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  #16  
Old June 7th, 2013, 01:12 PM
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Wink Re: Jokes

Dear girls, when a man says "I like kids"

Always understand That he is talking about the "process"



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  #17  
Old June 7th, 2013, 01:18 PM
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  #18  
Old June 7th, 2013, 03:10 PM
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Re: Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by swami View Post
Yaar koi toh jokes post karo,mood is off for the past few weeks




Premi se darne ka nahi bindaas post karne ka



PS:For vulgar ones we have a thread in LM,so only decent ones here,do I need to say please
jokes...happy?
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  #19  
Old June 9th, 2013, 01:14 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Jokes

जिंदगी में एक बात हमेशा याद रखना -

सुन्दर कन्या से शादी करने में और सड़क के किनारे वाले खेत में धनिया बोने में एक ही समानता है : असुरक्षा



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  #20  
Old June 11th, 2013, 04:22 AM
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Wink Re: Jokes

Hmmm ... here ...

Quote:
Ek Ladki Lecture Bunk Kar Ke College Mein Ghum Rahi Thi.

Ek Professor Ne Use Dekha Aur Pucha: “Ye Kya? Chalu Period Mein Ghum Rahi Ho?”

Ladki Ne Sharmate Hue Jawab Diya: “Sir, Ye Soch Hi To Badalni Hai“

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  #21  
Old June 11th, 2013, 04:24 AM
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Talking Re: Jokes

Life Kaisi Honi Chahiye - compilation


Quote:

- Bande ke paas Izzat honi chahiye
Paise to Sunny Leone ke paas bhi hai !

- Climate Rainy hona chahiye!
Sunny toh Leone bhi hai!

- Life mein toh Mazza karna chahiye!
Kaam toh gadha bhi karta hai!

- Music Loud hona chahiye!
Silent toh apna PM bhi hai!

- Global Currency Rupiya hona chahiye!
Dollar toh underwear bhi hai!

- Ladki Sexy honi chahiye!
Sunder toh Jethalal ka Sala bhi hai!

- Salary incremental honi chahiye!
Fix toh IPL bhi hota hai!

- Aadmi ko acha hona chahiye!
BEST toh bus bhi hai!

- Kasab ko Goli maarni thi!
Hang toh mera phone bhi hota hai!

- Dil Bada hone chahiye!
Chota toh Bheem bhi hai!

- Students ko ATKT honi chahiye!
All CLEAR toh shampoo bhi hai!

- Ladki aaj-ki honi chahiye!
Kal-ki toh Kochelin bhi hai!

- Aadmi ko Satisfied hona chahiye!
Khush toh Mogambo bhi hai!


- Biwi ko Heero ka Haar gift karna chahiye!
Sona-Chandi toh Chyawanprash mein bhi hai!

- Insaan mein Jaan honi chahiye!
Bejaan toh Daruwala bhi hai!

- Aadmi ko khush rehna chahiye!
Udaas to Pankaj bhi hai

- Gaane me Sur hona chahiye
Dard to Anu Malik ke gaane ko sun ke bhi hota hai !

- Ladka handsome hona chahiye
Cool to Talcum Powder bhi hota hai !

- Baal majboot hone chahiye
Mulayam to Yadav bhi hai !

- Ladka accha hona chahiye
Smart to Phone bhi hota hai !!!

- Soch sedhi honi chahiyee...
Ulta to tarak mehta ka chasma b hai.

- Joke samajne layk hona chahiye, forward toh DVD player me bhi hota hai

- Group pe chat hona Chahiye...silent to Resort bhi hai

- Watchman khada hona chaiye...
Soya toh Sauce bhi hota hai!!!

- Degree commerce ki honi chahiye, Medical toh stores bhi hote hain

- Girlfriends to Russian honi chayiyee
Asian toh paints bhii hote haii..

- Insaan shaant hona chaiye gambhir toh gautam bhi hai...

- Lund me stamina hona chaiye..
Khada toh nagar sevak bhi hota hai..

- Biscuit to Marie ke hone chahiye
Chutmarike to mere dost bhi hai.


- Ladkiyan foreigner honi chahiye
Local toh mumbai ki trains bhi hai


- Relationship me trust aur pyaar hona chahiye Loyal toh kutte bhi hote hai...

- Girlfriend passionate honi chahiye...
Caring toh nurse b hai!

- Ladki andar se achi honi chahiye.....
Bahari nikhar tho fair n lovely bhi deti hai

- Wife ek best frnd jaisi honi chahiye... Life companion toh Samsung S4 bhi hota hain !!

