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View Full Version : The first night (suhaag raat): Your take?


echarcha
December 7th, 2000, 02:23 PM
I know this is a personal question and you may not like to share all details. Offcourse 'those' details are not wanted here ;)

What I wanted to know is your emotions about how do you as a man or a woman look at the first night? Our Hindi films and tales of yore have always glorified 'suhaag raat' to such a macho height that if a groom does not 'do it' on the first night then he is not 'mard' enough. I speak from knowledge of experiences of some college students in my engineering course who got married early as it was normal in Uttar Pradesh and Bihar to get married while studying.

They used to brag about their suhaag raats a lot. Is it just a regional thing?

For sake of discussion assume that you are not married: Would you like to 'do it' on the first night just because its supposed to be like that?

Even if you are married in reality, do share whatever you can.

If you are married but are given a chance again, would you do what you did on your first night?

phaedrus
December 7th, 2000, 08:47 PM
umm...my take wud be that concept of first night is pretty much outdated atleast in the urban areas....pre-marital sex or general fukin around are rendering it into oblivion..
But it is sure as hell bloody amusing...first of all the hoopla in the function and the first nite..he he imagine...not only the couple knows they are gonna do it...and its public knowledge :D a lil corny IMO

smartganduinuk
December 8th, 2000, 04:06 AM
Hahaha,
Thats right phaedrus, perfectly. One of my friend got married, the reception was on the same day and would I say they were tired.... In the morning they had the marriage, and for 4 and a half hours they were standing at the reception, had their dinner at 30 mins past midnight and we friends left them in their room at 3am. No wonder my friend told me that both of them slept in 5 mins. hee hee. But there isnt much craze nowadays about this "first night" as they call it. The real night is the second night;)

jay
December 8th, 2000, 05:08 AM
smartgunuinuk's point is correct.

phaedrus opinion may not be shared by the majority

The question is a good ...

I hope some married person gives a frank opinion on this column..

I used to ask this question to many of my friends and a majority of them dint have sex on the first night. From what I gathered from my friends is that even if you accomplish it on the first night it is to be remembered for the flaws commited you can always look back at it and laugh. The second night is the best remembered for it's sensual experiences and the pleasure itgives. The reason is simple, by then you know the person you are fucking, better. you are not fucking then, you are having sex.

I remember my brother had his back fully scratched on the third morning. Obviously, they were not fighting..

smartganduinuk
December 8th, 2000, 10:23 AM
I am married Jay, and the incident happened to one of my Best friend. Even if you try to have it in the first night, you wont really enjoy it, because nowadays the marriages are conducted in such a hurry that you are nothing but tired, mentally as well as physically.

gaand_me_le_le_guldasta
December 8th, 2000, 02:04 PM
IMHO -
1. For a number of years the Hindi film industry dosed our repressed society with scenes of the "typical" suhaag raat. Hero lifts veil.. herione looks down. Offscreen, we teenagers have erections like boulders. The girls are (surely) creaming...
... very good for public excitement + box office moolah...

2. Yes, one would definitely be tired to do the Pierce Brosnan thing on the suhaag raat.

3. Love marriages : sensible thing to do would be to together savor the moment. I bet it would be an emotional moment when the two of you are alone.

4. Arranged marraiges : However much I love sex. Getting to know the girl well enough before hitting the sack will 100% make it a better experience. If the couple is not dozing off already ( with the tiredness, I mean here), then talking can be good.

5. Either ways, its a milestone. Being yourself and not feeling any kind of pressure to play any "roles" may work out best.

6. Guys,if you are urban and expecting the hymen break... shivery pain/ stained bedsheet ...thing, the first time. Forget it. She'll probably be judging your prowess.So get some practice.

!! Hey can I change my signature to "Been there, done that.." . No I'm not married.

echarcha
December 8th, 2000, 02:12 PM
Hey gand_mein_le...

Just wondering if your login name is in anyway connected to your sexual preferences ;) Just kidding..

Welcome aboard eCharcha.Com

gaand_me_le_le_guldasta
December 8th, 2000, 03:02 PM
Hi Sutradhar. I spilled over from the overly exciting "gandmasti.com" and decided to retain the id.
No, I go for women only. ( hey... women.. write to me.....!!!)
Connotations for the id in my case being distinctly non-Freudian ( rather , non-Oscar Wilde'an...).

