Sorry to say but many Indian men are shameless!

[sanjayt]

Originally Posted by Rakhi

what exactly does that mean?

"Package" was used as a euphemism for the groin. Which man won't feel pain there? The implication is only eunuchs or impotent men won't feel a thing when they see an attractive woman ... something like that.

[Origmos]

http://www.vancouverdesi.com/news/nr...doomed/365294/

In their fight for justice, India’s abandoned brides are no longer alone. Politicians, police and lawyers are now championing their cause.

In Punjab, where some 15,000 victims of fraudulent marriages are believed to live, the most outspoken crusader on their behalf is Balwant Singh Ramoowalia.

Ramoowalia’s Lok Bhalai Party, a state political party concerned with the social welfare of Punjab’s disenfranchised, has taken more than 1,100 abandoned-bride cases to court, or found other paths to justice for the women and their families.

“The phenomenon has become so rampant that it is equivalent to organized crime,” Ramoowalia says in an interview at his bustling headquarters in central Punjab.

Resplendent on a day bed in his cramped “bedroom office” in Ludhiana, the colourful legislator rattles off statistics relating to marriages contracted by NRIs — non-resident Indians, many from Canada.

“Eighty per cent of the marriages to NRI men in Punjab are doomed, with husbands never returning to take their brides,” he says in a booming voice.

Ramoowalia, who took up the cause in 2002, speaks of “holiday wives,” young women whose Canadian husbands return each year to “live as man and wife” as they party in the Punjab.

“He is coming every year, enjoying life with her for two months,” he says. “He never sends for her, never.”

Ramoowalia says that such men must live up to their obligations, or suffer the consequences.

“[The women] have fulfilled all the 10, 15, 20 requirements demanded by you, and you are forfeiting your sacred promise with the girl?” he thunders. “Her virginity is lost — everything is gone. The courts are so slow that a girl of 18 starts in the litigation, she will be old, 35, 40, before anything happens.”

Parents of the victims, he says, are more often than not complicit in the crime.

“There are no laws to catch those guys,” he says. “But we have one option — to have forcible civil possession of the property owned by this man in India — and if the law provides for possible possession of the property of the boys’ parents, that can act as a deterrent.”

Ramoowalia, a former federal minister, has been known to send police to the homes of Indian families to impress upon them the nature of their Canadian kin’s misdeeds.

“We have succeeded in many cases, to get five lahk [$13,500], 10 lahk [$27,000], 20 lahk [$54,000] for the girls,” he says.

Ramoowalia complains that no religious leader has spoken out on behalf of the abandoned brides, who are almost exclusively Sikhs, the faith that dominates in Punjab. And he bemoans the lack of secular will.

“No religious leader, no political leader,” he says. “It’s a very sad state of affairs.”

There is no international law governing marriages, and both India and Canada tend to their own matters of civil law.

But Ramoowalia says fraudulent marriages amount to a crime, and bilateral agreements, including extradition, are necessary.

The party president says it saddens him that women become pariahs in their own villages and towns, where a woman who has lost her virginity is considered damaged goods, not worthy of remarriage.

Rajiv Ahir, senior superintendent of police for Jagraon police district in Punjab, says the issue of bride abandonment is rooted in land.

Acre lots in the region — each worth $15,000 to $20,000 — are passed down to male heirs or sold to finance daughters’ weddings.

A typical family owning three to seven acres dreads the birth of a girl. If the daughter’s eventual wedding is an NRI scam, the family faces possible ruin.

Ahir says the abandoned brides are not just a criminal problem.

“Social respect, social status, mental suffering — these things cannot be measured by the criminal justice system,” he says. “These things you cannot deal with within the walls of the criminal system.”

He favours informal solutions and would prefer “handsome compensation” for victims rather than lengthy, expensive criminal proceedings.

Ahir say he deals with 15 to 20 abandoned-bride cases each month, the majority involving “scoundrels” from Canada.

He believes India needs to invest more in education on the issue.

“I would recommend that we create a separate law — rather than scattered provisions within Indian law — that particularly targets these cases,” he says.

“We need the strongest punishments.”

Meanwhile, he hopes that a “massive public-awareness” campaign he has launched throughout the villages of Jagraon will prevent there being more victims.

“This is a very personal feeling for me,” says Ahir, a 10-year police veteran. “I would say [to young women] they should think twice, thrice, before going abroad. . . . They have a very flowery impression of Canada.”

Varinder Kumar, senior superintendent of police for Fateghar Sahib, a town 90 minutes east of Ludhiana, says he knows of fathers marrying their 22-year-old daughters off to 60-year-old men just to get them into Canada.

