eCharcha.Com   Support eCharcha.Com. Click on sponsor ad to shop online!

Advertise Here

Go Back   eCharcha.Com > Culture > Cultural Exchange

Notices

Cultural Exchange Cultural topics - Indian and other

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old August 22nd, 2013, 08:16 AM
sarv_shaktimaan's Avatar
sarv_shaktimaan sarv_shaktimaan is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: satva aasmaan
Posts: 14,849
sarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond repute
In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

This article really shows India in bad light, but then its pretty true. Foreigners, or for that matter any fair skinned girl is risking rape or sexul assualt, roaming around in India. Of course, I know Americans think the world is free and just like America where you can camp in the jungle alone and ride a bicycle at 2am in the night.

India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear

Quote:
When people ask me about my experience studying abroad in India, I always face the same dilemma. How does one convey the contradiction that over the past few months has torn my life apart, and convey it in a single succinct sentence?
“India was wonderful," I go with, "but extremely dangerous for women.” Part of me dreads the follow-up questions, and part of me hopes for more. I'm torn between believing in the efficacy of truth, and being wary of how much truth people want.

Because, how do I describe my three months in the University of Chicago Indian civilizations program when it was half dream, half nightmare? Which half do I give

Do I tell them about our first night in the city of Pune, when we danced in the Ganesha festival, and leave it at that? Or do I go on and tell them how the festival actually stopped when the American women started dancing, so that we looked around to see a circle of men filming our every move?

Do I tell them about bargaining at the bazaar for beautiful saris costing a few dollars a piece, and not mention the men who stood watching us, who would push by us, clawing at our breasts and groins?

When people compliment me on my Indian sandals, do I talk about the man who stalked me for forty-five minutes after I purchased them, until I yelled in his face in a busy crowd?

Do I describe the lovely hotel in Goa when my strongest memory of it was lying hunched in a fetal position, holding a pair of scissors with the door bolted shut, while the staff member of the hotel who had tried to rape my roommate called me over and over, and breathing into the phone?

How, I ask, was I supposed to tell these stories at a Christmas party? But how could I talk about anything else when the image of the smiling man who masturbated at me on a bus was more real to me than my friends, my family, or our Christmas tree? All those nice people were asking the questions that demanded answers for which they just weren't prepared.

When I went to India, nearly a year ago, I thought I was prepared. I had been to India before; I was a South Asian Studies major; I spoke some Hindi. I knew that as a white woman I would be seen as a promiscuous being and a sexual prize. I was prepared to follow the University of Chicago’s advice to women, to dress conservatively, to not smile in the streets. And I was prepared for the curiosity my red hair, fair skin and blue eyes would arouse.

But I wasn't prepared.

There was no way to prepare for the eyes, the eyes that every day stared with such entitlement at my body, with no change of expression whether I met their gaze or not. Walking to the fruit seller's or the tailer's I got stares so sharp that they sliced away bits of me piece by piece. I was prepared for my actions to be taken as sex signals; I was not prepared to understand that there were no sex signals, only women's bodies to be taken, or hidden away.

I covered up, but I did not hide. And so I was taken, by eye after eye, picture after picture. Who knows how many photos there are of me in India, or on the internet: photos of me walking, cursing, flipping people off. Who knows how many strangers have used my image as pornography, and those of my friends. I deleted my fair share, but it was a drop in the ocean-- I had no chance of taking back everything they took

For three months I lived this way, in a traveler's heaven and a woman's hell. I was stalked, groped, masturbated at; and yet I had adventures beyond my imagination. I hoped that my nightmare would end at the tarmac, but that was just the beginning. Back home Christmas red seemed faded after vermillion, and food tasted spiceless and bland. Friends, and family, and classes, and therapy, and everything at all was so much less real than the pain, the rage that was coursing through my blood, screaming so loud it deafened me to all other sounds. And after months of elation at living in freedom, months of running from the memories breathing down my neck, I woke up on April Fool's Day and found I wanted to be dead.

The student counselors diagnosed me with a personality disorder and prescribed me pills I wouldn't take. After a public breakdown I ended up in a psych ward for two days held against my will, and was released on the condition that I took a "mental leave of absence" from school and went to live with my mother. I thought I had lost my mind; I didn't connect any of it to India-- I had moved on. But then a therapist diagnosed me with PTSD and I realized I hadn't moved a single inch. I had frozen in time. And I’d fallen. And I’d shattered.

But I wasn't the only one, the only woman from my trip to be diagnosed with PTSD, to be forced into a psych ward, to wake up wanting to be dead. And I am not the only woman who is on a mental leave of absence from the University of Chicago for reasons of sexual assault and is unable to take classes.

Understanding my pain has helped me own it, if not relieve it. PTSD strikes me as a euphemism, because a syndrome implies a cure. What, may I ask, is the cure for seeing reality, of feeling for three months what its like for one's humanity to be taken away? But I thank God for my experiences in India, and for my disillusionment. Truth is a gift, a burden, and a responsibility. And I mean to share it.

This is the story you don't want to hear when you ask me about India. But this is the story you need.
LINK
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old August 22nd, 2013, 08:32 AM
Rakhi's Avatar
Rakhi Rakhi is offline
Senior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 9,702
Rakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Sarvi, India is not safe for women. period.
white/dark/beige doesnt matter.
__________________
Alas, I am a woman friendless, hopeless!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old August 22nd, 2013, 09:14 AM
Rakhi's Avatar
Rakhi Rakhi is offline
Senior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 9,702
Rakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Another student wrote a completely different perceptive of the same trip.
Link: http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1023426
__________________
Alas, I am a woman friendless, hopeless!

