office funnies

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Originally Posted by dirty

I still don't know your tune . When are you coming to US . You know MNC is used in India not US
It's not 3mos ago. It's 3 months back .........again your use of Indian English cracks me up.......

There was this desi guy (he came to US 15 years back ) who would prefix 'the' before people's names ..

I talked to the John and he will give me the details.

The George has sent me an email, I have not seen it yet.

We would of course laugh it up after meetings when he wasn't around..

[sarv_shaktimaan]

This monday I saw a desi guy in lobby of office tending to his toddler kid.. I told my desi colleague, this bugger's wife is interviewing here.. Woh bola tere ko kaise maloom.. Before I could state the obvious the desi's wife dressed in formals carrying a folder in hand was walking towards him. My colleague goes you should put 'intuitive' in your resume'. And I had Sherlock Holmes in mind .. Elementary my dear Watson !

[sgars]

Scene 1 - 4 of us are at a send off for our Boss at a dhaba which also serves alcohol and the boss is cursing at the top guys liberally and all are enjoying a good dose of alcohol and i had some 6 - 7 large ones of Smirnoff. One guy tells about a girl in his team with an OK face "She is flat, but they seem to be growing up after she got pregnant". i was having Vodka thinking it would not smell, but when i reach home better half tells that i am smelling more. I was not feeling much at the dhaba but just before sleeping i feel i am in some rocket. Thats the belated high effect of a Vodka.

Scene 2 - I meet this girl after 6 months when she turns up at off ice after a long absence. I say 'Congrats - is it a boyu or a girl'. She says . What??? i was on site. so much for her manager.

[sgars]

Conversation taking place opposite me in an office in Dillika circa 98.
Girl A is talking to Girl B about her Boyfriend -

Girl A - This guy loves all SRK movies and makes sure to watch them FDFS.
Girl B- Is he Gay?

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Originally Posted by sgars

Conversation taking place opposite me in an office in Dillika circa 98.
Girl A is talking to Girl B about her Boyfriend -

Girl A - This guy loves all SRK movies and makes sure to watch them FDFS.
Girl B- Is he Gay?

Lol .. to Girl B

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Last friday in office near my cube ..

Lady A: I appreciate all you did to help our team.

Lady B (in jest): I appreciate you appreciating me.. Hahaha.

Me (getting disturbed and sounding a little irritated): and I appreciate both of you appreciating each other.

Lady A, Lady B: hahahaha..
A teammate in nearby cube: Hahahaha.. Dude thats the best one I heard recently.

[kalidas]

Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan

Last friday in office near my cube ..

Lady A: I appreciate all you did to help our team.

Lady B (in jest): I appreciate you appreciating me.. Hahaha.

Me (getting disturbed and sounding a little irritated): and I appreciate both of you appreciating each other.

Lady A, Lady B: hahahaha..
A teammate in nearby cube: Hahahaha.. Dude thats the best one I heard recently.

Last friday, there was this desi girl lost in thought in her cube.

I sneaked up to her and said:
Ankhein mundakar baithi ho tassavur mein kisi ke.
Aise mein agar koi cham se aa jaye toh kya ho?

(from sharabi)

[smellyfinger]

Originally Posted by kalidas

Last friday, there was this desi girl lost in thought in her cube.

I sneaked up to her and said:
Ankhein mundakar baithi ho tassavur mein kisi ke.
Aise mein agar koi cham se aa jaye toh kya ho?

(from sharabi)

Did she have HR on speed dial?

[dirty]

Originally Posted by smellyfinger

Did she have HR on speed dial?

No he was looking at the mirror.........

[Jagmohan]

I remember, we had a great fun at one MNC here in the USA, I'd worked with,
when one Indian guy never knew that Randy is a male's name, and he was referring to him as 'her',.. "

I received her e-mail she had left me a message and he was clearly pronouncing him in a desi style and accent like " Randii " !! lol.

He was the same guy when he saw a bottle of " Muscle-man's apple juice " in the refrigerator and was asking a gora,.. R U a musal-maan / Moslum religion ?

[sarv_shaktimaan]

I have a colleague named Randy (Randall) who was duly informed by his teammates.. And an ex-colleague Diane the witch.

I've think I've posted previously in the funny names thread about an intern I knew named Chase Cox .. The guy was 6'8" tall and real bulky so we never made fun of his name.

[sgars]

Originally Posted by Jagmohan

I remember, we had a great fun at one MNC here in the USA, I'd worked with,
when one Indian guy never knew that Randy is a male's name, and he was referring to him as 'her',.. "

I received her e-mail she had left me a message and he was clearly pronouncing him in a desi style and accent like " Randii " !! lol.

He was the same guy when he saw a bottle of " Muscle-man's apple juice " in the refrigerator and was asking a gora,.. R U a musal-maan / Moslum religion ?

i have a suspicion you are talking about yourself in your early days in Ummrika

[Jagmohan]

Hmmmmm. Gotch' Ya ! - aayina humein dekh kar,... Hairaan sa kyun hai !!

Well,...... Did you also have had, experienced the same, ( apni hi kahaani,.. auron ki Zubaani ! ) then? tell naa ! ( they say,... It takes 1, 2 no da 1 ! )

ना मैं कंगी बनाता हुँ,...... ना मैं चोटी बनाता हूँ !
में आप-बीती को,.... मैं जग-बीती बनाता हूँ !

btw,... few here, are still of the strong opinion that, main kabhi ambeeerika gaya hi nahin hun,. except in my rosy dreams !
Main toh yahaan, bas yahin-kahin bambayi-Ahmedabad ki line pe nivaas kar riyo,... aur bade-bade door ke gappe hi bas laga riyo ! Talk is cheap ! ( - Vodaphone )




So? Make up your mind ! aap-beeti, muj-beeti, tuj-beeti, uus-beeti,.. or Jag-beeti ?? !!

.

[sgars]

Originally Posted by Jagmohan

btw,... few here, are still of the strong opinion that, main kabhi ambeeerika gaya hi nahin hun,. except in my rosy dreams !
Main toh yahaan, bas yahin-kahin bambayi-Ahmedabad ki line pe nivaas kar riyo,... aur bade-bade door ke gappe hi bas laga riyo !
.

At least i believe that you are in Ummrika. You wont own half the internet with the bandwidth that comes in India.

[Jagmohan]

Originally Posted by sgars

At least i believe that you are in Ummrika. You wont own half the internet with the bandwidth that comes in India.

i would say, your 2 cents weigh more, then.

What about the biography v/s auto-biography
in my, narrated incidents and events !