office funnies

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Conversation at workplace:

Me: Is that tool working? I can't get it to work.
He: Don't use IE there is an issue.
Me: Are you sure IE doesn't stand for Issue?

[Charchila]

Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan

Conversation at workplace:

Me: Is that tool working? I can't get it to work.
He: Don't use IE there is an issue.
Me: Are you sure IE doesn't stand for Issue?

Looks like IE is a global issue

[sgars]

One philisophica account from Ex CEO of Ex company -

Client to CEO - "You Created this system, why doesnt it listen to you"
CEO - "God created you. do you listen to God?"

[sgars]

This term was used recently in some other thread.

Lady colleague long back complaining to another colleague (male)
"My onsite trip is off. mera KLPD ho gaya"

The other guy to me later on. "How would i tell her that this term doesnt really apply to her "

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Originally Posted by sgars

Another pure vegetarian apparently thought that Pepperoni means 'Pepper and Onion' and hence is veggie and kept on eating them for quite some time till some one told him the real components!

I've been using this off late.. and some gullible desis are falling for it.

This desi intern said cafeteria has very few choices for vegetarians.. cheeze pizza slice is all he can eat other than salads. I told him why don't you try pepperoni, he goes no man I think that's meat. I told him no dude it's pepper and onion. He said he'll try it next time.

[Charchila]

Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan

I've been using this off late.. and some gullible desis are falling for it.

This desi intern said cafeteria has very few choices for vegetarians.. cheeze pizza slice is all he can eat other than salads. I told him why don't you try pepperoni, he goes no man I think that's meat. I told him no dude it's pepper and onion. He said he'll try it next time.

That's not cool!

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Originally Posted by Charchila

That's not cool!

I don't wanna post long convos.. we did tell him pepperoni is meat later on.

[sgars]

^^
He also Better know that CheeseBburger has beef.

WHen i picked it up at burger king, the cover said '100% pure beef'. i thought it ws some desi style reused package. only after i ate a bit of it, i realized it was beef and trashed whatever was remaining of the patty. I still finished the buns though. Circa 2008 Oct/Nov

[sgars]

Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan

I've been using this off late.. and some gullible desis are falling for it.

This desi intern said cafeteria has very few choices for vegetarians.. cheeze pizza slice is all he can eat other than salads. I told him why don't you try pepperoni, he goes no man I think that's meat. I told him no dude it's pepper and onion. He said he'll try it next time.

I managed to find some veggie stuff when i went with one firang and one korean colleague to a brazilian steak house in Kallu pai's gaon. Few choices is better than nmo choices like in Burger King.

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Today at lunch.. me and a few desi colleagues talking about imminent changes to immigration under Trump.

Me: Don't know the future state of things, God knows when will we get Green Card, especially with current administration thinking of reducing the annual quota to half of now.. from 1 Mil to half Mil.

Tamil colleague: I have often wondered if Andhra were to split away from India, we would all get Green card today itself. Telangana CM's daughter says she want to split Telangana and join Pakistan, I say take full Andhra along.. give us our green card sooner.

[sgars]

Originally Posted by sgars

Another dump from memory.

next day after an office party, conversation with this Client Director (CD)
CD - Do you like beer
Me - Yes.
CD - How do you like American Beer
Me - I do like Budweiser.
Now, this guy was highly offended to hear that my top of the mind recall of american beer was Budweiser. He gave me a sampling of some other brands including one 'Arrogant Bastard Ale' and stone IPA.

Got reminded this on seeing 'French Tunisian' in the Belgium terror attack.

This director was of French origin born in Tunisia. During one chat on Slumdog millionaire in 2008, he was saying that he grew up in a slum.

[Bhidubhai]

This did not happen in a regular office but at a chai tapari.

The tapari guy had hung a calendar. As you know calendars usually mark festivals, bank holidays, Sundays etc. in red. It was the month of August. Most people, specially village folks, remember Independence day as 15th Aug, Republic day as 26th Jan, Gandhi Jayanthi as 2nd Oct. Couple of village folks looked up the calendar and declared aloud that 15th August is not happening that year. Reason - there was not a single date in red outside the regular Sundays.

15th Aug was on a Sunday that year

[Aashika]

Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan

I've been using this off late.. and some gullible desis are falling for it.

This desi intern said cafeteria has very few choices for vegetarians.. cheeze pizza slice is all he can eat other than salads. I told him why don't you try pepperoni, he goes no man I think that's meat. I told him no dude it's pepper and onion. He said he'll try it next time.

you are bad
lol

[Charchila]

I was getting some Chinese translation help from a coworker to make some regional updates.

Needed to change some time references from "a.m." to "p.m."

She:
 下午 = pm
She:
 上午 = am

Me: 
 with that, i prove that...
 下 = p
 上 = a
 午 = m

She:
 上 = up
 下 = down

Me:
 Got it! It makes sense.

She: 
 ha ha

Me:
 ha ha

上 = up
下 = down

[sgars]

Originally Posted by Charchila

I was getting some Chinese translation help from a coworker to make some regional updates.

Needed to change some time references from "a.m." to "p.m."

She:
 下午 = pm
She:
 上午 = am

Me: 
 with that, i prove that...
 下 = p
 上 = a
 午 = m

She:
 上 = up
 下 = down

Me:
 Got it! It makes sense.

She: 
 ha ha

Me:
 ha ha

上 = up
下 down

Weren't you tempted to say. Won't work in India- AM or PM, it is always 上