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  #1  
Old November 12th, 2014, 01:07 PM
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office funnies

Please share ONLY real life office funnies.. I can copy paste a million Dilbert and other cartoons here, but let's just not do that.

Quote:
Me on a telecon from US: Oh man, so many things to review. This will take a full hour. You're wearing me out.

Offshore team member in India: Hey yaar, how you are knowing what I am wearing today? Someone told you naa ..
I end up explaining the phrase "wear out" to him.
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  #2  
Old November 12th, 2014, 02:14 PM
Napolean Napolean is offline
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Re: office funnies

So (s)he was wearing you out? How did (s)he not take any offence if (s)he took literal meaning ?
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  #3  
Old November 12th, 2014, 02:18 PM
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Re: office funnies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Napolean View Post
So (s)he was wearing you out? How did (s)he not take any offence if (s)he took literal meaning ?
thankfully it was a he and not a she..
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  #4  
Old November 12th, 2014, 02:27 PM
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Re: office funnies

Another similar one..

Quote:
Me on a telecon from US after a long call with offshore team: alright, its late enough, I will call it a day guys, bye bye.

Offshore team member in India: Wait ! What do you mean? Isn't it night time right now in US?
I end up explaining the phrase "call it a day" to them.
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  #5  
Old November 12th, 2014, 04:32 PM
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Re: office funnies

Female coworker: BJ?
Me: Sure!

She was asking to go to lunch at BJ's Restaurant
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  #6  
Old November 12th, 2014, 04:33 PM
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Re: office funnies

So I think I have posted this earlier. I have two.

Quote:
We hired this India project Manager from Wipro in our office as a consultant and me being only other India she was very chatty with me. Also she had just moved to US with her husband and in LA was a beeg deal for her.
So after numerous discussion about how women in Holywood wear skimpy clothes one day we were both waiting near the printer to get our respective printouts ( Children's Homework ) and she looks at me and says...... ' Dirty I am going ask you something personal ". <Twang> Sound of a spring snapping........
She looked into my eyes and said " LAst night my husband got laid " .... I was nto sure I heard right ..so I went what ??

And she again repeats "last night my husband got laid ..." . I was not sure how react... Feeling the stress against the zipper of my pants I quickly tried to think of places where we could have sex..... My Bosses cabin ? He is never there ? How about the staircase.....

She continued " I am going to send you ......." ........

Her address ? Now, that is convenient but is she looking for threesome ...... I dont want her husband to touch me....

" I am going to send you his resume . Can you find a job for him. He is on h1 but his employer will support him for a transfer if needed'........


Hyan

" Her husband got Laid ...............OFF"


JESUS CHRIST>>>>>>>
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  #7  
Old November 13th, 2014, 04:44 AM
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Re: office funnies

Good one dirty .. Here's one I had posted earlier

Quote:
A gora colleague of mine was troubling this mallu chick who worked in our team... so she goes... "John why are you getting me off?"... so John speaks very loudly "NO NO NO what you meant was why are you troubling me... not the terms you used."

I was in the next cube laughing like crazy.
P.S. Lookup get off in the slang dictionary..
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Old November 12th, 2014, 02:14 PM
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Re: office funnies

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
Please share ONLY real life office funnies.. I can copy paste a million Dilbert and other cartoons here, but let's just not do that.



I end up explaining the phrase "wear out" to him.
Here are some of my own funnies.

Me: How was your weekend?
Female co-worker: Too short!
Me: No. It was the same as every weekend. It started at Friday 5:00 PM and ended this morning at 8:00 AM.
Female co-worker ends up with irritated look on her face!!
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Old November 13th, 2014, 06:53 AM
Bagheera Bagheera is offline
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Unhappy Re: office funnies

Chee!!! Kitne ghatiya jokes hai. Aur tum log usey bade chav se enjoy kar rahe hai.
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  #10  
Old November 25th, 2014, 06:36 AM
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Re: office funnies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bagheera View Post
Chee!!! Kitne ghatiya jokes hai. Aur tum log usey bade chav se enjoy kar rahe hai.

Now, you are Soniya, are'nt you????
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  #11  
Old November 25th, 2014, 08:28 AM
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Re: office funnies

Years ago I worked at this place on the second level, I got on the elevator as I was carrying some Krispy Kreme donuts for the team. A guy got on the elevator, and says to me I'm going to follow you to get one of these donuts.

He noticed the elevator is way too slow for going up one level so he goes "Man, did they buy this as a used elevator?". I replied, "I didn't know they even have used elevators."

We both burst out laughing.. He goes "but sure seems like one".
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Old November 25th, 2014, 09:22 AM
Aashika Aashika is offline
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Re: office funnies

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
We both burst out laughing.. He goes "but sure seems like one".
i didnt get it
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  #13  
Old November 25th, 2014, 11:25 AM
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Re: office funnies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aashika View Post
i didnt get it
how can an elevator be a "used" one.. but the stupid thing was so slow I swear I could run upstairs in that much time.
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Old December 5th, 2014, 07:10 AM
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Re: office funnies

Not terribly funny but slightly amusing -
One Lady in the van pool "I am going to my Brother's wedding in Kabul"

Me - What? You mean Kabul in Afghanistan??

The Lady : Nooo. It is Cabl in Mexico.
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Old December 5th, 2014, 07:13 AM
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Re: office funnies

One from ages back. a summer trainee in the real coolie co was confused on what to do after engineering.

Finally he gets a clear direction and here is his statement.

"I will go for IAS. God wants me to do that, else he would not have made me a Bihari"
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