- Ladka sensitive hona chahiye ... Emotions toh whatsapp me bhi hai

- Ladki Mein Attitude hona chahiye...
Angry Toh Aaj kal birds bhi hote hai

- Air condition cooling dena chahiye ...
Hava tho Lays chips ke packet me bhi hoti hai

- Cable ho toh Tata Sky jaisa ...
Dish toh har ghar ke kitchen me hote he

- Admi ko limit mai rehna chahiye ...
Unlimited toh mera data plan bhi hai

- Cement to pure honi chahiye ...
Strong to apni dosti bhi hai

- Zindagi suljhi hui honi chahiye ...
Uljhe hue toh baal bhi hai !!

- Ladki sweeet honi chaiye ...
Tikhi toh Ramdev Masala ki mirchi bhi hoti hain

- Ladka smart hona chahiye ...
Amir to Mukesh Ambani ka beta bhi hai.

- Ladki me sense of humor hona chahiye ...
SUSHIL toh SHINDE bhi hota hai !!!

- Ladki asli me ladki honi chahiye ...
Mahela toh Jaywardane bhi hai..

- Ball Swing honi chahiye ...
Shiny toh Ahuja bhi hai..

- Ladkiya hamesha khush honi chahiye ...
Kyuki rotdu toh shreeshanth bhi hai

- Bachha Ek hi paida hona chaiye ...
Twins toh tower bhi hai

- Exams me ek baar fail hona chahiye ...
Pass to train ka bhi hai

- Insaan me atma sanman hona chahiye ...
Jaan to aaj kal cement me bhi hai. .

- Paper me news ache aane chahiye ... Article tho hum bhi hai.

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  #22  
Old June 11th, 2013, 04:32 AM
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Wink Re: Jokes

You can never please women

Quote:

A store that sells “New Husbands” has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:


Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:


Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:


Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please!!!

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

(scroll and keep reading!)



PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a “New Wives Store” just across street.

The 1st Floor has wives that listen to men.

The 2nd, 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th floor have never been visited by men

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  #23  
Old June 11th, 2013, 04:34 AM
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Re: Jokes

swamiji .. please dont be upset.. this is such an innocuous conversation within the context

Quote:

Chatri Repairwala Ladki Se-

Uper Ka Kapda Nikalna Padega Or Niche Danda Dalna Padega

Ladki:Jo Karna He Vo Karo,Lekin Pani Ander Nahi Girna Chahiye.....

****Happy MONSOON***
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  #24  
Old June 11th, 2013, 12:16 PM
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Re: Jokes

Non-Cricketer toh Sachin jaisa hona chahiye... Dhoni toh toilet mein bhi hai...

Belt Tight hona chahiye..... Loose to Motion bhi hote hain...
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  #25  
Old June 11th, 2013, 12:48 PM
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Re: Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by swami View Post
Non-Cricketer toh Sachin jaisa hona chahiye... Dhoni toh toilet mein bhi hai...

Belt Tight hona chahiye..... Loose to Motion bhi hote hain...
Jokes toh original post karna chahiye ... C&P toh Premi bhi karta hai.
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  #26  
Old June 11th, 2013, 02:17 PM
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Re: Jokes

Bahut dino ke baad kisi ko kar raha hu


Quote:
Originally Posted by kalidas View Post
Jokes toh original post karna chahiye ... C&P toh Premi bhi karta hai.
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  #27  
Old June 11th, 2013, 06:23 PM
Napolean Napolean is offline
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Re: Jokes

Interviewer: What's your biggest weakness?

Me: Honesty

Interviewer: I don't think it's a weakness

Me: I don't give a damn what you think.
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  #28  
Old June 12th, 2013, 08:54 PM
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Wink Re: Jokes

Pappu again ....

Quote:
Class Mein Teacher Miss Kaameshwari Bachho Se Puchti Hai: “Agar Sincerely Ki Jaye To Is Duniya Mein Sabse Mushkil Job Kiski Hai?”

Pappu: “Madam Ji, Blue Film Ke Cameraman Ki“
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  #29  
Old June 12th, 2013, 08:54 PM
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Smile Re: Jokes

And now Santa

Quote:
Harvard Professor to Santa: "Visions of the Future are Better than Dreams of the Past".... Please explain its meaning with an example......

Santa: "Kal Raat Ke Hangover Ka Na Socho! Aaj Kidhar, Kiske Saath Peeni Hai Yeh Socho!!"
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  #30  
Old June 12th, 2013, 08:55 PM
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Wink Re: Jokes

Test time ...

Quote:
The Alzheimer' s Test

How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

1. _ _NDOM

2. F_ _K

3. P_N_S

4. PU_S_

5. S_X

6. BOO_S

| | | | ¡ | | |
Answers:
1. RANDOM.
2. FORK.
3. PANTS
4. PULSE
5. SIX
6. BOOKS

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you? You do NOT have an Alzheimer' s Problem.

You have solutions in ur head (y)
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