Fowarded...Jokes.!

[AmthaLal]

Call Girl (to 68 years old man): "Uncle,
aap ek baar try karo na!"

Uncle: "Main KAR nahi paaunga."

Call Girl: "Arre, aao na uncle, try to karo!"

Uncle aa gaye aur callgirl pe toot pade aur uski almost faad dali.

Call Girl: Haaye mar gayi. Aap to bol rahe the-
"kar nahi paaunga"

Uncle: "Wo to main PAYMENT ke baare me bol raha tha.

[AmthaLal]

Girl Friend: I demand gud manners in bed, just like at the dinner table ...

Sardar climbs into bed slowly & says: Honey, would you pass the boobs please??

[AmthaLal]

Boyfriend1:- can i touch your boobs
Girlfriend1 :- Shut up!!!!
Boyfriend2 :- can i touch ur heartbeats
Girlfriend2 :- ooooh!! how sweet!!

Rishta wahi soch nai

[AmthaLal]

Kuware sochte hai k shadishuda ache h
Shadishuda sochte hai k kuware ache h
Fark sirf itna hai ki Shadishuda din m sochte hai or kuware raat ko...

[Aneeta]

Soch badlo, Desh badlega


Rand aur Vaisya mein kya farak hai ?
Rand, South Africa ki Currency hai & Vaisya, SriLankan Bank hai.


===


Baanchhod aur Ch**tia mein kya fark hai ?

Baanchh*d is an Architect in Mumbai

Ch**tia is a SBI bank branch somehwere in Raanchi.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&b...56l156l0.1l1l0

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&...23.XUxEPkniq-M


==


‎1 train me Katrina without ticket travel kr rhi thi..
.
.
Usne saree pehni thi..
T.T. Ne usse 100 rs fine liye..

&

Aiswarya ne jeans pehni thi,
usse 75 rs fine liye..
.
&
.
Karina ne skirt pehni thi,

usse 50 rs fine liye..
.
.
Par MALIKA se kuch nai liya..
.
Why.. ??
Q ki... Uske pas ticket tha soch
badlo desh badlega...

===

[Aneeta]

Karan Johar to become a father. Doctors advice Shahrukh Khan bed rest for 6 weeks. Both are different news, but I like the way you think.

-----------

All Khans 'Partner's' names starts with 'K'....
Saif - Kareena
Salman - Katrina
Aamir - Kiran Rao
Shahrukh - Karan Johar.
__________________
Sometimes it's easier to smile and pretend you're happy instead of trying to explain why you're not..




बोलीवुड की अभिनेत्री जिया खान ने आत्महत्या की.

में नि:शब्द हूँ.

रिप - RIP




Wife : "Naari" Ka Matlab Kya Hai?
Husband : Naari Ka Matlab Hai Shakti.
Wife : To Phir Purush Ka Matlab Kya Hai?
Husband : 'Sahan Shakti'




This is not a joke, but still a joke like funny.

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I AGREE

[swami]

Santa's e-banking password was:
"ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal"

Banta: Yaar! Itna lamba password?
Santa: Kya karoon. Bank wale kehte hai ki password main 5 character, 1 capital aur ek special character zaroori hai

[swami]

Couple silent in Bed.
Wife,thinks Why is he not talking to me ?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Is he seeing someone ?
Dont I appeal to him anymore ?
Are wrinkles showing on my face ?
Is he trying to dump me ?
Have I put on weight at the wrong place ?
Does my make up repel him these days ?
Is he upset with my nagging? Why?

Husband thinks,Why the hell did Dhoni send Yuvraj to bat ?

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Originally Posted by swami

Husband thinks,Why the hell did Dhoni send Yuvraj to bat ?

saala sahi me yaar.. fixed match lagta hai.. why would a team bat that way in finals? better to get 150/8 than 130/4.. Raina didn't even get a chance to bat. When will we have a bowler who can bowl yorkers, Umesh Yadav turned out to be a disappointment.

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Money has different names !!!

In church it's called (offering) ,
in marriage it's called (brideprice ) ,
in divorce (alimony),
when u owe someone (debt ) ,
when u pay the government (tax),
in court (fines),
gov't to retirees (pension)
boss to workers (salary),
master to subordinates (wages),
children (maintenance),
when u borrow from bank (loan),
when u offer after a service (tip)
and
.
.
when it is robbed
its called CONGRESS.

[Sane Less]

Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan

Money has different names !!!

In church it's called (offering) ,
in marriage it's called (brideprice ) ,
.
.
.
when it is robbed
its called CONGRESS.

Bhagwan ke saikdo naam

[sarv_shaktimaan]

few more..

whoops whenever I type Robert Vadra, my phone changes it to robber Vadra


Hearing Rahul Gandhi talk about Toffees and Balloons, I wont be surprised if he plays with LEGOs at his home! #Pappu


Bal Narendra used to play with crocodiles.

Hah! Big deal!

Bal Rahul still plays with crocodiles named Digvijay Singh and Kapil Sibal

[swami]

Anyone wants to share/exchange jokes/videos/audios/LM materials on whatsapp with me ?
Click here

[Charchila]

Originally Posted by swami

Anyone wants to share/exchange jokes/videos/audios/LM materials on whatsapp with me ?
Click here

I clicked, did you get it?

[echarcha]

Mumbai got its Metro train....


And half of zoppadpatti walas are wondering that "Itna uppar chaddh ke track pe hugne kaun jayega..."