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  #1  
Old July 7th, 2004, 06:44 PM
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Jokes

Please accept my apologies if there is already a thread abt Jokes and PJs ...
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  #2  
Old July 7th, 2004, 06:45 PM
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Musharaf Kidnapped

A man is caught in a traffic jam, when suddenly someone taps on the
window of his car. He lowers the window and asks what the guy wants.
The guy says, "President Musharraf is kidnapped and the ransom is 50
million dollars. If the ransom is not paid, the kidnappers have
threatened to douse the President with gasoline and set him on fire.
We are taking up a collection, do you wish to contribute ?

The man in the car asks, "On an average what are people donating ?"

The other man replies, "About 5 to 10 litres....!!"
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  #3  
Old July 7th, 2004, 07:44 PM
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Talking

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  #4  
Old July 8th, 2004, 09:28 AM
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sardar pahaad pe buks lekar kyon chada??

usse higher learning karani thi

abhi sms mein fwd aaya
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  #5  
Old July 8th, 2004, 11:18 AM
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Honest Wife

A man who was driving a car with his wife was stopped by a police officer.
The following exchange took place.

The man says, "What's the problem, officer?"

Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 65."

Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gave his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight. "

Man: "Broken taillight? I didn't know about a broken taillight!"

Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that taillight for weeks." (The man gave his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."

Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."

The man turned to his wife and yelled, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

The officer turned to the woman and asked, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to
you this way all the time?"

The wife said, "No, only when he's drunk."
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  #6  
Old July 14th, 2004, 11:07 PM
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Talking Some Shayaris and PJs

Tere husn ki kya taareef karoo? Tera bander jaisa mu,
Teri zulfo ki kya tareef karoo? Tere ek ek baal pe ju.

kaash in hasinaaon kay baap mar jayen'
bahaana gam kaa hota, hum inke ghar to aate
aai murkh tere liye yeh bolna bhi paap hoga
...kisi din tu bhi kisi haseena kaa baap hoga !

aansoo se palke bhigo leta hoon
yaad teri aati hai to ro leta hoon
socha ki bhula doon tujhe magar
har baar faisla badal deta hoon!!

jaan tha tumhara ek din, aaj kya hu mai
kho gaya is duniya mein, aaj kaha hu mai

jaha tum ho, waha dhoondu mai apne aap ko
ho kaha tum, dhoondu mai apne khawab ko
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  #7  
Old July 14th, 2004, 11:11 PM
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Wo aye Hamari Kabr pe,
Chale Gaye Moot ke,

Chalo isi bahane hue darshan unki Ch**t ke !!
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  #8  
Old July 14th, 2004, 11:27 PM
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Log kehte hain ki hamein aadat hai muskurane ki,
Woh kya jane, Ye bhi ek ada hai gham chupane ki

hum yaar hai yaaron ke...dushman hai dushmano ke !!
rehte hai zameen par hum lekin, hai khwaab chand taaro ke !!
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  #9  
Old July 15th, 2004, 10:21 PM
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Weapons of Math Instruction

Weapons of Math Instruction:
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual
later discovered to be a New York City public school
teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a
slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press
conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra
movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome sleeper network," Ashcroft
said. "They desire average solutions by means and
extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search
for absolute value. They use secret code names like
'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but
we have determined that they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of medieval (geometry) with
coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer
Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every
triangle'."
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  #10  
Old July 16th, 2004, 02:27 AM
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seen this in BR forum:
really good one:

THINGS TO EXPECT IN THE PAKISTAN TOURISM WEB SITE
------------------------------------------------

Devil's Own country!!

Your gateway to Ancient Barbaric culture.

Book with us and get tickets to public stonings absolutely free.

Tourist Souvenirs - Pick from a choice of guns,bombs and missiles.
* North Korean Tourists are entitled to free weapons grade plutonium gift hampers

Summer Special 2004 - Free with One week bookings- Adventure weekend in Kashmir
includes
- live target practice on unarmed civilians
- Lashkar-toiba Hijack Tutorial
- Essentials of Bomb-n-run
* Participants must hand over their last wishes (before commmenencement of tour) in the likely event of an encounter with Indian Securtiy forces.

Spot the Thief, Rape his sister contest
All tourists are encouraged to particapate in this 24x7x365 day contest.

Visa regulations:

Citizens of the following countries need not appear for visa.

