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Friday Special Tickle your funny bone...

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  #31  
Old March 12th, 2008, 03:45 PM
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Talking Re: 2008 Joke Thread

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her Grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl.

The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl became frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her secret, the young girl said that some people were giving out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma, "I think Ill have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But, youre so old, how do you do it?"

Grandma replied," Oh, its quite easy sonny, I just remove my dentures and suck em dry."
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  #32  
Old April 4th, 2008, 10:20 AM
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Re: 2008 Joke Thread

So an American man is wondering around Mexico and begins to wonder what time it is. The American spots a Mexican man having a siesta and decides to wake the Mexican. The American man asks, "Senor, do you know what time it is?" The Mexican man looks to a donkey beside him, places his hand on the donkey's balls and lifts them up for a second, then releases the donkey's balls. The Mexican replies, "It's about 3:45." The American is flipping out at this time and asks the Mexican in amazement, "How the hell did you do that, man!?" The Mexican looks at him, slightly irritated and responds, "I place my hand on the donkey's balls, lift, and look at the clock on the wall."
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  #33  
Old April 4th, 2008, 10:21 AM
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Re: 2008 Joke Thread

A Texan on vacation walks into an Irish pub. He stands at the bar and makes a loud declaration:

"We love drinking in Texas, and I'd say we're the best in the world at it. However, I keep hearing you Irish boys think you're the best, so I've got a little wager for you."

The Texan slaps 2 hundred dollar bills down on the bar and yells, "Barkeep! I want you to put out 100 shots of whiskey!"

The bartender complies, and once the shots are lined up, the Texan slaps down 2 more bills and says "I'll give this to anyone who can drink all of these shots in one go."

The pub is silent for a moment, then one man runs outside and down the street. The Texan starts laughing and taunting the pub's patrons about their lack of courage to accept his challenge. Finally the man who had run out returned, walked straight up to the bar without saying a word, drank all 100 shots, and snatched up the money.

The Texan, amazed asked "Why'd you run away if you could do it that easy, boy?!"

To which the Irish man replied "Well, I didn't want to embarrass myself, so I ran to the pub next door to make sure I could do it first!"
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  #34  
Old April 4th, 2008, 12:18 PM
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Wink Re: 2008 Joke Thread

Open up & say Aaah:

http://ishare.rediff.com/filevideo.php?id=143862
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  #35  
Old April 6th, 2008, 12:23 AM
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Re: 2008 Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sane Less
I saw a billboard that said:

Need help? Call Jesus.
1-800-005-3787



Out of curiosity I did just that . . . . . .
A Mexican showed up with a tow truck.
Same guy ?

Jesus
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  #36  
Old April 6th, 2008, 05:49 PM
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Re: 2008 Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by dirty
Same guy ?

Jesus
Ha ha... no... unluckily, it turned out to be a different guy... lot's of philosophers down there with the name of Jesus
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  #37  
Old April 7th, 2008, 10:41 AM
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Re: 2008 Joke Thread

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
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  #38  
Old April 7th, 2008, 10:41 AM
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Re: 2008 Joke Thread

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.
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  #39  
Old April 7th, 2008, 10:42 AM
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Re: 2008 Joke Thread

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.
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