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Films Your pet peeves and raves about new releases

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Old March 1st, 2012, 05:49 AM
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Ashdoc's movie reviews you missed again

The woman in black---

In the 19th century came the novel ''The woman in white '' and in the twenty first century comes the movie '' The woman in black '' , and predictibly its a horror movie---horror movies being the favoured flavour of the 21st century as much as suspense novels were of the 19th......

But as if in tribute to '' The woman in white '' , there is a considerable amount of suspense mixed with the horror too......

And to lift the lid off the suspense comes the hero---Daniel Radcliffe---from London to a small English village , as a representative of a law firm sent to handle the sale of a remote house situated in a marsh .

His sheer presence in the village is unwelcome to the villagers , as he discovers.....and his trip to the remote house is even more unwelcome.....

.......For the house has been struck by tragedy , as he learns , and anyone who goes into the house is liable to encounter a mysterious woman in black there , who brings revenge-laced tragedy in the village anytime anyone sees her.......

Dismissing this stuff as superstition , he goes to the house alone---only to be confronted by the sight of that very woman , and also a series of mysterious happenings......

Now I myself dont believe in ghosts , but I wouldn't dare go to such a remote house alone , and certainly woudn't dare to stay a full night alone there---especially after encountering such dreadful happenings......

But nothing's gonna stop our intrepid hero---after he hears every mysterious sound , he actually follows it ; after he sees a terrifying sight or sees a shadow , he lights a candle and goes after it.......
What would have left us breaking out in cold sweat actually rouses the curiosity of this young man as he searches the whole house going deeper and deeper into the mystery......

.......And as strange happenings and piercing sounds emanate in the ghost ridden house , we are left squirming in our seats cursing the hero for having the chutzpah to wander in such a terror inspiring place and increasing our blood pressure , when if confronted with such a situation we would have taken to our heels at the first opportunity.......

But our hero's daring does pay off---though at terrifying cost as his sighting of the woman in black sets off more tragedies in the village . But he thinks he discovers a way of ending these tragedies as he gets what the woman in black wants for herself......

So does the hero succeed in his self-appointed mission to save the village ?? Go and watch the movie for that---it does give you some real jitters along the way......

But the ending is a tragic and a disappointing one---one is left wondering why the woman in black was not less rentless in her pursuit of revenge than she was , and why she was so cruel.....
Why didnt she have some more womanly qualities ??---That of mercy , that of forgiveness......
Or maybe that was the mistake of the film's director.....

Verdict---inspite of the flaws , its still a good one.....
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Last edited by ashdoc; March 1st, 2012 at 05:51 AM.
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Old March 1st, 2012, 05:50 AM
ashdoc ashdoc is online now
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Re: Ashdoc's movie reviews you missed again

Question mark---

Welcome to the expectation of a long boring sunday morning on which you have nothing to do except sleep.....

.......But how to go to sleep on sunday mornings ?? Simple..... Remain sleepless on saturday nights !!

But how to spend a long saturday night sleepless when the drinking companions have abandoned you for a weekend.....??

Simple.....spend the night jittery with fear after seeing a good horror movie preferably at night show to increase the fear....

Thats what I did....

So I am here writing this review hoping to quake in my boots as the night gets deeper and deeper and it gets more chilly and eerie.....

So whats the movie ??

Its nothing but our desi version of Paranormal activity suitably adapted for Indian audiences......

These films are cheap to make because of new actors who take hardly any money as pay , have no costly foreign locations and do not even have any costly sets---and thus deliver more bang for the buck , earning quick profits with least investment on whatever meagre run they have at the box office .

But while the original '' Paranormal activity '' relied upon subtle sound effects and an eerie quiet in between to create the tension , this film is for the primitive and presumably illiterate Indian audience.....

And keeping this audience in mind , the film is loud , garish and relies on creating a lot of noise in its attempt to create fear in the mind of dimwit desi......

And yeah , typically for the desi audience whose intelligence quotient is supposed to be low , there is the ubiquitous '' possessed woman '' spinning her head round and round and making shrieking noises all the while .

In fact , like a typical desi spirit , the spirit attacks women more of the time , and some of the actions they make while being '' possessed '' make you think that as usual the desi ghost is some lusty rapist who is raping them......but you soon realise it isn't raping them but only is in their bodies......no , not the way you think ( naughty , like a typical desi ) but only controlling their bodily actions .

