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  #31  
Old June 12th, 2013, 08:57 PM
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echarcha echarcha is offline
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Wink Re: Jokes

Aur ek ...

Quote:
Ek Kuwari Ladki Ko Bachha Ho Gaya.

Premi: “Ye Kaise Ho Gaya?”

Premika Pyar Se: “Jaanu, Jis Raat Tumhe Swapan Dosh Hua Tha To Mere Bluetooth On Tha“
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  #32  
Old June 14th, 2013, 11:15 AM
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Budmaas Budmaas is offline
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Wink Re: Jokes

Ladkiyo ka Pyar 1000 ke note jaisa hota hai..
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hamesha Dar laga rehta hai ki kahin
nakli na nikle..
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  #33  
Old June 14th, 2013, 11:20 AM
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Wink Re: Jokes

Cat:" how old are u ??

Elephant:" 5 yrs..

Cat:" U luk big..

Elephant:" i m a COMPLAN BOY

Cat:" i m 20 yrs

Elephant:" But u luk small
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Cat:" PONDS MIRACLE, BADHTI
UMAR MANO THAM SI JAYE
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  #34  
Old June 14th, 2013, 11:22 AM
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Talking Re: Jokes

This one is for the India and Pakistan match:
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Chillana hai to India india chillana.....

Pak-pak to murgiya bhi karti hai ...
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  #35  
Old June 14th, 2013, 11:25 AM
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Wink Re: Jokes

Wonderful confession by a girl in church
and amazing reply she got

She:i m in love with a boy who is far away from me,
I m in india and he lives in uk We met on marriage website,
Became friends on fb Had long chats on whatsapp
Proposed each other on skype N now 2 months of
relationship through viber I need ur blessings and good
wish oh god...

Guy besides her said: now get married on twitter Have fun on tango
Buy your kids from ebay Send them through gmail And if u r fed up with ur
husband or kids, toh unko OLX pe bech de :

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  #36  
Old June 14th, 2013, 11:37 AM
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Re: Jokes

forwarded by a friend of mine:

Letter written by a husband to his friend seeking advice.
================================================== =======
Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs......... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my motor cycle so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". It was at that moment, crouching behind my motor cycle, that I noticed that the tube from the petrol tank to the carburettor is not fixed tightly and petrol was slightly leaking from the petrol tank.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it to the mechanic shop to set it right?

Regards,
Tom
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  #37  
Old June 14th, 2013, 11:48 AM
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Re: Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
forwarded by a friend of mine:

Letter written by a husband to his friend seeking advice.
================================================== =======
Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs......... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my motor cycle so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". It was at that moment, crouching behind my motor cycle, that I noticed that the tube from the petrol tank to the carburettor is not fixed tightly and petrol was slightly leaking from the petrol tank.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it to the mechanic shop to set it right?

Regards,
Tom
this is an old spoof of those advice columns in newspapers.. like agony aunt.. where the person asking the question is addressed by Agony Aunt as "messed up John" or "poor hubbie".

I recall the reply to this was in proper mechanic terms listing steps..
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  #38  
Old June 14th, 2013, 12:09 PM
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Re: Jokes

एक बार संता और बंता ट्रेन में सफ़र कर रहे होते हैं।

अभी वह अपनी सीट पर आकर बैठे ही होते हैं की संता की नज़र सामने लगी चेतावनी तख्ती पर पड़ती है जिस पर लिखा होता है, "बिना टिकट यात्रा करने वाले यात्री, होशियार।"

तख्ती देख संता अपने साथ ही बैठे हुए बंता से कहता है," बहनचोद क्या कलयुग आ गया है, बिना टिकट यात्रा करने वाले होशियार और हम जो टिकट लेकर यात्रा कर रहे हैं हम क्या चूतिये हैं।
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  #39  
Old June 15th, 2013, 11:34 AM
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Re: Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Budmaas View Post
Cat:" how old are u ??

Elephant:" 5 yrs..

Cat:" U luk big..

Elephant:" i m a COMPLAN BOY

Cat:" i m 20 yrs

Elephant:" But u luk small
.
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Cat:" PONDS MIRACLE, BADHTI
UMAR MANO THAM SI JAYE
Tune joke hi g*** mat di.

Haathi aur cheenti ki shaadi ho gayi.

Chuhe ne haathi se pucha - "tumhara umr kya hai?"
Haathi - "18 saal"
Chuha - "18 saal aur itna bada??"
Haathi - "I'm a Complan boy! (I don't remember)"

Chuha to cheenti - "tumhari umr kya hai??"
Cheenti - "40 years"
Chuha - "itni badi aur phir bhi itni choti??"
Cheenti - "I'm a Ponds girl. Meri twacha se meri umr ka pata hi nahin chalta!"
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  #40  
Old June 17th, 2013, 06:23 AM
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Talking Re: Jokes

Lamba Hai Par Moral Hai

Quote:
Lamba Hai Par Moral Hai

Bandook Singh Ek Kisaan Tha. Uske Paas Side Business Ke Liye 25 Murgiya (Hens) Thee. Aur Un 25 Ko 'Service' Karne Ke Liye Ek Murga (Cock) Jiska Naam 'Thaka Nawaab' Rakha Tha.

