Suggest a title, and .. uh .. um... review

[raniraja]

The noise inside me stops
as you whisper
A poetry in stone emerges
as you sculpt me endlessly
Was it pain or meaningless happiness
that you chiseled away

A million flowers bloom- and I smell of
as the salt of your skin nourishes me
The scars within me heal
as you assault
Reborn is my fragmented soul
every time you dismember me

[Mallu Rider]

A Sex Odyssey - The Subtle Way*

*to be read like hindi movie titles, e.g., Prince - its show time; or Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai - Mumbai Goes Rewind

[swami]

:confused: :bouncer: :bulb: :bouncer:


The noise inside me stops


as you whisper
A poetry in stone emerges
as you sculpt me endlessly
Was it pain or meaningless happiness
that you chiseled away

A million flowers bloom- and I smell of
as the salt of your skin nourishes me
The scars within me heal
as you assault
Reborn is my fragmented soul

every time you dismember me

[Pratiksha]

The noise inside me stops
as you whisper
A poetry in stone emerges
as you sculpt me endlessly
Was it pain or meaningless happiness
that you chiseled away

A million flowers bloom- and I smell of
as the salt of your skin nourishes me
The scars within me heal
as you assault
Reborn is my fragmented soul
every time you dismember me


Midas Touch- sadim touch unwound

[echarcha]

Damn.. Google is fast! I mean they are fast at indexing our site.. Check this out... first result (http://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGLS_enUS291US303&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=Reborn+is+my+fragmented+soul&qscrl=1)!!

[Premi]

Damn.. Google is fast! I mean they are fast at indexing our site.. Check this out... first result (http://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGLS_enUS291US303&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=Reborn+is+my+fragmented+soul&qscrl=1)!!


:smash:

why you were searching words from rani's poem on google... :cool:

[echarcha]

:smash:

why you were searching words from rani's poem on google... :cool:
I thought they were lyrics to some ballad or some song by a rock band.

[Premi]

I thought they were lyrics to some ballad or some song by a rock band.

then may be its time to rep rani pai for his creation. If it is his own.

[kkkk]

"Salim Langde pe mat ro"

Prabho, mahan ho. sahi hai ekdam. reminds me of the movie Passion of the Christ - pata nahi kyon.

The noise inside me stops

as you whisper
A poetry in stone emerges
as you sculpt me endlessly
Was it pain or meaningless happiness
that you chiseled away

A million flowers bloom- and I smell of
as the salt of your skin nourishes me
The scars within me heal
as you assault
Reborn is my fragmented soul

every time you dismember me

[raniraja]

Damn.. Google is fast! I mean they are fast at indexing our site.. Check this out... first result (http://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGLS_enUS291US303&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=Reborn+is+my+fragmented+soul&qscrl=1)!!

:smash:

why you were searching words from rani's poem on google... :cool:

I thought they were lyrics to some ballad or some song by a rock band.

"Salim Langde pe mat ro"

Prabho, mahan ho. sahi hai ekdam. reminds me of the movie Passion of the Christ - pata nahi kyon.

Thanks for the rave reviews guys :D

then may be its time to rep rani pai for his creation. If it is his own.Thank you, Premi praji. Not my creation though. I found it somewhere, loved it but thought the title wasn't good enough. I am still trying to think up a title good enough for the body of the poem.

[YedaAnna]

Is he making you or breaking you dude? The scars were about to heal and bam, he dismembered you?

[raniraja]

Is he making you or breaking you dude? The scars were about to heal and bam, he dismembered you?
Aah.. seems like the poem isn't as much of a bouncer !!! The message does get across. Thanks again for the review. I'll collect the reps on behalf of the poet :D

[YedaAnna]

Aah.. seems like the poem isn't as much of a bouncer !!! The message does get across. Thanks again for the review. I'll collect the reps on behalf of the poet :D
can you also tell, on behalf of the poet of course, what is the moral of the ishtory? :D

[raniraja]

can you also tell, on behalf of the poet of course, what is the moral of the ishtory? :DIf he permits, of course. I guess he will get to reading this thread sometime tomorrow :D

PS: poetry is open to guests, isn't it? :dontknow:

[YedaAnna]

If he permits, of course. I guess he will get to reading this thread sometime tomorrow :D

PS: poetry is open to guests, isn't it? :dontknow:
only if it is good.

[28virgo]

The noise inside me stops
as you whisper
A poetry in stone emerges
as you sculpt me endlessly
Was it pain or meaningless happiness
that you chiseled away

A million flowers bloom- and I smell of
as the salt of your skin nourishes me
The scars within me heal
as you assault
Reborn is my fragmented soul
every time you dismember me


RR Pai, yeh kya hai? is this dude a metaphysical poet? :D

ab is poem ko kya title dein?

"Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" ? :D

[raniraja]

RR Pai, yeh kya hai? is this dude a metaphysical poet? :D

ab is poem ko kya title dein?

"Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" ? :D
I think that title is taken already. I want to suggest :

"Is dil ke tukde hazaar huye"

Kaisa hai? Koi angreji equivalent bolo.

[chitrala]

I think that title is taken already. I want to suggest :

"Is dil ke tukde hazaar huye"

Kaisa hai? Koi angreji equivalent bolo.
I would have called it "Galatea".

[28virgo]

i would have called it "galatea".


ग़लती ? :d

[chitrala]

ग़लती ? :d
:D... in fact it was...wasn't it?

[raniraja]

ग़लती ? :d

:D... in fact it was...wasn't it?
:rotfl: :rotfl: :D :D :rep:

[swami]

just a poem about time and healing I came across somewhere on the net a few years ago.


And a quote I came across today..



Maybe its time to close this thread.

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them.;)


:smartass:

[krantikari]

Thanks for the rave reviews guys :D

Thank you, Premi praji. Not my creation though. I found it somewhere, loved it but thought the title wasn't good enough. I am still trying to think up a title good enough for the body of the poem.

And I thought this was some kind of a riddle and was trying to solve it.... Damn you should have given a proper title to the thread. :D

[raniraja]

And I thought this was some kind of a riddle and was trying to solve it.... Damn you should have given a proper title to the thread. :DOk.. then suggest a title for the thread :D :flip: