eCharcha.Com   Support eCharcha.Com. Click on sponsor ad to shop online!

Advertise Here

Go Back   eCharcha.Com > eCharcha Lounge > Friday Special

Notices

Friday Special Tickle your funny bone...

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old March 16th, 2016, 07:49 AM
Pakau Pakau is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 169
Pakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to behold
Talking Great subtle humour prank: This time on Vijay Mallya

Read between the lines. Understand and enjoy the subtle but great quality jokes. We all know who the genius is playing these pranks on famous but cartoon personalities. Last time it was Yeddyurappa. This time the bakra is Vijay Mallya. This is better than any comedy shows or movies that is intended to entertain us.

You will fall off the chair and roll on the floor laughing.

My sister had noticed and posted here the 'prequel'.


Last edited by Pakau; March 18th, 2016 at 02:31 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old March 16th, 2016, 07:54 AM
Pakau Pakau is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 169
Pakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to behold
Talking Re: Great subtle humour prank: This time on Vijay Mallya

A peek inside Mallya's mind: Billionaire who dreamt of being CM and boasted he could 'buy any journo in India'

Mar 15, 2016 15:58 IST

By Srinivasa Prasad
The first lunch I had with Vijay Mallya was a memorable one and not just because it lasted four and a half hours. And certainly not because the amount of UB beer and McDowell whiskey that he downed would have laid up one of his thoroughbred horses for two days. "I drink only my own brands," he said.

I remember it because of the unmistakable fire, the driving ambition and the true zeal that I saw in the eyes of a young tycoon. It was 1986 and he was 31. And it was three years since he had taken over as Chairman of the United Breweries following his father Vittal Mallya’s death at 59.

There were two things he harped on over that lunch. One was that he had inherited a Rs 300-crore company from his father and he would soon turn it into a Rs 3,000-crore empire. Those were the amounts he mentioned. The second was that he would pull it off by diversifying into areas other than liquor. It seemed to me that what he would have liked to say, but what he didn’t, was that he wanted to be a man of his own making. He didn’t want history to remember him as a father’s son.

“Liquor doesn’t have too much future,” he said, between gulps of it. “You can’t even advertise it in India.” That was what made him look elsewhere to diversify.

I must confess that I was truly impressed, and I believed he would do as he promised. But that was 30 years ago.



The lunch came a couple of weeks after his arrest and release on bail by the Enforcement Directorate (ED) for alleged FERA violations, and after he screamed at me outside the ED office. When he saw me talking to his wife Sameera, who was in tears, he shouted: “You made my wife cry.” I explained that I had been waiting outside the office for five hours to get his version of the FERA case, that his wife had arrived only a few minutes earlier and she had broken down after I asked her a few questions and that I was only doing my job as a reporter. Then he softened up and almost apologised. The man was forgiving after all!

Vijay Mallya became a young tycoon like his father had. It was in 1947, when he was only 22, that Vittal Mallya had become the Chairman of UB, a company that a Scotsman had founded in 1915, and five years later, acquired McDowell. The son shared the father’s penchant for acquisitions, but nothing else.

Besides beer and liquor, his father’s empire had included squashes, jams, chocolates, lime cordial, sewing machines and pharmaceuticals. The son jumped headlong into high-tech and core sectors: telecommunications, medical electronics, engineering, fertilisers, oil drilling, aviation services and bio-technology. He even bought into two provincial dailies in the US and two publications in India: Asian Age and Cine Blitz. Later he had to sell some of the new ventures. Some lost money, floundered or folded up.

Mallya met with failure after failure but, as even his worst critics would agree, he had “nerves of steel” * one of his favourite phrases.

It came as a surprise to me that Mallya let his executives barge into his study at the sprawling Brewery House that his father had built in Bangalore. Many of them would call Mallya by first name. And many would disagree with whatever he said, be it an appointment he needed to make or a medicine he needed to take or things he needed to do at the UB Headquarters, a stone’s throw away. He intensely cares for his first wife Sameera, a former Air India air hostess, whom he divorced after the birth of a son, and current wife Rekha, who gave him two daughters. Twice married earlier, Rekha has two children of her own. Mallya cares for all of them.

