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  #1  
Old July 13th, 2018, 03:31 PM
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Post How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

I have come across many desis who try to get way too personal within the first few days that you meet them at your work place.

For example, I met a desi at my latest client's place. This desi guy started with general questions like which place are you from in India, etc.. Fine, that's okay. He was just trying to become familiar.

But within the next 2 days he started asking me way too many questions. Well, he thought I am a fresh H1B desi or someone from the village he came from because after my reply, he was shaken. I told him blunty - "Hey, I do not discuss things like masturbation, sex, and my personal information with anyone unless they have good tits! And I dont think you have any tits!"

Oh man.. the look on his face!!! I actually felt a bit pity ...
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  #2  
Old July 14th, 2018, 08:53 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Indians by nature are almost always too nosey, and want to be friends if working together, nothing short of chaddi dost works .. for such folks seeking friendliness to get work out of me, I generally break hearts by being non-cooperating and say I can’t help you I don’t get credit for it.
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Old July 14th, 2018, 08:59 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Always speak to them in English only. That generally solves the problem most of the times. Most such chutiyas would have come from chandnichowk, or Charminar or some interior part without good English skills.
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Old July 15th, 2018, 02:29 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Hain? Way too many personal questions?? He prolly sounds more interested in you than being nosey You, on the other hand seem to be paranoid about committing. Commitment phobic kahin ke! Just let the poor fellow know what your expectations are from this journey of working together.

P.S. And no body shaming, please. Tits nahin toh kya hua? Now, your reply to him makes me wonder whether you want him to focus on his job or boob job?!
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Old July 16th, 2018, 12:37 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

I just say that is too personal.
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Old July 16th, 2018, 06:35 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

That's how friendships build, no? we are not born with information about friends.

Some people do want to get friendly with people they work with - spend most part of their day with. so while I dont necessarily agree with it, I understand why people do it.

so how do I handle such invasive queries - answer them in monosyllables and never ask them the same information back. Normally people get a hint. For those that dont, I go the cha pai's way - probably not those words....
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Old July 16th, 2018, 09:04 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Aur kya, I feel the same, KK! It is easy to feel isolated in a new environment. At times you might think it's more convenient to simply stick to yourself. But expanding your circle will only help you improve your social skills (which I think this guy is lacking - directly jumping to apna haath who does that?)
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  #8  
Old July 16th, 2018, 11:07 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsShaanze View Post
Hain? Way too many personal questions?? He prolly sounds more interested in you than being nosey You, on the other hand seem to be paranoid about committing. Commitment phobic kahin ke! Just let the poor fellow know what your expectations are from this journey of working together.

P.S. And no body shaming, please. Tits nahin toh kya hua? Now, your reply to him makes me wonder whether you want him to focus on his job or boob job?!
I dont know who you are nor if you are an old id etc.

I cannot and do not share my personal things and information with anyone, especially people I meet at work.

I think my blunt reply was good enough to make him shut up. Now he does not bother me nor tries small talk. I don't need that anyway. I am at the work place to get my work done and get out.


So MsShaanze or whoever you really are - One thing about me on echarcha - I do not give explanations to people trying to be too smart or preachy with me. I am not at facebook scale, but whatever I am, I know how to run things and don't think twice about just shutting out irritation.
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  #9  
Old July 16th, 2018, 11:10 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kkkk View Post
That's how friendships build, no? we are not born with information about friends.

Some people do want to get friendly with people they work with - spend most part of their day with. so while I dont necessarily agree with it, I understand why people do it.

so how do I handle such invasive queries - answer them in monosyllables and never ask them the same information back. Normally people get a hint. For those that dont, I go the cha pai's way - probably not those words....
I am not a teenager or someone who needs to have friends all the time. I have some very good friends who became my friends long long ago. I am happy with them and don't need anyone new.

Also, only desis have this habit of getting into each others' lives. Fuck it, I come for work, I have my friends, I have my echarcha group, I have my whatsapp groups. That's all I need.

