eCharcha.Com   Support eCharcha.Com. Click on sponsor ad to shop online!

Advertise Here

Go Back   eCharcha.Com > Culture > Cultural Exchange

Notices

Cultural Exchange Cultural topics - Indian and other

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old July 31st, 2006, 08:51 AM
SuperDude SuperDude is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: California
Posts: 56
SuperDude is on a distinguished road
Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian / Indian - American

Why is it so hard for us Indian/Indian-American men to get a woman?:
http://news.pacificnews.org/news/vie...50314ee88fc4dd

I think it is a mistake for us to only focus on getting an Indian/Indian-American woman. These women are less than 1% of the women here in America, so it is kind of hard to meet them. Whenever I go out (I live in Southern California), I mostly see White, East Asian, and Hispanic women.

Also, trying to get a bride from India seems to be quite difficult. When I initially went, I thought it would be so easy. However, it was so hard.

I constantly heard from my mother about the merits of a woman brought up in India: She will be obedient, submissive, and not divorce me and get 50% of my assets (divorce scares the hell out of me, because I have worked so hard to get whatever I have). Going to India was so degrading for me. I got constant rejection from the families of these women for reasons such as I don't speak their Indian language (I was born and raised here in the U.S., so I refuse to apologize for the fact that I am Americanized and can not speak the language), my Catholic sect is different from their Catholic sect, and/or I live on my own (away from my parents).

I got interrogated by the father and uncles of these Indian women. They spent all of their time picking me apart and finding every little thing wrong with me. They wanted me to be 100% perfect. THey felt that I was not suitable for the woman. However, while denying me a woman, they were nice enough to give me tea and mango !!!! So, while I was drinking tea and eating mango, they spent the entire time complaining about numerous things such as the fact that I don't speak the Indian language (I am not sure why this was such a big issue, because I spoke with some of the women and they spoke English). On the bright side, I was so excited that they were so generous with giving me tea and mango. What a wonderful substitute for an actual woman!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old July 31st, 2006, 09:49 AM
28virgo's Avatar
28virgo 28virgo is offline
Senior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,507
28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute28virgo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDude

IGoing to India was so degrading for me. I got constant rejection from the families of these women
Yaar, why was it degrading? I mean, did you expect all the single women in India to line up and vie with each other to marry you? you've got to go with an open mind dude... I'm sure you wouldn't marry a girl you dont like so how do you expect them to do the same?? Besides the reasons which were given, have you ever thought that maybe they found you unattractive or something.. .. No offense meant...
__________________
My Karma just ran over your Dogma!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old July 31st, 2006, 10:03 AM
Sane Less's Avatar
Sane Less Sane Less is offline
Dead On Arrival is back
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 17,426
Sane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Supdoopi pai, you call yourself SuperDude and you constantly think about protecting yourself and your possessions. That is your downfall. Ever heard of any super hero with such characteristics The change should come from within.
__________________
-----------------------------------------------

"Hinduism brought a multitude of religions under one roof and survived for eons. Christianity and other religions will need to do the same or perish." - saneless
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old July 31st, 2006, 10:26 AM
dhurandhar's Avatar
dhurandhar dhurandhar is offline
Dhureshvar Dhuracharya
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Omnipresent
Posts: 13,278
dhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDude
Why is it so hard for us Indian/Indian-American men to get a woman?:
http://news.pacificnews.org/news/vie...50314ee88fc4dd

I think it is a mistake for us to only focus on getting an Indian/Indian-American woman. These women are less than 1% of the women here in America, so it is kind of hard to meet them. Whenever I go out (I live in Southern California), I mostly see White, East Asian, and Hispanic women.

Also, trying to get a bride from India seems to be quite difficult. When I initially went, I thought it would be so easy. However, it was so hard.