It mattered to him little that he was called Hugh Hefner of the East or a “king of good times”. He always said he only did openly what others did secretly.

The only thing that seemed to matter to him was raw ambition. In what proportion the “good things of life” and this ambition filled his mind is debatable, but there was ambition, of course, and it was strong and overpowering; an ambition that even overlooked simple business sense and brought down his empire, as it turned out in later years.

When blind ambition is accompanied by impulsive actions, too much of confidence in himself, too little of it in others around him and extravagant spending, businesses are guaranteed to flop. Reckless spending and “borrow-first-and-worry latter” * as some critic put it * were the hallmarks of his style from the start. I remember an ICICI Bank manager telling me a long time ago that his staff had a tough time recovering the credit card dues of Mallya.

Besides, he seemed to believe that money could get anything if you spent it in the right place and in right amounts. I was aghast once when he boasted during cocktails at the end of a press conference: “I can buy any journalist in India.”

The late 1990s metamorphosed Mallya, his ambition soaring to new heights. It was then that he decided on two ventures: launch himself into politics and launch a world-class airline. In the end, he flopped in both. In politics, he used corporate strategies. With the airline, he not only used political ploys, he even made it a fine example of how not to do business.

He told his close friends that one way to fight corporate cases and expand business empires was to acquire political power. It was then that he discovered that his title of “liquor baron” a liability. Such a prefix to his name is not likely to find favour with either the media or the voters, especially in Karnataka, where the liquor lobby is known to pay devious games to install and topple governments.

Mallya, of course, didn’t tell me all that, but what he did tell me, during his late-night calls (past 2 am) from the US (afternoon there) was that it hurt him to be called a “liquor baron”. Liquor, he explained, was only a tiny part of his business now with many other things thrown in. I didn’t see much point in arguing, especially since the incoming overseas calls were adding to my mobile bills in those days of high mobile tariffs.

Mallya, no doubt, had visions of becoming Karnataka’s Chief Minister by winning the 2004 state assembly elections for his Janata Party. But he found it the hard way that election victories needed more than the boardroom manoeuvres of corporate coups.

For campaigning, he extensively used his private jet, a helicopter and a Mercedes Benz. People turned up at his meetings more to see the rich man who was known to surround himself with pretty women in skimpy bikinis. To their horror, only well-dressed UB executives accompanied him to political rallies.

He fielded 155 candidates for the 224-strong assembly. He thought the sword of Tipu Sultan that he had acquired for Rs 1.6 core at a UK auction would get him the Muslim votes, but that was where his election arithmetic seemed to begin and end. He seemed pretty confident, when he spoke of a victory, the same way he would speak of corporate acquisitions and mergers. Money indeed flowed like beer from his breweries, but he didn’t win a single seat. He later blamed his defeat on people in his own party who had “selfish interests”.

Mallya entered the Rajya Sabha in 2002 with support from Deve Gowda’s Janata Dal (Secuar) and the Congress. He got a second term in 2010 with support from JD(S) and BJP.

All the parties are now trying to distance themselves from him. Politically, Mallya is closer to the Janata and Sangh parivars. The Congress now is accusing the Modi government of having let Mallya escape. But who let him commit the alleged crimes? Both the BJP and the Congress showered munificence on Mallya. In politics and business, munificence is not a one-way thing.

When Kingfisher Airlines was on the drawing board, requiring permissions, licenses and sanctions, Atal Bihari Vajpayee was the Prime Minister, and there were four civil aviation ministers: Ananth Kumar, Sharad Yadav, Shahnawaj Hussain and Rajiv Pratap Rudy. During the period from 2005 when the airline took off till 2013 when it went bust, the government and the banks were soft on Mallya, and it was the Congress-led UPA which was in power then. The civil aviation ministers of that period were: Praful Patel, Vayalar Ravi and Ajit singh.

In the middle of all this mess, there is only thing that you can be reasonably sure of. Mallya is not just about to take the next available flight to come back home.

