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Old June 8th, 2002, 06:47 AM
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nandini nandini is offline
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:


You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened
by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights
to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns
eight cows, with an option on one more.

Sell one cow to buy new president
of the United States, leaving you with
nine cows. No balance sheet provided
with the release.
The public buys your bull.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force
the other to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when
the cow drops dead.


A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike
because you want three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk. You then create
clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon
and market them World-Wide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and
learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn
you have 42 cows. You count
them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and
open another bottle of vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.
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Old June 8th, 2002, 01:27 PM
yme yme is offline
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