Bandook Singh Ne Dekha Ki Murga Boodha Hote Jaa Raha Hai To Usne Ek Jawaan Murga Khareed Laya. Uska Naam Tha 'Launda Jawaan'

Thaka Nawaab:"Aao Jawaan, Ab Hum Sath Saath Kam Karenge Aur 25 Murgiyon Ke Chakke Chudayenge"

Launda Jawaan: "Bilkul Nahi. Mujhe Tumhari Jaroorat Nahi. Main Saari 25 Ko Akele Pel Dunga, Tumhare Liye Ek Bhi Nahin Chodunga!!!"

Yeh Kehkar Launda Jawaan Ek Murgi Ki Or Chal Diya. Tabhi Thake Nawaaz Ne Awaaz Di: "Suno bhai, Ek Shart Lagate Hai. Agar Main Jeeta To Kewal 1 Murgi Mere Liye Chod Dena Warna Tum 25 Ki 25 Ko Thokna. Main Retire Ho Jaunga."

Yeh Sunkar Launda Jawaan Maan Gaya. Shart Ke Anusaar Doosre Din Suraj Nikalte Hi Thake Nawaab Aur Launda Jawaan Murgi Pinjre Ke Paas Mile.

Thaka Nawaab: "Dekho Waha Par Jo Ped Dikh Raha Hai Woh Yaha Se 50 Meter Door Hai. Uske Pehle Jo Chota Ped Hai Woh 10 Meter Par Hai. Main Boodha Hoo To Mujhe To Waha Tak Pehle Bhagne De. Jaise Hi Waha Pahunchu Tu Daudna Shuru Kar. Theek Hai?"

Launda Jawaan Socha Ki Boodha Kitna Bhagega Saala, Main Jawaan Hoon. Saale Ko Hara Hi Dunga Aur Bola: "Chal Budhau, Bhaaag..."

Thake Nawaab Daudne Laga Aur Jaise Hi Chote Ped Ke Paas Pahuncha To Launda Jawaan Uske Peeche Joro Se Daudne Laga. Jaisi Hi Launda Jawaan Thake Nawaab Ke Ekdum Peeche Pahuncha Waise Hi Ek Joro Ki Awaaz Aayi "Dhadaaam".

Bandook Singh Ne Goli ChalayI Aur Launde Jawaan Ko Maar Giraya Aur Gusse Se Badbadaya :"Bhenchod, Ees Hafte Ka Yeh 5va Gud (Homo) Murga Khareed Laya..."

Moral: "You May Be Proud To Have A Bulbous Penis With A Large Head But Thinking Should Be Done With The Head On Your Shoulders"
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  #41  
Old June 17th, 2013, 07:38 AM
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Wink Re: Jokes

A raw veg...but good baby joke...lolzz

Quote:
A Man was Sitting Next To A Woman Who’s Trying To Breast-Feed Her Baby In A Bus. The Baby Refuses To Suck the Breast & The Mother Warns: “If You Don’t Suck, I Shall Give It To The Uncle Next To Me”.

The Baby Still Refuses. After About 20 Minutes, The Woman Repeats The ‘Threat‘.

The Man Clears His Throat & Says: “Look, Madam, You Better Make Up Your Mind . I Was Suppose To Get Off Six Bus-Stops Ago"

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  #42  
Old June 17th, 2013, 09:06 PM
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Post Re: Jokes

PremNath apni biwi Priya se bahut pyar karta tha..

Biwi delivery ke liye hospital gayi to woh doctor ke paas Gaya aur bola "Doctor Saab, jitni takleef meri biwi ko ho rahi hai, main chahta hoon utni takleef mujhe bhi ho jaye."

Doctor ussey delivery room mein le gaya aur uske gotey uski biwi ke haath mein pakda diye.

++++++++

Negro died & went to heaven !

At the Pearly Gates before entering Heaven An Angel Asked Him - "Who r u ??"

Negro - (to impress her) "Hero of
Titanic"

Angel gets confused & asks a friend: "Abey Titanic dooba thaa ki jala tha ?? ..."

++++++++

Santa- Teri aur bhabhi ki jodi to "Ram-Sita" ki jodi hai.

Banta- Kahan yaar!! Na to ye dharti me samati hai, na hi ise koi Raavan le jata hai...!
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  #43  
Old June 18th, 2013, 06:57 AM
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Re: Jokes

good ones cha pai.. especially the first one.
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  #44  
Old June 29th, 2013, 02:08 PM
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Re: Jokes

Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the
other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?"

"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.

"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I
do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll climb into your crib and find
out."

He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly
disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced
with a big grin on his face. "You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy,"
he said proudly.

"You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?"

"It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy, "you've got pink socks and
I've got blue ones."
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  #45  
Old July 3rd, 2013, 04:11 PM
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Re: Jokes

1 Pari ne dekha k 1 Sher 1 Khargosh(rabbit) ka picha kar raha hai.
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Pari ne 2no ko rok kar kaha kagar tum aisa na karo to main tum 2 no ki 3, 3 khuwaishain puri karoongi.
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Sher: mere alawa is jungle k tamaam Sheron ko Sherniya banado.
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Khargosh: 1 helmet chahiye.
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Sher: baraabar waalay jungle k tamam Shero ko Sherniya banado.
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Khargosh: 1 bike de do.
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Sher: sari duniya k Shero ko Sherniya bana do
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Khargosh ne bike start ki helmet pehna aur bola:

"is sher ko Gay bana do"
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