The author is a senior journalist. He has covered the southern states extensively, and was part of the team that launched the Bengaluru edition of the Times of India in 1995.

http://www.firstpost.com/india/a-pee...a-2676036.html
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old March 18th, 2016, 03:51 AM
Pakau Pakau is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 169
Pakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to behold
Re: Great subtle humour prank: This time on Vijay Mallya

Can India bring Vijay Mallya back? Only time will tell

Suchetana Ray, Hindustan Times, New Delhi | Updated: Mar 16, 2016 09:56 IST


ED sources say they have not yet received any response to the summons issued to Vijay Mallya under the provisions of the Prevention of Money Laundering Act (PMLA). (Hindustan Times)

Till March 18, it’s wait-and-watch for the investigating agencies and the government before any action can be initiated against Vijay Mallya.

The Enforcement Directorate (ED) has summoned the beleaguered businessman to appear before it on Friday. Directorate sources say they have not yet received any response to the summons issued under the provisions of the Prevention of Money Laundering Act (PMLA).

While speculation that Mallya will not return to India is gaining ground, attorney general of India Mukul Rohatgi says, “As far as the SC notice is concerned, it does not mandate Mallya to appear in person.” The businessman’s legal counsel can also represent him.

But Mallya could be in trouble with the ED summon. “The summon under PMLA makes it mandatory for Vijay Mallya to appear in person. He can’t send his legal representative” explains a directorate source. He further clarifies that if the businessman fails to show up, ED is likely to revoke his passport.

Government sources say they are not yet chalking out a plan to bring Mallya back to India. “First Mallya needs to be proclaimed an absconder, only then will the government look at options of bringing him back. Revoking his passport is definitely an option,” says a top source in the government.

Criminal lawyer, Majeed Memon points out, “Deportation or extradition are options before the government depending on where Mallya is and India’s relation with that country.”

Extradition is the official process through which one country transfers a suspected or convicted criminal to another country, at its request. Whereas, deportation is the process through which a country sends a person back to his/her resident country, when the laws of the host country do not permit the foreigner to stay on.

But for either of these to kick in, points out Memon, Mallya will have to be declared an absconder.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/india/...10woj3VSK.html
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old March 21st, 2016, 08:14 AM
Pakau Pakau is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 169
Pakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to behold
Re: Great subtle humour prank: This time on Vijay Mallya

Vijay Mallya indicates he won't return for now, makes bakras of all and sundry

by FP Staff Mar 14, 2016 15:19 IST
#GMR Hyderabad International #Hyderabad court #Kingfisher Airlines #non-bailable warrant #Vijay Mallya



As the Indian judiciary and banks efforts to recover Rs 9,000 crore dues from billionaire Vijay Mallya reach a level of desperation, the liquor baron who is estimated to be worth about Rs 7,000 crore has indicated that he may not return to India at all.

"I do not feel the time is right. I feel passions are high. People need to think rationally," he said in an interview to the Sunday Guardian. In an indication he may even choose not to return at all, he has also said that he hoped that he would "return one day".

He said, loan defaults are a business matter and banks give out loans knowing the risk involved. "They decide, we don’t. Our own business was flourishing, but plummeted suddenly. Don’t make me the villain. I have the best intentions. I’m quiet because I fear my words will be twisted like of others," Mallya said.

On being asked he left country after being tipped off about the banks moving court, Mallya said it's a matter of interpretation and don't need anyone to tip hin off about anything. "I’ve never hidden any aspect about my life. I’m one of the most open people. I’m forced to go into hiding and that makes me sick," said Mallya.

"I am an Indian to the core. Of course I want to return," said Mallya in an interview.

But, he said the time is not right for him to return to India now as he has already been branded as a criminal, and will not get a fair chance to present his side.

Interestingly, the statement has come at a time when the Hyderabad Court has issued a non-bailable warrant againt Mallya. On Friday, the Hyderabad court issued a warrant after he failed to appear in a court here in connection with alleged dishonour of a cheque of Rs 50 lakh to GMR Hyderabad International Airport Ltd.

Cocking a snook at the Indian legal system and the tax payers at large, Mallya also said in the interview that he is an Indian to the core. "India has given me everything. It made me Vijay Mallya," he has said.Vijay Mallya

Interestingly, the statement has come at a time when the Hyderabad Court has issued a non-bailable warrant againt Mallya. On Friday, the court issued a warrant after he failed to appear in a court here in connection with the alleged dishonour of a cheque of Rs 50 lakh to GMR Hyderabad International Airport Ltd.

The counsel for Mallya, who is at the centre of a raging controversy after he left the country amid continuing efforts by banks to recover dues totalling over Rs 9,000 crore of unpaid loans and interest, said he will move the high court seeking quashing of the non-bailable warrant (NBW).

The 14th Additional Chief Metropolitan Magistrate court issued the NBWs on March 10 against the now defunct now-defunct Kingfisher Airline, its chairman Vijay Mallya and another senior official of the company and posted the matter for 13 April.

GMR counsel G. Ashok Reddy said, “He (Mallya) and others were supposed to appear before the court on March 10. They did not appear.... Hence, court issued NBW order which has to be executed by 13 April.”

There are a total of 11 cases involving Rs 8 crore payment to GMR and the NBWs were issued in connection with a Rs 50-lakh bounced cheque, he said.

GMR Hyderabad International Airport Ltd, or GHIAL, which runs Hyderabad's Rajiv Gandhi International Airport, had filed a petition in the court seeking Mallya's prosecution for defaulting on payments and cheating them by allegedly issuing cheques that bounced.

Advocate H. Sudhakar Rao, appearing for Mallya said, “NBWs have been issued in this case. There are other cases going on wherein we have got orders from High Court dispensing with his (Mallya's) attendence.”

”I will be filing an application in the high court for quashing this order of issuing warrants,” Rao told PTI.

When contacted, GMR refused to comment on the issue saying the matter is sub-judice.

GHIAL in October 2012 had withdrawn a case over “bounced” cheques against Mallya after the airline agreed to pay the outstanding amount due to the airport operator.

The court had also then issued NBWs against five senior executives of the airline, including Mallya.

”After the case was withdrawn, only a part of the due amount was paid and later they defaulted after which 11 cases were now filed against the airline under provisions of the Negotiable Instruments Act,” sources said.

With inputs from PTI

http://www.firstpost.com/business/vi...s-2673000.html
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old March 21st, 2016, 08:48 AM
Pakau Pakau is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 169
Pakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to behold
Arrow Re: Great subtle humour prank: This time on Vijay Mallya

MAR 9, 2016 @ 06:54 PM 15,770 VIEWS

Vijay Mallya Goes Down Partying

As the banks closed in on Vijay Mallya and urged his arrest, the Indian liquor magnate’s penchant for ‘good times’ has brought the bad times upon him, say some of his closest friends.

Weeks after the State Bank of India , India’s biggest lender, had labeled him as a “wilful defaulter” for the more than $1.3 billion owed by his now-defunct Kingfisher Airlines, Mallya hosted the mother of all bashes to celebrate his 60th birthday in the beach resort town of Goa last December.

The 2-day party, attended by more than 200 people, featuring a fireworks display and performances by Spanish pop star Enrique Iglesias and Bollywood singer Sonu Nigam, is estimated by his friends to have cost the former billionaire more than $2 million. (Mallya had, however, claimed that Nigam performed for free)


Vijay Mallya, so long, farewell (AP Photo/Saurabh Das)

The celebrations took place at Kingfisher Villa, the iconic beachfront mansion in North Goa named after his UB Group’s popular beer. Guests were put up in style at the adjoining Taj hotel resort. In attendance was Mallya’s only son Siddhartha, who had quit his business career a couple of years ago to follow his passion for acting. In 2005, Mallya had launched Kingfisher Airlines with much fanfare on his son’s 18th birthday.

The Goa extravaganza earned Mallya, who is also a nominated member of parliament, the ire of Raghuram Rajan, the much-respected governor of the Reserve Bank of India . “If you flaunt your birthday bashes even while owing the system a lot of money, it does seem to suggest to the public that you don’t care. I think that is the wrong message to send. If you are in trouble, you should be cutting down your expenses,” said Rajan in a January television interview.