- Afghanistan
- Saudi Arabia
- Syria
- North Korea
- China

Other countries :
Citizens of all other countries:

- Must produce proof of having committed one heinous crime in a secular state
- Must be proficient in the use of atlest one deadly , life threatening weapon
- Must owe allegience to Osama-Bin-Laden

How to get there:

PIA - Flies from most terrorist hot spots.
Click here for PIA website (www.airlines-in-debt.com)

From India: Smuggle yourself into Kashmir and you will definately run into one of our representatives there.
From Soudi Arabia: contact any of the offices of Al-Qaeda.
From Iran : We do not entertain people who come from the Shia-infested infidel country.

Enjoy Your Stay!!
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  #11  
Old July 16th, 2004, 04:36 AM
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Talking Pakistan Techno Terrorist Tourism (TTT)

HA HA!! Nice one! Perfectly crafted joke for Indians but this could be taken seriously by the Paki tourism authoritues and maybe we could even find it in their tourism brochers!

Quote:
THINGS TO EXPECT IN THE PAKISTAN TOURISM WEB SITE
------------------------------------------------

Devil's Own country!!

Your gateway to Ancient Barbaric culture.

Book with us and get tickets to public stonings absolutely free.

Tourist Souvenirs - Pick from a choice of guns,bombs and missiles.
* North Korean Tourists are entitled to free weapons grade plutonium gift hampers

Summer Special 2004 - Free with One week bookings- Adventure weekend in Kashmir
includes
- live target practice on unarmed civilians
- Lashkar-toiba Hijack Tutorial
- Essentials of Bomb-n-run
* Participants must hand over their last wishes (before commmenencement of tour) in the likely event of an encounter with Indian Securtiy forces.

Spot the Thief, Rape his sister contest
All tourists are encouraged to particapate in this 24x7x365 day contest.

Visa regulations:

Citizens of the following countries need not appear for visa.

- Afghanistan
- Saudi Arabia
- Syria
- North Korea
- China

Other countries :
Citizens of all other countries:

- Must produce proof of having committed one heinous crime in a secular state
- Must be proficient in the use of atlest one deadly , life threatening weapon
- Must owe allegience to Osama-Bin-Laden

How to get there:

PIA - Flies from most terrorist hot spots.
Click here for PIA website (www.airlines-in-debt.com)

From India: Smuggle yourself into Kashmir and you will definately run into one of our representatives there.
From Soudi Arabia: contact any of the offices of Al-Qaeda.
From Iran : We do not entertain people who come from the Shia-infested infidel country.

Enjoy Your Stay!!



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Last edited by viking; July 16th, 2004 at 04:40 AM.
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  #12  
Old July 16th, 2004, 08:35 AM
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Talking Santa, Banta and Atla Bihari Vajpayee

Santa: Why Atal Bihari Vajpayee is not seen in the morning?

Banta: Arre pagley he is PM, not AM.
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  #13  
Old July 16th, 2004, 02:07 PM
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Talking Weight loss program

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 pounds due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.

"Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10-pound weight loss program.

"The next day there's a knock at his door, and when h e answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old young lady dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens.

On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 pounds. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20-pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me."
He's out the door or after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 pounds as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50-pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years.

"The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,

"If I catch you, you're mine."
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  #14  
Old July 17th, 2004, 04:05 PM
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Talking Smoking is not really as bad as we think

A man sees another leaning against the wall of a large building.

The second man is puffing away, one cigarette after another.

The nonsmoker says, "Sir, I couldn't help noticing how you chain-smoke. How many packs do you smoke a day?"

"Four."

"How long have you been smoking?"

"Thirty years."

"That's over forty thousand packs. Why, if you didn't smoke, you could have saved enough money to buy this building."

The smoker takes a deep puff and says, "Do you smoke?"

"Never."

"Do you own this building?"

"No."

"Well, I do."
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  #15  
Old July 20th, 2004, 12:12 PM
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PJs

On The First Day Of Marriage, The Husband Is Treated Like

"God"...

After that the Alphabets are reversed.

++++++

Sardarji Could Not Understand Why His Sister Had Two Brothers

and he Had only one...


Bolo Tarara..

+-+-+-+


An Old Couple Is On A Walk, When A Pigeon Flies By And Deposits

a little Poop On The Woman's Head.

"Yech!" Says The Woman. "Get Some Toilet Paper."

"What For? He (Pigeon) Must Be Half-A-Mile Away By Now.".


+-+-+-+


Santa Singh : Sorry I Am Late, I Got Stuck In An Elevator For 4

Hrs, because Of A Power Failure.


Banta Singh : That's All Right, Me Too. I Got Stuck On The

Escalator For 3 Hrs.


+-+-+-+


A Sardar is Standing Below The Tube Light With An Open Mouth..


WHY ?


GUESS..

Because Doctor Has Advised Him "Aaj Light Hi Khana "


Bolo Tarara.
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