“I would say that four or five out of every 10 NRI marriages involves fraud,” he says.

Kumar was previously assistant inspector-general of a police unit created two years ago in the state capital Chandigarh to deal only with NRI cases.

Last year, he launched NRI Radio, an international Punjabi-language call-in program dealing with NRI issues.

It is broadcast in Toronto on Asian Connections Radio, with plans to resume broadcasts on Radio India in Surrey, as well as in Britain.

Kumar wants to make “linkages” with police in Canada to help find men who have fled India with women’s dowries.

He says he will investigate complaints forwarded to him by e-mail at: pbpolicenri@yahoo.co.uk

Punjab lawyer Daljit Kaur also welcomes e-mails on the issue at: advdaljit.1@yahoo.co.in

The activist lawyer is a senior adviser to the women’s wing of Ramoowalia’s Lok Bhalai Party.

“We have organized seminars, awareness campaigns and protest marches,” says the Indian feminist.

“This exploitation of Punjabi girls should be stopped. The problem is here — the solution is somewhere else. Others must help us — laws, extraditions.”

Kaur is enraged by the lack of political will in India to deal with the issue.

“If you want to do something in India effectively, you need pressure. Only then will people listen.”

She agrees with Ramoowalia that the Indian mindset needs resetting when it comes to the role of women in society.

“We are living in the 21st century but I don’t think our mental level has changed so much. We are still backward in woman-related matters.”

Kaur says three generations of Indians are suffering — parents, their daughters and the children of runaway husbands.

“Now it is time for international pressure,” she says. “It is the duty of Canada to also do something. These NRIs are defaming Canada.”

[sanjayt]

Originally Posted by Origmos

Such despicable behavior is not exclusive to Indians localized in India.

Fair enough. Obnoxious behaviour can happen anywhere.

[sonia]

Mouta puri kapre haara


Namaskarrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm

[sanjayt]

Originally Posted by sgars

Probably they were conservative guys who were somehow shocked at seeing a desi woman in the pool and would never imagine their wives in the same position.

This is the best explanation in this whole thread ... not that it is possible to get inside the starer's head.

99% (random figure alert!) of men will stop staring if a woman signals that she is uncomfortable, for instance, by gazing in the starer's general direction.

It's possibly a one-off situation. Anyway, Rakhi will know if she goes a few more times to the pool.

[swami]

I think your random figure alert should be 1%,dont go far just go to Goa and see the men specially from Andhra and Karnataka starring at the goris on the beaches,I have seen the goris abusing them but their dirty stares wont go.

Originally Posted by sanjayt

This is the best explanation in this whole thread ... not that it is possible to get inside the starer's head.

99% (random figure alert!) of men will stop staring if a woman signals that she is uncomfortable, for instance, by gazing in the starer's general direction.

It's possibly a one-off situation. Anyway, Rakhi will know if she goes a few more times to the pool.

[viking]

Originally Posted by sonia

Its okay if a handsome , rich super hot guy stares at you , but usually they do not :sigh:

Very honest!

As far as I know, women will perceive looks from two diffrent guys differently. They will welcome looks from one type of men. I'll explain with pictures.



Look at the men displayed above. 7 out of 10 times young women would not mind looks from the man at the right, needless to say that it's not overdone.
However, like Sonia has mentioned, guys like the one on the right will get their trophy as soon as the woman looks back and they'll move on. That return look
comes fairly easily. They are used to it.Thats style.

However, women will not welcome looks from the guy on the left so easily. They could find that guy hideous to say the least. Typically these are the guys that women complain about!.

Now coming to some cheap cameos here, there are these guys who pass the maximum number of sexual innuendos on EC to feel horny imagining that women must be reading their lustful bullshit. However these same guys are now with extra vigour (or Viagra) espousing a lady's cause here. This is nothing but a cheap gimmick to win some cyber TLC maybe . I will not waste my time answering to such lustful and aged Romeo's.

[sanjayt]

Originally Posted by swami

I think your random figure alert should be 1%,dont go far just go to Goa and see the men specially from Andhra and Karnataka starring at the goris on the beaches,I have seen the goris abusing them but their dirty stares wont go.

You are implying here that 99% men will stare, even if the woman signals that it is making her uncomfortable. Oh, please!

And your numbers don't add up.

You say it's men from AP/Karnataka. How many men from AP/Karnataka are vacationing in Goa? 20% is the upper limit, shall we say? It's probably much lower than that, but let's assume 20%.