Mallya had shown no sign of giving up the good life even after Kingfisher Airlines shut operations in 2012 and staff were owed unpaid salaries for months. Lavish parties, some aboard his luxury yatch, were part of his signature style. In a recent letter to Mallya, Kingfisher staff noted that “We are still not able to understand what you meant when you said “I don’t have money to pay your salaries” while the spree continues let it be Caribbean Premier League or luxurious yatch.”

Apparently, Mallya was advised by some friends to avoid a big gala in India for his 60th birthday and instead have a small celebration in London, where he maintains a luxury pad and country estate. Ignoring such well-meaning advice, the former billionaire, who is said to have departed for London last week, went on to host what could well be his last mega supper in a long time.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/naazneen.../#3054c3db5178
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old March 21st, 2016, 08:53 AM
Pakau Pakau is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 169
Pakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to behold
Re: Great subtle humour prank: This time on Vijay Mallya

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pakau View Post
As is usually the case, the sequel is not as good as the original.

Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old March 28th, 2016, 11:43 PM
Pakau Pakau is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 169
Pakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to beholdPakau is a splendid one to behold
Re: Great subtle humour prank: This time on Vijay Mallya

Pay Dues Honourably Or Face Coercive Action: Arun Jaitley To Mallya

Press Trust on India | Last Updated: March 28, 2016 13:12 (IST)



New Delhi: In a stern warning to wilful defaulters like Vijay Mallya, Finance Minister Arun Jaitley said they should settle their dues honourably with the banks or else be ready to face "coercive action" by lenders and investigative agencies.

"I don't want to make any comments on individual cases but I think it's a responsibility of large groups like his (Vijay Mallya's) to honourably settle their dues with the banks," he told PTI in an interview here.

He further said that banks have certain collaterals of group companies of Vijay Mallya and will take legal action to recover dues that are in excess of Rs. 9,000 crore.

"Banks have some securities. Banks plus other agencies have also coercive methods available with them through legal enforcement...these are all being investigated by relevant agencies," he said.

Mallya, promoter of long-grounded Kingfisher Airlines, had left India on March 2, presumably for London, days before the Supreme Court heard a plea of clutch of state-owned banks seeking recovery from his group firms.

Mallya and Kingfisher Airlines owed Rs. 7,800 crore to a consortium of 17 lenders led by State Bank, which had an exposure of over Rs. 1,600 crore to the now defunct airline.

Other banks that have exposure to the airline include Punjab National Bank and IDBI Bank (Rs. 800 crore each), Bank of India (Rs. 650 crore), Bank of Baroda (Rs. 550 crore), Central Bank of India (Rs. 410 crore).

UCO Bank has to recover Rs. 320 crore, Corporation Bank (Rs. 310 crore), State Bank of Mysore, (Rs. 150 crore), Indian Overseas Bank (Rs. 140 crore), Federal Bank (Rs. 90 crore), Punjab & Sind Bank (Rs. 60 crore) and Axis Bank (Rs. 50 crore).

The Finance Minister said the government has been trying to address the problem of NPAs in sectors such as steel, textile, highways and infrastructure, which are on account of economic slowdown.

"I think the NPA resolution process will now begin. The sectors which have caused distress... I have always said that there are two kinds of NPAs. One is because of economic environment, the losses in certain categories of industry. Now those areas we are trying to address," he said.

(This story has not been edited by NDTV staff and is auto-generated from a syndicated feed.)

http://profit.ndtv.com/news/budget/a...mallya-1291310
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What if Vijay Mallya took over LPG cylinder distribution? echarcha Audio, Video & Photography 29 June 25th, 2010 12:18 AM
Vijay Mallya buys Spyker F1 team compukid Taaza Khabar - Current news 9 September 5th, 2007 10:15 PM
Indian films in all time great list max de Indiana Films 2 May 23rd, 2005 08:00 PM
Great Bits Of Wisdom For Our Time Parashuram SoapBox 0 January 24th, 2002 07:34 PM
Morbid humour at a time of tragedy echarcha SoapBox 7 October 19th, 2001 12:13 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:27 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Site Copyright © eCharcha.Com 2000-2012.