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  #16  
Old July 16th, 2018, 05:37 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by Gr8_Hindustani View Post
Bus gadha dharee Bhim bus.
Main shaant hoon, re .Khamakhaan I don't bhadak . I only dhadak :dhakdhak:
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  #17  
Old July 17th, 2018, 12:14 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by MsShaanze View Post
Main shaant hoon, re .Khamakhaan I don't bhadak . I only dhadak :dhakdhak:
I dont know how swami handled anyone. I am not the one to fuck with.

First and Last warning - DO NOT meddle with me.
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  #18  
Old July 17th, 2018, 05:56 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
I am not a teenager or someone who needs to have friends all the time. I have some very good friends who became my friends long long ago. I am happy with them and don't need anyone new.

Also, only desis have this habit of getting into each others' lives. Fuck it, I come for work, I have my friends, I have my echarcha group, I have my whatsapp groups. That's all I need.

And definitely I cannot and will not share anything personal beyond 'Hi how are you?' with anyone at work. Keeps things professional, keeps things untangled and ensures very low chances of office politics.
dont think we are dis-agreeing.... mostly.

I am wholly bought into the idea of keeping professional relationships separate.

however I am not completely closed to the idea of making new friends. Msy not become chaddi yarrs, but can atleast share a drink with.
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  #19  
Old July 17th, 2018, 06:27 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
I dont know how swami handled anyone. I am not the one to fuck with.

First and Last warning - DO NOT meddle with me.
Same to you!
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  #20  
Old July 17th, 2018, 09:20 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
I dont know how swami handled anyone. I am not the one to fuck with.

First and Last warning - DO NOT meddle with me.
Bro, I think this seems to be a misunderstanding. I believe her intention was to bring in some wittiness to the conversation. You seem to have taken it up a notch by being acerbic.. Thoda sa chill karo yaar. Probably something she said must have ruffled your feathers but all in all, and what I have read from her other posts, she seems to be a great id to hang out with virtually. ladai ladai maaf karo bhai!
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  #21  
Old July 17th, 2018, 10:28 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by 28virgo View Post
Bro, I think this seems to be a misunderstanding. I believe her intention was to bring in some wittiness to the conversation. You seem to have taken it up a notch by being acerbic.. Thoda sa chill karo yaar. Probably something she said must have ruffled your feathers but all in all, and what I have read from her other posts, she seems to be a great id to hang out with virtually. ladai ladai maaf karo bhai!
Men will be men .........
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  #22  
Old July 17th, 2018, 10:54 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

I have come across many desis who try to get way too personal within the first few days that you meet them at your work place.

For example, I met a desi at my latest client's place. This desi guy started with general questions like which place are you from in India, etc.. Fine, that's okay. He was just trying to become familiar.

But within the next 2 days he started asking me way too many questions. Well, he thought I am a fresh H1B desi or someone from the village he came from because after my reply, he was shaken. I told him blunty - "Hey, I do not discuss things like masturbation, sex, and my personal information with anyone unless they have good tits! And I dont think you have any tits!"

Oh man.. the look on his face!!! I actually felt a bit pity ...
I have been consulting since last 10 years so I never become part of family but I am pretty open to talk about me to either desi or videsee . Since I am working with all American clients , I use english name for myself. Like Rakesh changed to Rick or Manoj Changed to Manny . No legally I have not change my name and no I have not forgotten my country but I am there to make money and not teach them my culture . So If Rick can get projects at a better billing rate then I am Rick . I dont need to tell you I am Rakesh and how I need to spell it.
Now most of the desis are very curious about my real name and they go round about way trying to find that out . If only you woul have asked , I would have told you asshole coz I have nothing to hide . I just say my legal name is Rakesh but I go by Rick. But being desi they have to spin some.