And definitely I cannot and will not share anything personal beyond 'Hi how are you?' with anyone at work. Keeps things professional, keeps things untangled and ensures very low chances of office politics.
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Old July 16th, 2018, 11:53 AM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Quote:
Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
I dont know who you are nor if you are an old id etc.

I cannot and do not share my personal things and information with anyone, especially people I meet at work.

I think my blunt reply was good enough to make him shut up. Now he does not bother me nor tries small talk. I don't need that anyway. I am at the work place to get my work done and get out.


So MsShaanze or whoever you really are - One thing about me on echarcha - I do not give explanations to people trying to be too smart or preachy with me. I am not at facebook scale, but whatever I am, I know how to run things and don't think twice about just shutting out irritation.
Firstly, you shouldn't care old id or not, for I don't give a damn who you are!
Secondly, you are the one who posted a question aka created the thread. I only responded!!
Thirdly, you should stick to not giving explanations, I didn't ask for any!!!
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  #11  
Old July 16th, 2018, 12:33 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsShaanze View Post
Firstly, you shouldn't care old id or not, for I don't give a damn who you are!
Secondly, you are the one who posted a question aka created the thread. I only responded!!
Thirdly, you should stick to not giving explanations, I didn't ask for any!!!


You dont care who I am.. that is fine.. I own and run the site. Just a fact for your knowledge.

I do whatever I think is right and that has kept my site running for last 18 years. eCharcha has not grown big and that's fine. Its a place that has survived despite so many real social media options.

So don't patronise me, don't tel me what to do, dont teach me anything. Ever!
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Old July 16th, 2018, 12:48 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

You own this site, so? Did anyone force you to?? Certainly, not me! And, am I supposed to be at your mercy, since you own this site? Shut it whenever you feel like or check with the rest of us if you ever need any contribution. Will be happy to help! What makes you think I'm patronizing or gyaan giving, I wonder.

P.S. Again, too many explanations! I didn't ask for any!!

P.P.S. I'm aware what area I'd like to work on my knowledge. So, thanks but no thanks.
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Old July 16th, 2018, 02:47 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Quote:
Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

I have come across many desis who try to get way too personal within the first few days that you meet them at your work place.

For example, I met a desi at my latest client's place. This desi guy started with general questions like which place are you from in India, etc.. Fine, that's okay. He was just trying to become familiar.

But within the next 2 days he started asking me way too many questions. Well, he thought I am a fresh H1B desi or someone from the village he came from because after my reply, he was shaken. I told him blunty - "Hey, I do not discuss things like masturbation, sex, and my personal information with anyone unless they have good tits! And I dont think you have any tits!"

Oh man.. the look on his face!!! I actually felt a bit pity ...
I am pretty sure this guy was from Amway gang. That is how they start. But good response to shut him off.
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Old July 16th, 2018, 02:48 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsShaanze View Post
You own this site, so? Did anyone force you to?? Certainly, not me! And, am I supposed to be at your mercy, since you own this site? Shut it whenever you feel like or check with the rest of us if you ever need any contribution. Will be happy to help! What makes you think I'm patronizing or gyaan giving, I wonder.

P.S. Again, too many explanations! I didn't ask for any!!

P.P.S. I'm aware what area I'd like to work on my knowledge. So, thanks but no thanks.
Bus gadha dharee Bhim bus.
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Old July 16th, 2018, 02:49 PM
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Re: How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?

Quote:
Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
I have come across many desis who try to get way too personal within the first few days that you meet them at your work place.
I have not had such experiences. No one bothers me with these questions. Am wondering if i have the answer to the question below.
Quote:
Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
How do you handle nosey desis at the work place?
Following is what i do which seems to keep them out. Take your pic.

1. Be a boring guy who hardly talks.
2. Talk about booze.
3. If anyone discusses movies, say that you watch only old Dharmender and Govinda movies like 'Insaniyat Ke Dushman', 'Badle ki aag', etc.
4. If cricket is being discussed, bring up 'Blackwash' of India by West Indies in 1983 to avenge the world cup defeat.
5. Maintain the reputation as a low level cybercoolie who cant pull any strings.

More later on.
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