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  #16  
Old June 14th, 2011, 01:44 PM
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Re: Sad news thread..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sane Less View Post
How is this in any way a dowry harassment death This is one psycho girl who needed urgent treatment... but sadly nobody recognized her condition and she let herself out of this world. I sure hope that not all women feel and react like this one did.
If a marriage fails, some Indian women now take revenge and harass their husband/ex-husband using the stupid dowry laws we have. These dowry laws were made with a good intention - to reduce dowry, but the way they were written they are now being used by some Indian women to take revenge simply because the relationship soured. These laws need to be scrapped or redone.

Check this article by Madhu Kiswar if you are interested in the topic:
http://www.indiatogether.org/manushi/issue148/dowry.htm
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  #17  
Old June 14th, 2011, 06:13 PM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

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Originally Posted by dollyg View Post
Im sorry i dont have any sympathy for a person who kills herself over a failed marriage. She should have separated from him. She killed herself over his love affair?! Sorry there is no dignity in taking your life. Its cowardice!

...
Quote:
Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
No one cares about anyone except themselves. Period. So grow up, face reality that shit happens and move on. Dont kill yourself over someone who is not worth it.
The death itself is not a problem... we have way too much population anyway... better to weed out the weaker elements, naturally

But she actually tortured herself for almost 4 months. She got married in Feb and immediately came to know there is a problem. But she continued to cry and whine about her problems all the way till June... and then committed suicide. Why suffer so much What was she expecting That her husband will automatically become a good man and start loving her? Too much to expect from a lousy coward... who couldn't even stand up to his own mother.
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  #18  
Old June 14th, 2011, 08:58 PM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

I guess she was influenced by "Sooraj barjatiyas" films more than she was by "karan johars"

[Giving benefit of doubt and accepting this is a true story] Well, she was not strong willed girl at all. She should have stood up for herself.
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  #19  
Old June 14th, 2011, 09:20 PM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

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Originally Posted by Pratiksha View Post
I guess she was influenced by "Sooraj barjatiyas" films more than she was by "karan johars"

[Giving benefit of doubt and accepting this is a true story] Well, she was not strong willed girl at all. She should have stood up for herself.
Parents, especially parents of girls, need to assure their daughters that if some shit happens, they will always support her.

On the other hand, girls of today, better learn to be strong and not melt emotionally to a degree of taking steps like suicide.

Shit happens. Move on.
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  #20  
Old June 14th, 2011, 10:51 PM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

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Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
Parents, especially parents of girls, need to assure their daughters that if some shit happens, they will always support her.

On the other hand, girls of today, better learn to be strong and not melt emotionally to a degree of taking steps like suicide.

Shit happens. Move on.
Whole lot of stuff going on here. The girl seems to have been sensitive and emotional kind, brought up in traditional Indian thinking, see even in the last part she wishes well for her husband.
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  #21  
Old June 14th, 2011, 11:05 PM
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Talking Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

Smartu's Girlfriend Ramya and Smartu with Pappaji.

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  #22  
Old June 15th, 2011, 04:05 AM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

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Originally Posted by Zorro View Post
Sad story for a weak minded woman. She had her version of the marriage and ignored all the red flags sprouting up well before marriage. That she had no confidantes besides her diary is in itself a sad fact.

I dont think her family has any grounds to sue anyone. Wouldnt the diary actually work against them?
Do you know if there is any law in India governing extra marital affairs? I dont think there is...is there? No, certainly not a dowry harassment death.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dollyg View Post
Im sorry i dont have any sympathy for a person who kills herself over a failed marriage. She should have separated from him. She killed herself over his love affair?! Sorry there is no dignity in taking your life. Its cowardice!

And no, I dont believe this should be a dowry death case! What the fish is wrong with people in our country!
You know the most ironic part Dolly? Apparently Sweety is a Gold medalist in her masters in Economics. Makes me wonder, to what extent does education comes to rescue when real life problems present themselves.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sane Less View Post
And who tf spends all of their money on a wedding... in today's world 18 lakhs... that's a lot of money. The father should have just given that money to his daughter... who could have then just started a business with her friend Rahul... and then setup a family with him too. I feel sad for this Rahul guy... reminds me of someone
This Rahul guy also should have proposed her before engagement itself...anyway, too many if's and but's in this case.

Quote:
Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
If she found out hubby had an affair, it was very simple for her - just walk out and file for divorce.
You are right but unfortunately, her parents or her brother obviously didnt assure her that they would stand by her, should there be a need. She is in a new city, newly married, no friends in Bangalore and the only acquaintance is her mother in law.
The only people Sweety was punishing is her parents by ending her life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chaiwaala View Post
If a marriage fails, some Indian women now take revenge and harass their husband/ex-husband using the stupid dowry laws we have. These dowry laws were made with a good intention - to reduce dowry, but the way they were written they are now being used by some Indian women to take revenge simply because the relationship soured. These laws need to be scrapped or redone.

