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  #1  
Old May 5th, 2012, 12:04 PM
ashdoc ashdoc is offline
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Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Calling all the aficionados of slam bang action......

The movie you dreamt of in your dreams is here.....

Yeah , your dreams are going to come true.....

The dreams you dreamt of seeing pile after pile of dead bodies , of blood being spilled all around , of jaws being smashed and bones being broken---are all gonna come real.....

And doing all the damage is Jason Statham---the half baldie hero of the twenty first century ; the successor to the half baldie hero of the twentieth century---Bruce Willis , who else.....

Yeah , I am remembering the days when Bruce Willis was half bald....
Now he is completely bald , but thats another matter.....he was half bald in my younger days......

Its another matter that Jason cannot compete with Bruce as an actor , but he makes up in brawn for what he lacks in acting.....

Now back to the action.....

Bullets are fired like hail in a hailstorm , or rain in a downpour---take your pick.....

Bodies fly around like ninepins.....

Tables and chairs smashed around like anything.....

Blood spattered around makes neat and colourful configurations on the walls or carpets depending on what the dead body hits after being shot.....

Mean baddies roam around the city lusting for mayhem.....

And they all vie for the post of who is more cruel than the rest.....and man , the competition for that post is pretty tough....

And in the midst of all this is a little Chinese girl whose brain works faster than a computer.....

.....And she's memorised the very long combination number which can open a safe that contains a lot of money.....

Big trouble....

For now everyone's after her to get the number---the Chinese gang , the Russian gang and also the crooked police.....

But triumphing over them all is Jason Statham the one man army cum messiah of the little girl.....

Yeah , she's orphaned and he's lost his family---so they both need each other.....

Thats the story.....

But who cares about the story.....

For there's never a dull moment when Jason is around---as he always is....

And because he's always around , dull moments in the movie are as rare as ice in the deserts of the Sahara and as rare as cactus plants inside the artic circle.....

And towards the end , the lack of dullness is too much , the nonstop action is way too much and the breakneck speed of the movie is a little too much.....

But its still enough for some timepass.....

Verdict---nothing great , but you can call it watchable.....
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Last edited by ashdoc; May 5th, 2012 at 12:26 PM.
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  #2  
Old May 5th, 2012, 12:09 PM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Sounds Horrible!!
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  #3  
Old May 5th, 2012, 12:18 PM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead On Arrival View Post
Sounds Horrible!!
Stick to chick-flicks, Behena.
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  #4  
Old May 5th, 2012, 12:55 PM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Quote:
Originally Posted by sanjayt View Post
Stick to chick-flicks, Behena.
: phew: :wipe sweat of my brow:

That leaves just those 2 mods now...
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  #5  
Old May 5th, 2012, 12:59 PM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Mujhe nahi pata tha tu mod hi
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Originally Posted by Sane Less View Post
: phew: :wipe sweat of my brow:

That leaves just those 2 mods now...
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  #6  
Old May 5th, 2012, 01:38 PM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

I just read the review.

Awesome review!

Not my kind of movie ... but great review. Enjoyed reading it.

The movie, I'm sure, will give me a throbbing headache.

You didn't mention the music. Does the music peak into a vile, unbearably loud crescendo as the baddies go about their business?
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  #7  
Old May 5th, 2012, 08:35 PM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

hmmm... 666 ... hmmmm....just recording it for posterity.

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  #8  
Old May 6th, 2012, 10:08 AM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Quote:
Originally Posted by raniraja View Post
hmmm... 666 ... hmmmm....just recording it for posterity.
I'm sure posterity will appreciate this thoughtful gesture from you.
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  #9  
Old May 6th, 2012, 10:18 AM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

You sometimes remind me of chitrala
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Originally Posted by sanjayt View Post
I'm sure posterity will appreciate this thoughtful gesture from you.
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  #10  
Old May 6th, 2012, 10:24 AM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Thank you, Swami. I hope I brought back some pleasant memories.
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  #11  
Old May 6th, 2012, 10:27 AM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Quote:
Originally Posted by sanjayt View Post
Thank you, Swami. I hope I brought back some pleasant memories.
If there was any time to come clean.. this is it !
Tell us.. who you are! You have bringing back lot of memories
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  #12  
Old May 6th, 2012, 10:29 AM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Ab tereko yeh kaun lagta hi
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead On Arrival View Post
If there was any time to come clean.. this is it !
Tell us.. who you are! You have bringing back lot of memories
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  #13  
Old May 6th, 2012, 10:31 AM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Quote:
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Ab tereko yeh kaun lagta hi
I was talking on your behalf ..
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  #14  
Old May 6th, 2012, 10:48 AM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead On Arrival View Post
If there was any time to come clean.. this is it !
Tell us.. who you are! You have bringing back lot of memories
Thank you.

An auspicious day, indeed.

It's not every day that I bring back pleasant memories to two people.
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  #15  
Old May 11th, 2012, 01:34 AM
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Re: Ashdoc's movie review---Safe

Chalo , i am getting a little bit of recognition .

That is , if imitation is the best form of flattery and copying is the ultimate salute .

Somebody has posted my reviews in another forum using the id diya 100 ( diya mirza kyun nahi ?? ) and somebody ( probably the same person ) has given links to my reviews here---

http://www.gujaraticlub.info/2012/04...o-ashdocs.html

mind you , the forum where these reviews are copy/pasted has removed them rightly recognising them to be copied from somewhere else .

but the 2nd link does work....
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