Non-biological parents: please share your stories

[zyzzva]

By "non-biological," I mean adoptive parents and step-parents, and also persons raising, say, nieces & nephews, cousins, grandchildren, etc.. If you feel yourself to be the parent of a person who is not your genetic child, this thread is for you.

How did this relationship come to be? How old was the child when she or he came into your life? How deliberate was your choice? How long did it take you to come to love the child in question? Have you any regrets--any thing you wish you had done different or better?

And, of course, you should feel free to add more questions.

[raniraja]

Originally Posted by zyzzva

By "non-biological," I mean adoptive parents and step-parents, and also persons raising, say, nieces & nephews, cousins, grandchildren, etc.. If you feel yourself to be the parent of a person who is not your genetic child, this thread is for you.
...And, of course, you should feel free to add more questions.

Can we expand the scope of this thread to include known instances of a child spending time with non-biological parents/ household?

My brother, being the first child in the family (on my father's child), stayed with my grandparents till 6 years of age. When he joined us later, for many years he used to say "you do things this way, we do it this way in my delhi home ". The 6 years stay had a lifelong impact on his attachments.

[tantric_yogi]

Originally Posted by zyzzva

By "non-biological,"
And, of course, you should feel free to add more questions.

Excellent topic. It will be nice to hear member's experiences and thoughts?

Not non-biological in context. Not even adoptive parents. What if few good ..... families showered you with parental love, cared for you like they did own children? Life is all about gratitude and paying your debts ... isn't it? How do you pay debt of love and kindness? Sever all ties ... just to avoid embarrassment? Your own biological parents offering love, care, and affection carries no hassle nor burden. But when total strangers offer you the same ... emotions get all confused ... you cannot take them for granted and you cannot return it back ... leaves you feeling very uncomfortable and unworthy. I am so confused that I cant even format this post as I want to.

[raniraja]

Originally Posted by tantric_yogi

Excellent topic. It will be nice to hear member's experiences and thoughts?

Not non-biological in context. Not even adoptive parents. What if few good ..... families showered you with parental love, cared for you like they did own children? Life is all about gratitude and paying your debts ... isn't it? How do you pay debt of love and kindness? Sever all ties ... just to avoid embarrassment? Your own biological parents offering love, care, and affection carries no hassle nor burden. But when total strangers offer you the same ... emotions get all confused ... you cannot take them for granted and you cannot return it back ... leaves you feeling very uncomfortable and unworthy. I am so confused that I cant even format this post as I want to.

Tantubhai, parvarish, the care that parents (biological or otherwise) shower on a child should not be considered as a debt. Many reasons for this, but the relationship is a symbiotic one.