Check this article by Madhu Kiswar if you are interested in the topic:
http://www.indiatogether.org/manushi/issue148/dowry.htm
I think her parents simply wanted to make some sort of trouble for the guy Chaiwala. I am sure they also know that there is no case for them. They are still grieving and hence did what ever they can to get the guy in trouble.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parijataka View Post
Whole lot of stuff going on here. The girl seems to have been sensitive and emotional kind, brought up in traditional Indian thinking, see even in the last part she wishes well for her husband.
Fully agree.
I wonder what Ramya was doing while all this is happening. I am fairly sure that none of the parties involved have guessed that she would actually end her life. This guilt would haunt this Ramya for the rest of her life.

And how come some girls are so stupid? This Tikku was involved with Ramya before marriage. Still, he went ahead and married Sweety. Ramya should have just backed off saying what an assh*** he is to marry someone else and never get in touch with him again. He comes back and she gladly accepts him again!

And this Sweety is another one...some stories really reiterate that no matter how much educated we are, at the end of day if we dont use common sense, all goes down the drain.
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  #23  
Old June 15th, 2011, 04:06 AM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
Parents, especially parents of girls, need to assure their daughters that if some shit happens, they will always support her.

On the other hand, girls of today, better learn to be strong and not melt emotionally to a degree of taking steps like suicide.

Shit happens. Move on.
Exactly. Young girls must be taught self confidence. No matter what, they can survive.

My full sympathy to the grieving parents and friends of sweety. A beautiful life, wasted. I hope no other young girl takes her life over and extra marital affair again. Poor thing, if only Sweety was still in Bihar, she would have had some friend to confide in.
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  #24  
Old June 15th, 2011, 04:16 AM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dollyg View Post
Im sorry i dont have any sympathy for a person who kills herself over a failed marriage. She should have separated from him. She killed herself over his love affair?! Sorry there is no dignity in taking your life. Its cowardice!

And no, I dont believe this should be a dowry death case! What the fish is wrong with people in our country!
I think when depression takes over, common sense doesnt work anymore Dolly. Else a gold medalist in PG would not/ at least should not do this. Any women should not take this extreme step.
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  #25  
Old June 15th, 2011, 05:16 AM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

My Gawd!! What a story - is it for real??

I have personally gone thru a lot in life (as have almost everyone). Yet, I'm not confident that the next crisis will not sink me.

We all say that we will never commit suicide. But then a crisis comes which we cannot even fathom. It disorients us. It takes a loooong time for the pain to pass. But then, our perception of the world changes. That is maturity. W get settled and comfortable in the newer, broader belief system. Then another crisis come on................

Shit!!!!!!
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  #26  
Old June 15th, 2011, 05:44 AM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
They are still grieving and hence did what ever they can to get the guy in trouble.
I understand their grief. But you know how these laws work? The guy is not supposed to take dowry, or if he has taken it, it has to be accounted for in some way specified in the law. Otherwise they can file a dowry harassment case. That's how he can be harassed.

He didn't give her love and affection. She was longing for that. But you can't criminalize that kind of behaviour. And he seemed to have married under pressure from his parents. So he had his own adjusting to do.

She seemed rather fragile. The new town and the lack of any kind of support network ... she was probably imagining in her own head all kinds of worst-case scenarios.

You seem rather perturbed by this. But I am not surprised. Sometimes these things happen. And here is a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche, "The thought of suicide is a powerful solace: by means of it one gets through many a bad night."
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  #27  
Old June 15th, 2011, 06:48 AM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

How can you begin to call some unknown person Smartu so soon? Also are these Bihari Bhaiyyas so smart looking anyways?
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  #28  
Old June 15th, 2011, 07:02 AM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

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Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
I think when depression takes over, common sense doesnt work anymore Dolly. Else a gold medalist in PG would not/ at least should not do this. Any women should not take this extreme step.
I think the girl was suffering from an extreme case of low self esteem. sorry, but she gets no sympathy, none whatsoever from me. She should have contacted some kind of suicide helpline or joined a support group if she was too weak to walk out on her marriage right then!!! hell, i wldve helped her!
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  #29  
Old June 15th, 2011, 07:11 AM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

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Originally Posted by dollyg View Post
I think the girl was suffering from an extreme case of low self esteem.
Hmm..I guess so..she was a Bihari too isnt it?It runs in their race I guess
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  #30  
Old June 15th, 2011, 07:25 AM
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Re: Extra Marital Affair ?

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Originally Posted by chaiwaala View Post

You seem rather perturbed by this. But I am not surprised. Sometimes these things happen. And here is a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche, "The thought of suicide is a powerful solace: by means of it one gets through many a bad night."
Ya, I am disturbed by this. But you the catch in Nietz..statement? Its the thought of suicide which is a solace and not the suicide itself.

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Originally Posted by viking View Post
How can you begin to call some unknown person Smartu so soon? Also are these Bihari Bhaiyyas so smart looking anyways?
Viking...woh to pyar mein thi.

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Originally Posted by dollyg View Post
I think the girl was suffering from an extreme case of low self esteem. sorry, but she gets no sympathy, none whatsoever from me. She should have contacted some kind of suicide helpline or joined a support group if she was too weak to walk out on her marriage right then!!! hell, i wldve helped her!
She had a good education also Dolly. Wonder why she chose this path. ya ya...i know, she was depressed.
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