So one desi from Wipro who's team I was managing for the client met me at a local temple and he was surprised to see me.
So he said Hi Rick , I though you were American and I said , yes I am. It took him some time to process the information .
Then we started talking and he was still too much into Indian politics and all India and how great is India so I told him dude I appreciate what's happening in India but I don't have any interest coz I am never going back and I don't even have a house to stay there. I am here , my family is here and my house is here.
So he started going into how people forget their country and change names to mingle with Americans . Eventually I got pissed and said listen dude you are on H1 and if someone says I will give you green card if you cut off your dick and become homophobic Christian , you would do it in blink of eye.
I have not changed my name but I would like to use easy sounding name for business and that's decision based not only on my earning capacity but because you chootiya gultis have spoiled Indian names . So stop fucking with me and get the fuck out of my face........ Also, next time when you come to my meeting make sure you have your status reported right . I will like to see details of your 60% progress.
How that a bit of American for you ?


The expression on his face was priceless. I don't mind sharing whatever the information you want but stop judging me ass hole
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  #23  
Old July 17th, 2018, 11:41 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by 28virgo View Post
what I have read from her other posts, she seems to be a great id to hang out with virtually!
Aho! Mere baare mein itne achche aur nek vichar- thank you soo much, I mean it you made my dayyyy kya chahiye, bolo .. Virtual hi sahi, but I can try

P.S. Thank You!! You're the best!!!!!!!! and I really appreciate this :hugs:
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Last edited by MsShaanze; July 17th, 2018 at 11:54 AM.
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  #24  
Old July 17th, 2018, 04:17 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by kkkk View Post
dont think we are dis-agreeing.... mostly.

I am wholly bought into the idea of keeping professional relationships separate.

however I am not completely closed to the idea of making new friends. Msy not become chaddi yarrs, but can atleast share a drink with.
Call me anti-social if you will, but outside of my real friend circle and some of you echarcha members, the rest are all 'acquaintances' who I meet at work or in the neighborhood.

I do not have enough time to spend making 'new' relationships unless they are related to my consulting and are going to benefit. Because that is what everyone does. Being close and trying to be a good friend etc does not work, at least not in the Bay Area.
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  #25  
Old July 17th, 2018, 04:21 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dirty View Post
I have been consulting since last 10 years so I never become part of family but I am pretty open to talk about me to either desi or videsee . Since I am working with all American clients , I use english name for myself. Like Rakesh changed to Rick or Manoj Changed to Manny . No legally I have not change my name and no I have not forgotten my country but I am there to make money and not teach them my culture . So If Rick can get projects at a better billing rate then I am Rick . I dont need to tell you I am Rakesh and how I need to spell it.
Now most of the desis are very curious about my real name and they go round about way trying to find that out . If only you woul have asked , I would have told you asshole coz I have nothing to hide . I just say my legal name is Rakesh but I go by Rick. But being desi they have to spin some.

So one desi from Wipro who's team I was managing for the client met me at a local temple and he was surprised to see me.
So he said Hi Rick , I though you were American and I said , yes I am. It took him some time to process the information .
Then we started talking and he was still too much into Indian politics and all India and how great is India so I told him dude I appreciate what's happening in India but I don't have any interest coz I am never going back and I don't even have a house to stay there. I am here , my family is here and my house is here.
So he started going into how people forget their country and change names to mingle with Americans . Eventually I got pissed and said listen dude you are on H1 and if someone says I will give you green card if you cut off your dick and become homophobic Christian , you would do it in blink of eye.
I have not changed my name but I would like to use easy sounding name for business and that's decision based not only on my earning capacity but because you chootiya gultis have spoiled Indian names . So stop fucking with me and get the fuck out of my face........ Also, next time when you come to my meeting make sure you have your status reported right . I will like to see details of your 60% progress.
How that a bit of American for you ?


The expression on his face was priceless. I don't mind sharing whatever the information you want but stop judging me ass hole
You are a real Dirty Harry ....

I completely get what you are saying ....

Yes, lots of folks in my groups on WhatsApp are into "India this India that..." Yes yes, I get it. I have investments back in India. I might even end up retiring in India. I dont know at this time.. But that's that.

Also, this insatiable desire to know about personal details, family details, "so which part of Maharashtra do you come from? I mean native place"... fuck off... I told you I am from Mumbai.. So that's it.