And yeah , there are some guys too , in fact more in number than girls , and all of them have come to a remote bunglow in some remote hilly region to film a low budget film.....

The mornings are full of mist in these mountains , but its the darkness thats more scary.....

For the spirit comes to full action in the evenings.....

Just like Paranormal activity , the film is filmed by video camera , which has a night mode to keep on at night......

And none of the people who have gone to the mountains are going to make it alive.....

The film really comes alive after the interval , and one by one all the young people are affected by the spirit which resides in the house.....

......And their attempt to escape from there comes a cropper as they mysteriously lose the keys of their jeep which is their only way to get out of this place which is remote and has no contact with civilization and no other means of transport.....

......And so they know there is no escape from here or from death.....they only have to wait.....

......while we wait for the movie to end.....the end of our audiovisual torture.....

Verdict---not good .
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Last edited by ashdoc; March 1st, 2012 at 05:54 AM.
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Old March 1st, 2012, 05:53 AM
ashdoc ashdoc is online now
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Re: Ashdoc's movie reviews you missed again

My week with Marilyn---

Review of my hour and half with Marilyn.....oh , i mean the hour and half I spent watching the film.....

Ahhh , to be young.....

And to fall in love.....

And to fall in love with Marilyn Monroe---thats the stuff that celluloid dreams are made of......

And what if you get to live your dream.....---if only for a week.....

That would certainly make your day....err week, wouldn't it ?

Well , one young man really got to live this dream......

A dream which he has shared with all of us---a dream which he would but naturally share with us , considering the amount of moolah he would get for sharing his dream , especially if a film is made on it

Sshh.....dont break my spiel of romance with such practical matters......

Instead , lets talk about the hour and a half I spent.....err , the week the hero of the film spent with who else but Marilyn Monroe.......

He's Colin Clarke , a young man of 23 , who's a mighty thiiiiiird assistant director to Sir Lawrence Olivier , who's going to star in and simultaneously direct a film with Marilyn---'' The prince and the showgirl ''.

And the job of the mighty third assistant director of the film is to do the job of running errands for the film's director ; you may as well call him spotboy.....

And the wife of Sir Lawrence Olivier , actress Vivien Leigh has selected Colin for keeping an eye on Lawrence ; for she's getting older and she figures that Lawrence might want to screw Marilyn by the time the film is over.....

But actually its Marilyn who screws Lawrence , in a different way than one would expect---she keeps him waiting hours and hours on the sets as she arrives late for shooting , and forces retakes and retakes to be taken as she loses confidence while shooting , totally delaying the film : welcome to the moods tempers and tantrums of the world's biggest megastar......

And Colin the mighty third assistant director gets to watch the life of a great film star at close quarters as the shooting progresses...

Any other person would be satisfied with this alone.....

But Colin's luck is on a high.....and as they say in hindi , when bhagwan gives , he gives chhappar phad ke.....

Marilyn actually takes a liking to him , and much to the chagrin of her production owner , decides to romance the much younger Colin though only for a week....

And she needs him at night , when she has a bout of depression.....

And she needs him more , when she is in a cheerful mood during the day......

And the people around her need him even more , in order to calm her down when she is popping too many pills.....

And she takes Colin skinny dipping , where he gets to watch her nudity in all its glory and then kiss her in that state....

And she takes him for a romantic walk in an old castle.....

......and then for a walk in his old school......

.......and for shopping.....

And wherever she goes she's at the receiving end of mass adulation from common people---an adulation she handles with charm and aplomb.....

But she's a child really , with her insecurities about her acting talent which need constant reassurance from the people around her , and her need to be loved like a normal girl rather than a film star.....

She's at her vulnerable best as she opens her heart out to Colin , talking about the childhood she spent in other people's homes and her adopting dead president Abraham Lincoln as her father because she never known her real one.....

Enough to make a 23 year old young man fall head over heels in love with her......and evoke pathos in our hearts for the loneliness of her existence.....

But its all a dream thats gonna last only one week.....

.....A week which the young man will cherish all his life.....

......And an hour and half I will cherish too.....

Thank you for all the pleasurable moments , Marilyn.....

The film is made all the better by the superlative acting performances of the cast , and they are all so good that it is difficult to say who has acted better.....

Verdict---oh , I loved her.....err , I mean the film.....
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