I constantly heard from my mother about the merits of a woman brought up in India: She will be obedient, submissive, and not divorce me and get 50% of my assets (divorce scares the hell out of me, because I have worked so hard to get whatever I have).
use the keyword, "pre-nuptial and lawyer" (without quotes of course) to protect your assets before marriage. That's how I protected myself from pain of three divorces
__________________
Hum woh hai jo vidhaata ka bhagya likhte hai
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old July 31st, 2006, 10:31 AM
Sane Less's Avatar
Sane Less Sane Less is offline
Dead On Arrival is back
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 17,426
Sane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by dhurandhar
use the keyword, "pre-nuptial and lawyer" (without quotes of course) to protect your assets before marriage. That's how I protected myself from pain of three divorces
Dhurnadhi pai, is the fourth one anywhere on the horizon ... I mean the fourth wife, not fourth divorce
__________________
-----------------------------------------------

"Hinduism brought a multitude of religions under one roof and survived for eons. Christianity and other religions will need to do the same or perish." - saneless
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old July 31st, 2006, 10:53 AM
SuperDude SuperDude is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: California
Posts: 56
SuperDude is on a distinguished road
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sane Less
Supdoopi pai, you call yourself SuperDude and you constantly think about protecting yourself and your possessions. That is your downfall. Ever heard of any super hero with such characteristics The change should come from within.
What is wrong with me being scared of divorce? America has such a high divorce rate. One of my friends got divorced by his wife. She got the home, and he had to move into his van.

Give me some specific advice about "the change should come from within". I feel I have the right to be scared of losing my possessions in the event of a divorce. There is nothing wrong with having concerns; however, you should not let your concerns dictate your behavior (such as trying to avoid getting married in order to avoid divorce).

Anyways, I don't expect to get any sympathy. I have noticed on these types of boards that people are so hard on the men. If a man can not get a woman, it is always his fault (and not the fault of women and/or their families who have exceedingly high expectations, such as he must be a Doctor, handsome, perfect, etc.).

I don't think I am ugly, because I have always had non-Indian women interested in me. Anyways, one of you advised that I should be open-minded. Well, that is the main theme of my post, which is we should be open-minded by considering non-Indians as possible marriage prospects.

Last edited by SuperDude; July 31st, 2006 at 11:10 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old July 31st, 2006, 10:57 AM
SuperDude SuperDude is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: California
Posts: 56
SuperDude is on a distinguished road
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by dhurandhar
use the keyword, "pre-nuptial and lawyer" (without quotes of course) to protect your assets before marriage. That's how I protected myself from pain of three divorces
Wow. Why did 3 divorces occur? Were they women brought up here in the United States, or in India?

I don't think it is easy to get a woman to sign a prenup. WOmen tend to get insulted when a man suggests that, because it implies the man thinks the woman is marrying him for his money.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old July 31st, 2006, 11:00 AM
Sane Less's Avatar
Sane Less Sane Less is offline
Dead On Arrival is back
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 17,426
Sane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDude
What is wrong with me being scared of divorce? America has such a high divorce rate. One of my friends got divorced by his wife. She got the home, and he had to move into his van.

Give me some specific advice about "the change should come from within". I feel I have the right to be scared of losing my possessions in the event of a divorce. There is nothing wrong with having concerns; however, you should not let your concerns dictate your behavior (such as trying to avoid getting married in order to avoid divorce).

Anyways, I don't expect to get any sympathy. I have noticed on these types of boards that people are so hard on the men.
you should see what we do with women out here

I was just commenting on your echarcha id, Soupdaddy pai. You have considered yourself as one of the super heroes...
__________________
-----------------------------------------------

"Hinduism brought a multitude of religions under one roof and survived for eons. Christianity and other religions will need to do the same or perish." - saneless
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old July 31st, 2006, 11:14 AM
Sane Less's Avatar
Sane Less Sane Less is offline
Dead On Arrival is back
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 17,426
Sane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond reputeSane Less has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDude
...
I don't think I am ugly, because I have always had non-Indian women interested in me. Anyways, one of you advised that I should be open-minded. Well, that is the main theme of my post, which is we should be open-minded by considering non-Indians as possible marriage prospects.
Try asian chicks... they can be very beautiful. Also you can marry a blonde... real good... mmmmm.
__________________
-----------------------------------------------

"Hinduism brought a multitude of religions under one roof and survived for eons. Christianity and other religions will need to do the same or perish." - saneless
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old July 31st, 2006, 11:19 AM
SuperDude SuperDude is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: California
Posts: 56
SuperDude is on a distinguished road
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sane Less
you should see what we do with women out here

I was just commenting on your echarcha id, Soupdaddy pai. You have considered yourself as one of the super heroes...
DO you live in India? YOu talked about "out here". I heard in India, men tend to have power over their women. That is different from America, where men and women are more equal (and, in some marriages, women actually have power over their men).
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old July 31st, 2006, 11:33 AM
SuperDude SuperDude is offline
Junior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: California
Posts: 56
SuperDude is on a distinguished road
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sane Less
Try asian chicks... they can be very beautiful. Also you can marry a blonde... real good... mmmmm.
You are right. THe good thing about Asians is they are not so obsessed with culture and religion like Indians are. So, if I want to marry a Vietnamese woman, I will not be rejected just because I don't speak Vietnamese.

