"Dead from inside"

[PeaceSeeker]

Have you ever got that feeling? Ever had one/few/several experiences in life which r bad enough to give that feeling?

Once while getting into a philosophical discussion with colleagues at work, I was somewhat surprised when many others shared that feeling.

I did not start that discussion.

But the words which came out from a colleague were exactly those. And no one else denied it as such. Basically the colleague said that one has got to dead from inside in order to to be able to live. The discussion navigated though almost everything including love, sex, trust, god, corruption, politics etc etc.

They said:
"The only way to live is just be happy in the moment, have no expectations whatsoever, do not feel bad about ANYTHING (at all), believe in serendipity but do not hold your breath for it" etc etc.

Is that true?

Is that not way too unrealistic?

Is that not like lying to yourself?

Should one lie to oneself in order to be happy?

Can one really be happy by lying to oneself?

How to be happy when there r more questions and less answers? Or only questions and no answers?

Genuine answers please (at least some of them).

[kkkk]

1 answer - Ignorance is bliss.

[Diplomat]

"The only way to live is just be happy in the moment, have no expectations whatsoever, do not feel bad about ANYTHING (at all), believe in serendipity but do not hold your breath for it"

My wife lives a life like that....

[PeaceSeeker]

Originally Posted by Diplomat

My wife lives a life like that....

and u find it unreal? difficult to live like that? is she an echan?

[PeaceSeeker]

Originally Posted by kkkk

1 answer - Ignorance is bliss.

true. but one cannot feign ignorance to oneself. what u have seen/experienced, u cannot just wish it away.

[Diplomat]

"The only way to live is just be happy in the moment, have no expectations whatsoever, do not feel bad about ANYTHING (at all), believe in serendipity but do not hold your breath for it"

Originally Posted by PeaceSeeker

and u find it unreal? difficult to live like that? is she an echan?

She is not an echan.
However, she just lives the moment. If she is happy, everyone is happy. If she is in pain at a given moment, she will abuse anybody who caused that painful moment, be it her dad, mom, my mom, her brother,our kids, relatives, etc. And then it is all over. She does not carry it with her that she just abused somebody verbally. She will sit down and have dinner with that person, go watch a movie....

[Dead On Arrival]

Originally Posted by Diplomat

She is not an echan.
However, she just lives the moment. If she is happy, everyone is happy. If she is in pain at a given moment, she will abuse anybody who caused that painful moment, be it her dad, mom, my mom, her brother,our kids, relatives, etc. And then it is all over. She does not carry it with her that she just abused somebody verbally. She will sit down and have dinner with that person, go watch a movie....

I think thats a great way to live!

[PeaceSeeker]

Originally Posted by Diplomat

She is not an echan.
However, she just lives the moment. If she is happy, everyone is happy. If she is in pain at a given moment, she will abuse anybody who caused that painful moment, be it her dad, mom, my mom, her brother,our kids, relatives, etc. And then it is all over. She does not carry it with her that she just abused somebody verbally. She will sit down and have dinner with that person, go watch a movie....

thats gr8 way to live. except that tit-4-tat then-n-there is not possible everytime (& with everyone). ppl & situations cab be very tricky.
i guess the world (orient & des in particular) is not an easy place for intelligent emotional ppl.

[Diplomat]

The people who do that in our orient and our Des are called Political leaders.

[Mallu Rider]

Gandhiji . . .

Simplicity.


Everything else bs.

[Origmos]

You might find happiness if you accept to live life for the moment. We just got to accept that the universe is our sworn enemy and will do anything to deny you that.

I learnt a few simple rules:

Do not expect past success when the going is good for you : : Life always has a way of surprising you especially in matters what shall fail you. So a good thing would be is to accept only those good things that which has already happened to you. All those good things which could potentially happen to you might never happen because the universe may decide so otherwise. So the basic rule is enjoy the good things that happened so far and try not to get disappointed with future results.

Expect failure when the going is bad in general. : Life is quite a challenge to everyone and it is especially more so when you are an Indian in India. We all had failures and successes in life, so the only rule here is to expect more of the same in terms of the general environment. It is probably not even our own fault, we probably covered every base we could within the realm of human possibility, we gave the best and it is many times simply not enough. In these circumstances, the only thing we can do is move on and quit blaming ourselves for this. In these cases, failure is probably a situation built into the universe itself and none of us can fight it. The best path here is to disassociate yourself from the failure. Accept you did your best and stop blaming yourself.

Get ready to be disappointed with anyone and everyone. No human being is sacred and especially a living person. No matter, how much of a saint a person appears to be to us, remember he/she is still human. If you put anyone on a pedestal, it will come to bite you severely. Acknowledge this and do not have false expectations from/about anyone no matter how well you think you know them. Everyone is flawed and its just some people are clever enough to hide it longer than others or not show it in most things in life. False expectations have damaged many relationships, we all are just human.

Nothing lasts forever. Never assume that certain things will last forever no matter how perfect they might appear right now. The universe has a way of making sure you will always be disappointed. The thing that you hope will last forever might someday may not be the thing you knew in the first place.

Pride Learn to swallow this by yourself. Throughout your life you will be forced to do things against your own will and ego. Either you will learn to do exactly this or suffer.

The above list is not exhaustive, but I hope it provides a nice perspective of the misery we call our living.

[sanjayt]

Originally Posted by PeaceSeeker

"The only way to live is just be happy in the moment, have no expectations whatsoever, do not feel bad about ANYTHING (at all), believe in serendipity but do not hold your breath for it"

I try this out occasionally; it doesn't seem to work for me.

Like all good advice, it's easy to dole out, but hard to actually do.

[sanjayt]

Originally Posted by Diplomat

She is not an echan.
However, she just lives the moment. If she is happy, everyone is happy. If she is in pain at a given moment, she will abuse anybody who caused that painful moment, be it her dad, mom, my mom, her brother,our kids, relatives, etc. And then it is all over. She does not carry it with her that she just abused somebody verbally. She will sit down and have dinner with that person, go watch a movie....

So your spouse is the kind of person who calls a spade a bloody shovel, but you, Sir, are a diplomat.

[Dead On Arrival]

Originally Posted by sanjayt

So your spouse is the kind of person who calls a spade a bloody shovel, but you, Sir, are a diplomat.

Hahahaaaa!!!!! Niiice! I like that!!!

[PeaceSeeker]

Originally Posted by sanjayt

I try this out occasionally; it doesn't seem to work for me.

Like all good advice, it's easy to dole out, but hard to actually do.

if followed in spirit, the advice itself equips you to follow it effectively.
basically, it tells you to not fret over not being able to follow it completely. just try to follow it. improve. dont feel bad about not being able to do it. have no deadlines or measures for measuring ur success rate. live, dont feel bad, keep going, be happy, keep trying, just put bad things in your blind spot etc.

Originally Posted by sanjayt

So your spouse is the kind of person who calls a spade a bloody shovel, but you, Sir, are a diplomat.

Originally Posted by Dead On Arrival

Hahahaaaa!!!!! Niiice! I like that!!!

me too. repped.