Last edited by Rakhi; August 22nd, 2013 at 09:23 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old August 22nd, 2013, 09:36 AM
sarv_shaktimaan's Avatar
sarv_shaktimaan sarv_shaktimaan is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: satva aasmaan
Posts: 14,849
sarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
Another student wrote a completely different perceptive of the same trip.
Link: http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1023426
thanks..
ah see.. India's paid media shows me only the negative one.. does not talk about this one.. Nevertheless, our system needs to do more to punish, shame and give counselling to eveteasers and lewd people.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old August 22nd, 2013, 09:41 AM
Premi's Avatar
Premi Premi is offline
Senior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 11,761
Premi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond reputePremi has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
Sarvi, India is not safe for women. period.
white/dark/beige doesnt matter.
hayn:.....???
how many of 1000 ladies you know are being raped?

none.

groping and stalking .... I guess you never been to Time Square on the new year's eve.

Its Same in every part of the world.

Totally depends on media, what to show and how....
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old August 22nd, 2013, 10:00 AM
Rakhi's Avatar
Rakhi Rakhi is offline
Senior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 9,702
Rakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Premi View Post
groping and stalking .... I guess you never been to Time Square on the new year's eve.

Its Same in every part of the world.
Oh I am sorry, I didnt realize women are not safe with Indian me even in Times Square ...

In all seriousness, just because women are not safe in West doesnt make it alright for people to misbehave in india.
__________________
Alas, I am a woman friendless, hopeless!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old August 22nd, 2013, 10:02 AM
jeetiaf's Avatar
jeetiaf jeetiaf is offline
Always on target
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Bidar, India
Posts: 3,823
jeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond reputejeetiaf has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Majority of women who get raped in Rural areas are generally Dalit, and Dalits are not fair skinned

jeetIAF
__________________
One isn't born one's self. One is born with mass of expectation, a mass of other people's ideas- and you have to work it all.- Sir VS Naipaul
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old August 24th, 2013, 09:37 PM
milanfanabhi's Avatar
milanfanabhi milanfanabhi is offline
Senior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: west coast of india
Posts: 4,822
milanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond reputemilanfanabhi has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Most of Indians think White girls are easy.If you go to Goa you see lot of college guys from North India coming to Goa to drink and get lucky with a white skinned girl.They hit hard on these girls and cause lot of altercations.The guys are studying enginnering,MBA or medical and yet they have this kind of notion.
__________________
cheteshwar pujara-ગુજરાતી માણસના પોતાના rahul dravid
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old August 25th, 2013, 02:11 PM
JaiSpeaks's Avatar
JaiSpeaks JaiSpeaks is offline
The NEo of Echarcha
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 6,827
JaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
Another student wrote a completely different perceptive of the same trip.
Link: http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1023426
I don't understand.

are you saying her perspective is wrong and that she is just lucky? or ignorant ?
__________________
If you win you need not explain.. But if you lose you should not be there to explain
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old August 25th, 2013, 02:12 PM
JaiSpeaks's Avatar
JaiSpeaks JaiSpeaks is offline
The NEo of Echarcha
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 6,827
JaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond reputeJaiSpeaks has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Quote:
Originally Posted by milanfanabhi View Post
Most of Indians think White girls are easy.If you go to Goa you see lot of college guys from North India coming to Goa to drink and get lucky with a white skinned girl.They hit hard on these girls and cause lot of altercations.The guys are studying enginnering,MBA or medical and yet they have this kind of notion.
and most of this notion comes from Western influences in the media. The media potrays them as such . How many times do we see white girls in bikini vs someone who is intelligent ?
__________________
If you win you need not explain.. But if you lose you should not be there to explain
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old August 25th, 2013, 10:01 PM
sarv_shaktimaan's Avatar
sarv_shaktimaan sarv_shaktimaan is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: satva aasmaan
Posts: 14,849
sarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond reputesarv_shaktimaan has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaiSpeaks View Post
and most of this notion comes from Western influences in the media. The media potrays them as such . How many times do we see white girls in bikini vs someone who is intelligent ?
me and a friend were hosting new students from India for a few days until they found a place to stay.. one desi who had just gotten to US asked us how come he saw no women in bikini or deep cut tops in the 2 days he'd been in the US.. I was like go to the beach and you'll see plenty of girls in bikinis but dont think I've seen one in Walmart or walking on the road..
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old August 26th, 2013, 09:09 AM
Rakhi's Avatar
Rakhi Rakhi is offline
Senior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 9,702
Rakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond reputeRakhi has a reputation beyond repute
Re: In India fair complexion of a girl means "ready for sex or rape"

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaiSpeaks View Post
I don't understand.

are you saying her perspective is wrong and that she is just lucky? or ignorant ?
which one are you talking about? The first one or the second one? To me, neither of them are wrong.
__________________
Alas, I am a woman friendless, hopeless!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
india, lewd, ptsd, rape, sexual assault


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The "Panchayat" Solution to the Rape Problem raniraja Indian Politics 8 April 26th, 2013 04:18 PM
"we will rape hindu women tonight" by islamists in west bengal Pratiksha Religion 21 September 17th, 2010 05:50 AM
"Out sick", "WFH", "Leaving Early"...howz it in your company? shahenshah Life Abroad 7 December 8th, 2006 12:43 AM
"India ready to export BrahMos" rameshp Taaza Khabar - Current news 7 October 28th, 2005 09:15 PM
Review/Update of the recently held "India is Hiring" Job Fair echarcha Life Abroad 0 July 24th, 2003 08:36 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:19 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Site Copyright © eCharcha.Com 2000-2012.