waat do u think of desis shaadiing goris/kaalis/chaptis ??

[khopdi]

..or the other way round ?? kitchen main to badaa problem hoga..desi to bechara desi khaana ke liye ladar-badar hota hoga !!

[Netra]

Khopdiji, I don't see anything wrong with desis shaadiing goris/kaalis/chaptis. Kya woh human beings nahin hain?

As far as khane ka sawal hain, hamare Tantru bhayya excellent example hain. Biwi ko Indian cooking nahi aati to khud bana lete hain.

[risingsun]

sirf human being hone se kaam nahi chalta shaadi karne ke liye. the differnce in upbringing is vast.

I dont think i will be able to adjust to such an extent.

[Netra]

Way to go Tantric bhayya.

[Super Girl]

Good one, Tantu baba.

What can I say except that you are my hero I thank god that my husband shares the same views as you do.

I wish more and more guys would be like this.. Then maybe the stigma sometimes attached to phirangee spouse might decrease...

[risingsun]

I never heard that having a firangi spouse was a stigma!!! It is uncommon agreed, but stigma???

[Super Girl]

Sun,

Have you ever talked to a traditionalist? or someone who does not believe in mixing culture or races? If you have, then you will know what I am talking about.

If you haven't, then please do , you will realise the meaning of my words.

[amal]

mix marriages dont last very long.

[videsee]

Wow!!

What was the sample size for this research?

[GpeL]

6 kingfishers and possibly a couple of packs of chips to go with it. (sorry had to edit it.. and some ketchup for then chips)

[amal]

I know in our friends circle three people got married with goris.

within 10 years they all were divorced. Two of them married again with Indian girls and third guy is still single and he is gone to India.Their marriages always look artificial

[GpeL]

dude most marriages out of india (especially in USA) are just farce.. so lets not base your study on them.. kingfisher was a better choice..

[tantric_yogi]

Originally posted by Super Girl
Good one, Tantu baba. thank god that my husband shares the same views as you do. I wish more and more guys would be like this.. Then maybe the stigma sometimes attached to phirangee spouse might decrease...

Many Indian guys around who do treat our partners equal. Then some "educated" ones for whom a wife is a cook, bartan manjne walli, dhobhi and a servant does bring a smile..may be makes them feel macho..you have a point with stigma..its atural...where ever you go in the world, mix couple do tend to raise eyebrows..married for 13 years we enjoy such extra attention..what makes your hubby so "un-indian" in his treatment of wife?

[Super Girl]

Originally posted by tantric_yogi

Many Indian guys around who do treat our partners equal. Then some "educated" ones for whom a wife is a cook, bartan manjne walli, dhobhi and a servant does bring a smile..may be makes them feel macho..you have a point with stigma..its atural...where ever you go in the world, mix couple do tend to raise eyebrows..married for 13 years we enjoy such extra attention..what makes your hubby so "un-indian" in his treatment of wife?

Tantu baba,

I do not know if my husband is un-Indian in his ways. I am sure there are plenty of Indian guys who do the same things as him. But it does make me love him all the more –

He helps in the kitchen, not with the cooking, but with the cleaning up.

He prefers that I do not cook on weekdays, would rather I spend some time with our son.

Surprises me with cooking sometimes, even though he is not fond of cooking

Takes care of the baby and doesn’t expect that I should be the only one to clean his dirty diapers

Insists that I have one day to myself, and I can do what I want and he gets to keep the baby and enjoy some time with him

After our son was born, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Well, he insisted that I do that for some time and that I should return to work after that. Reason was not money whatsoever. He suffers from a chronic heart problem, so he just wanted me to be ready and out there in the world. He feels that if anything happens to him, I wouldn’t have to go through unnecessary pain. This may sound a little clinical, but we are so used to this factor in our lives, that it doesn’t hurt so much now when we talk about it. Secondly he said that he knew me well enough to know that I would get decidedly restless staying at home. Anyway so I stayed home for 15 months and got back to work. And now when I look back I am glad that he did persuade me to get back to work, because I immensely enjoy it. I feel that the time that I now share with my son is even more quality time than before, as I have to squeeze in as much as I can in that time. I remember getting utterly frustrated at home when I wasn’t working. I am not the stay at home kind, and the time when my son was born, I thinks my emotions got the better of me.

I wasn’t happy working in the field that I used to before (research) and he was one of the most encouraging persons around. Along with my parents he convinced me enough to change my field completely and start new all together. I have never been happier.

His parents do not like the fact that he helps at home. They are the mere laal kind, that he cannot lift his finger in the house at all and that the wife’s job is to stay at home to look after the house and kids…. He doesn’t heed to that and tells me to go ahead with my aspirations and not to worry about such things…

There are a lot more small things that he does (sometimes in the spur of the moment), that I do not recollect, but it is these small things that make me feel that I am lucky. Things that he takes my surprise, when I am not expecting them at all…

[tantric_yogi]

Supergirl..He wants you to be independent, confident and well versed in the ways of the world..to prepare you to face all that comes on your own...just in case, god forbid the day.

Very natural thoughts of a man who loves his family, is not obsessed or jealous.

I can do everything to help except could change the diapers or clean up mess in kitchen I make. We do have a lady who comes in one hour daily to clean/vaccum and leave home tidy.

Yep, I agree, it is mentally stimulating and challenging for a woman to be out there working, to avoid total dependence on man for all her upkeep. . Of course children take priority over everything else.