And yes, lots of these desis, who come from non metropolitan areas and those who have not mingled with people who speak an Indian language other than their own, have these stupid tendencies to try and get into your personal business.
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  #26  
Old July 18th, 2018, 03:52 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by echarcha View Post

I do not have enough time to spend making 'new' relationships unless they are related to my consulting and are going to benefit. Because that is what everyone does. Being close and trying to be a good friend etc does not work, at least not in the Bay Area.

out of curiosity, how does that work? All of them may not see any benefit from a 'new' relationship with you....

I suppose its swings and round-abouts. all parties in relationships maybe like -

Patata hai to take, nahi to ramtek
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Old July 18th, 2018, 05:04 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by dirty View Post
I have been consulting since last 10 years so I never become part of family but I am pretty open to talk about me to either desi or videsee . Since I am working with all American clients , I use english name for myself. Like Rakesh changed to Rick or Manoj Changed to Manny . No legally I have not change my name and no I have not forgotten my country but I am there to make money and not teach them my culture . So If Rick can get projects at a better billing rate then I am Rick . I dont need to tell you I am Rakesh and how I need to spell it.
Now most of the desis are very curious about my real name and they go round about way trying to find that out . If only you woul have asked , I would have told you asshole coz I have nothing to hide . I just say my legal name is Rakesh but I go by Rick. But being desi they have to spin some.

One of the issues with this approach I have found is the professional network may not recognise you with the correct/full name. so I knew this guy from work as Danny. we parted ways and a few years later I ended up seeing - and skipping - his CV. the name on the CV was Dhanraj and there was no way to figure out Dhanraj and Danny I knew were the same people! Ended up finding later he had applied.
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  #28  
Old July 18th, 2018, 12:48 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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out of curiosity, how does that work? All of them may not see any benefit from a 'new' relationship with you....

I suppose its swings and round-abouts. all parties in relationships maybe like -

Patata hai to take, nahi to ramtek

In the Bay Area, since time immemorial, the practice is
- A desi will walk up to you at work and try to create some relationship other than the usual work relation.
- Similarly a desi living in your community / apartment / townhome complex/ etc will try to strike a relation with you.

Now many years ago this was for chutiyapanti like Amway and Quixar type of schemes. Not all of it, but quite a lot of it.

But the overall thing is, get to know someone beyond the cursory 'Hi Hello' and then talk shop. The topic starts casually and then veers to 'How can you help me?' I say, nothing wrong with this too. Yes, nothing wrong in asking for help.

The thing that irritates me is that these folks never come to the point directly. They meander, take diversions by asking too many personal questions, etc etc.

I had a recent, ummm.. last year to be precise, experience with a desi living in the same community as mine. Ghuma fira ke first baat hui job ke liye.. Theek hai.. but then it came to asking for money! Yes, outright money!!
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Old July 18th, 2018, 12:56 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
In the Bay Area, since time immemorial, the practice is
- A desi will walk up to you at work and try to create some relationship other than the usual work relation.
- Similarly a desi living in your community / apartment / townhome complex/ etc will try to strike a relation with you.

Now many years ago this was for chutiyapanti like Amway and Quixar type of schemes. Not all of it, but quite a lot of it.

But the overall thing is, get to know someone beyond the cursory 'Hi Hello' and then talk shop. The topic starts casually and then veers to 'How can you help me?' I say, nothing wrong with this too. Yes, nothing wrong in asking for help.

The thing that irritates me is that these folks never come to the point directly. They meander, take diversions by asking too many personal questions, etc etc.

I had a recent, ummm.. last year to be precise, experience with a desi living in the same community as mine. Ghuma fira ke first baat hui job ke liye.. Theek hai.. but then it came to asking for money! Yes, outright money!!
One solution might be to move away from Heavy Desi infested areas. Didnt have such ones even in SoCal. Lesser in mid west.
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Old July 18th, 2018, 01:01 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

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One solution might be to move away from Heavy Desi infested areas. Didnt have such ones even in SoCal. Lesser in mid west.
On an afterthought, what works for me is to stay a low level cybercoolie. No one will bother you for jobs and Money.
Possibly thats a better solution
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