Swami, shouldn't you be saying 20% men stare relentlessly, if it is mostly men from two states?

Rakhi, could you give some % figures for the number of unwanted stares you get in general (not just in the pool)? I know it's just your own numbers, but still. Also, please sub-divide into India vs. West. Apart from this discomforting instance, does it happen often? Both in India and the West, if you can give some numbers. Try to make a good guess; they don't have to be "perfect" numbers. Thanks!

[jeetiaf]

Originally Posted by sgars

Not for all. My sister first swam when she was a toddler in our landlord's swimming pool in Chandigarh in early 70's. They had a luxurious house. But ultimately drove us out because of my using walls like a blackboard with pencils.

I think Luxury was not norm then, it is even now, I also used to write with pencil, all over the quarter(for house in IAF) and my ammi will respond in Punjabi style "Marjaane poori dawaar rang ditti aa "

Originally Posted by ungalprasad

Khadds in Pathankot are not that deep to learn swimming

Where you learnt it ?

I left pathankot at the age of 7 months , I learnt in NaniLand in Patiala

Originally Posted by Rakhi

Must have been nice

I was 11 then, it is dangerous in moving stream, kids should not try it unless they are rural rambos like punjabi boys

jeetIAF

[Rakhi]

Viking, so basically this is your conclusion:

1. If the lady is very good looking, then its ok for her to wear a swim suit. But its not OK if she expects that she doesn't need the "stares". Not looking once, I am talking about staring.

2. If the girl is fat and ugly, she has no right to even be in a swim suit and get into the pool. You would then angrily stare at her and its ok to do so.

3. Its OK for a looking looking guy to stare at a looking looking girl, whether she likes it or not. In your opinion, "typically" all girls like stares from good looking guys.

4. Its not OK if a bad looking guy looks at a good looking girl.

And sorry to disappoint you but I havent really noticed if he is good looking, ugly or just average.

I haven't also noticed where he is staring (post 6: I cant believe I was asked that question).

[sonia]

Originally Posted by viking

Very honest!

As far as I know, women will perceive looks from two diffrent guys differently. They will welcome looks from one type of men. I'll explain with pictures.



Look at the men displayed above. 7 out of 10 times young women would not mind looks from the man at the right, needless to say that it's not overdone.
However, like Sonia has mentioned, guys like the one on the right will get their trophy as soon as the woman looks back and they'll move on. That return look
comes fairly easily. They are used to it.Thats style.

However, women will not welcome looks from the guy on the left so easily. They could find that guy hideous to say the least. Typically these are the guys that women complain about!.

Now coming to some cheap cameos here, there are these guys who pass the maximum number of sexual innuendos on EC to feel horny imagining that women must be reading their lustful bullshit. However these same guys are now with extra vigour (or Viagra) espousing a lady's cause here. This is nothing but a cheap gimmick to win some cyber TLC maybe . I will not waste my time answering to such lustful and aged Romeo's.

Thanks
That other guy looks ugly not because he is ugly agar woh decent hota to theek lagta you know what i mean. Parha likha waghara

[Premi]

Originally Posted by Rakhi

I haven't also noticed where he is staring (post 6: I cant believe I was asked that question).

I asked that cos there could be some problem of flashing without knowing... unless you ask the starer what was his problem. I have seen it happening. Mostly after diving. but it happens. Someone like badri will stare at armspits and diplomat... dont ask me.

So as you said ...HE... there was only one person staring and here you posted claiming many Indian men are shameless.

[Premi]

Originally Posted by sonia

Thanks
That other guy looks ugly not because he is ugly agar woh decent hota to theek lagta you know what i mean. Parha likha waghara

He did his schooling from Vidyaranya High School, Hyderabad, following which he completed his Intermediate (+2) from St. Mary College, Hyderabad.

He is film star, playback singer and accomplished Kuchipudi dancer and was nominated for 26 awards, of which he won 16.

That's his education and experience.

[sonia]

Its not just looks alone, you need to have a personality too.
Some people are very okay looking but they win hearts and are liked by everyone , why? A very fine example will be of SRK ... I mean to be very honest he is a very (normal) looking guy but he is ruling Indian industry.

[Premi]

Originally Posted by sonia

Its not just looks alone, you need to have a personality too.
Some people are very okay looking but they win hearts and are liked by everyone , why? A very fine example will be of SRK ... I mean to be very honest he is a very (normal) looking guy but he is ruling Indian industry.

Unless you know about him or talk to him, if he is just staring then he is just a shameless Indian man. right??