexual benefits can be quite a hassle unless you stick by the ground rules. There is no harm being offbeat in relationships, but not acting in accordance to the rules would just lead to your life going haywire.

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  #2  
Old June 7th, 2011, 11:46 PM
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Re: Friends with Benefits or how to go about being fuck buddies!

TOI is not a cultural policeman....its aim is to just make money and will encourage any ass to write anything as long it produces more money for TOI....
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Old June 8th, 2011, 07:41 AM
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Re: Friends with Benefits or how to go about being fuck buddies!

On another note, did anyone see Justin Timberlake fondling his "Friends with Benefits" co-star, Mila Kunis on stage during the MTV Movie Awards?



Check this out:

NSFW

http://www.usmagazine.com/moviestvmu...-awards-201156

http://www.popeater.com/2011/06/06/j...nis-grope-mtv/
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Old June 8th, 2011, 08:15 AM
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Re: Friends with Benefits or how to go about being fuck buddies!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 28virgo View Post
On another note, did anyone see Justin Timberlake fondling his "Friends with Benefits" co-star, Mila Kunis on stage during the MTV Movie Awards?
NO...you are derailing the thread...

F Buds are not the same as what you refer to

Today the world is a very organised place and societies are highly sophisitcated...do you make your tea in a blender or your coffee in a washing machine??they only do that in phagwaara in punjab with lassi...

do you use your shaving cream to shave your toes??

if the answer to all the above is no...then

there are separate

grope buddies

cyber buddies(also known as weenie whinies)

phone sex buddies

facebook sex buddies

twitter quickie buddies

dark car park stranger buddies

dingy all purpose slum shack buddies

not to forget the ''will cook, clean, iron, wash and then pleasure'' buddies

please do not confuse species...you could cause cross contamination...
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Old June 8th, 2011, 09:19 AM
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Re: Friends with Benefits or how to go about being fuck buddies!

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NO...you are derailing the thread...
What part of "on another note" did you not understand?
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Old June 8th, 2011, 10:08 AM
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Re: Friends with Benefits or how to go about being fuck buddies!

this again shows the category of newspaper called toilet paper of India..... err..... times of india



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