There are beautiful women and ugly women in all races. Some men watch too many Indian movies, and get brainwashed into thinking that most Indian women are so beautiful like the Bollywood actresses. The reality is (just like with any race), only a small % of the Indian women look beautiful (while the rest of the Indian women are average-looking or ugly). The same thing can be said about men of any race - only a small % look like a handsome movie star with a handsome face and 6-pack abs, while the rest are average-looking (which is what I am) or ugly. ALso, Bollywood movies tend to have fair-skinned women, while when you go to Southern India you mostly see dark-skinned women all around you.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old July 31st, 2006, 02:28 PM
dhurandhar's Avatar
dhurandhar dhurandhar is offline
Dhureshvar Dhuracharya
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Omnipresent
Posts: 13,278
dhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDude
Wow. Why did 3 divorces occur? Were they women brought up here in the United States, or in India?

I don't think it is easy to get a woman to sign a prenup. WOmen tend to get insulted when a man suggests that, because it implies the man thinks the woman is marrying him for his money.
It depends on whether you are more eager to get married to her or vice versa
__________________
Hum woh hai jo vidhaata ka bhagya likhte hai
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old July 31st, 2006, 02:37 PM
dhurandhar's Avatar
dhurandhar dhurandhar is offline
Dhureshvar Dhuracharya
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Omnipresent
Posts: 13,278
dhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sane Less
Dhurnadhi pai, is the fourth one anywhere on the horizon ... I mean the fourth wife, not fourth divorce
Just got married and returned from honeymoon this week, and hence the 10 days absence from ec....now I am feeling which is best described by the lyrics of the country song, "I am married to a waitress and I don't even know her name"...so my fourth divorce is likely to occur sometime around Christmas...had her sign pre-nup which in effect stated that she will not get a penny if I dump her in two years
__________________
Hum woh hai jo vidhaata ka bhagya likhte hai
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old July 31st, 2006, 02:47 PM
Napolean Napolean is offline
Senior eCharchan
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 8,995
Napolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond reputeNapolean has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by dhurandhar
Just got married and returned from honeymoon this week, and hence the 10 days absence from ec....now I am feeling which is best described by the lyrics of the country song, "I am married to a waitress and I don't even know her name"...so my fourth divorce is likely to occur sometime around Christmas...had her sign pre-nup which in effect stated that she will not get a penny if I dump her in two years
Why only two years?What if she manages to stick with you for two years and then get divorced?
It should have been lifelong ideally or is that impossible to do?
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old July 31st, 2006, 02:55 PM
dhurandhar's Avatar
dhurandhar dhurandhar is offline
Dhureshvar Dhuracharya
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Omnipresent
Posts: 13,278
dhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond reputedhurandhar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Getting a woman is kind of hard if you only focus on Indian/Indian-American

Quote:
Originally Posted by Napolean
Why only two years?What if she manages to stick with you for two years and then get divorced?
It should have been lifelong ideally or is that impossible to do?
There is a fine print....the pre-nup is to be renewed every two years
__________________
Hum woh hai jo vidhaata ka bhagya likhte hai
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Is it hard to Find a Nice Indian Woman that will marry an American? american.james Relationships 33 December 30th, 2013 10:58 AM
What kind of a man/woman would you like to marry? echarcha Relationships 66 July 23rd, 2004 03:56 AM
More bad news for H1B: Indian IT will be hard hit: Nasscom echarcha Jobs 1 September 23rd, 2003 10:08 PM
Sex and the Indian Woman Parashuram Taaza Khabar - Current news 0 September 11th, 2003 02:11 PM
The Difference Between Focus on Problems, and Focus on Solutions: BlrBoy SoapBox 4 August 2nd, 2002 01:31 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:30 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Site Copyright © eCharcha.Com 2000-2012.