Literally, I offer a boquet of fragrant flowers to all Kundalinis. Aakhir desi hoon, source of all lifeforce lying at that sensitve region that non-euphemists like to call the Gaand.
(remember , anger : "gaand maar doonga" ; pain :"gaad lag gayi" ; fear :" gaand fat li...")

But, we digress....

I am straight.

aryaputra
December 8th, 2000, 06:27 PM
and it is very much like doing it becuase the world is expecting you to do it. Great Expectations.

Since we are on a "Sexy" topic, let me ask one question that has me wondering:

Why do men put their Dicks in their undees in different fashion? I have observed men put it pointing down, pointing up, pointing sideways too!

I put it pointing down since I guess gravity does the job easily. But why do some put it pointing up?
For what purpose?

krantikari
December 9th, 2000, 05:33 AM
I wonder if she will let me keep the lights switched on? Hay! all ye married fellows, advise me, how do I make sure that we keep the lights on? I am sure she would insist on switching the lights off. So I am more keen on the first day... than the first night.... :)

I am more interested in watching than doing... I wonder what it will be like... more I wonder, happier I get. :)

One of my friends told me that it usually is a flop show as both don't know how to proceed. Is it true? Then I better start practicing ;)

aryaputra
December 9th, 2000, 01:28 PM
Why are you interested in doing you first night in broad daylight?

Possible causes:
1.
Is your would-be wife so dark that you cannot see her in a dark room?

2.
You are so dark your wife would not know who fucked her!

3.
You want to be sure where you are puting your penis (certainly not the asshole on the first night!)


per my sexual experiences with my wife, I find a dimly lit room more exciting than a tubelight since you can be sure that you do not make any of the above mistakes and also preserve the decency of the occassion!

Make sure you two have taken a bath and are neat and clean. Also use a neat and clean bedroom. Also make sure you have the blinds down or we would also be enjoying the show!

By the way, if you want to make sure that you do not end up putting the penis into her asshole on the first night, try and go through some good sites.

Suggestion:

Read the book: A New View of a Woman's Body
Copyright 1981, The Federation of Feminist Women's Health Centers
Illustrated By: Suzann Gage, L Ac, RNC, NP
ISBN 0-9629945-0-2 Pbk.
Available from Barnes & Noble $19.95US

echarcha
December 9th, 2000, 05:10 PM
When I was in engineering college, some of my class mates and other college students were from UP and Bihar.

These folks were so sensistive about the whole thing. They always thought and vowed to have sex on the very first night! Some of them used a very crass terminology akin to some Hindi films - "Suhhag raat hoti hee hai biwi ki nath utarne ke liye"

I dont say that all UP and Bihar folks are like that, but these guys were very sure what they were going to do on their first night. I used to ask some of them, what about knowing your wife.. making friends with her? Most of them said, that sicne they would be married what was the big deal about friendship and knowing, etc..

Man.. I just heard them out... some of their tales of the supposedly aphrodisiac "palaang-tod" paan.

When I marry, I dont know what I will do, but I am sure that the ceremony and the sheer pressures of the wedding would not allow for much energy to get into a right mood. Also, I would rather make my wife very comfortable and be friends first. Suhaag raat ke kaam ke liye to saari jindagi padi hain...jaldbaazee main koi maaja nahin...

just my 2 cents!

jay
December 10th, 2000, 12:03 AM
Although it is wavering from the real topic, I would like
to add a few lines....

I go against gravity, It is a matter of habit developed since childhood. One more reasons may be that on top there is no obstructions to growing length( Confession : I used to have erections quite early on)

anouther reason not to follow gravity is "lamba ho jayega tho apni gand mar jayegi"... jus' jokin'

However we are deviating from the original topic, lets hope to have some more and detailed entries from experienced married men/women... I am getting married this febr.. any and all experiences would be helpful..

***If any females happen to visit do write what is a females view/experience on this***


jay

jay
December 10th, 2000, 12:16 AM
Arya Putra's question was why do some people keep penis pointing to the ground and some others towards the sky..

echarcha
December 11th, 2000, 01:03 PM
Just wanted to focus on non-Paki stuff so I replied here.. Gosh, some folks can raqnt on and on about their stupid beleifs and bore the hell out of users...

So people, whats the general concensus? Is sex on the second night better than the first night? Do you like the lights on? ;)

aryaputra
December 11th, 2000, 05:59 PM
know what?
the first night me and my wife did not sleep together in a bed!
|
|
|
|
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We were in a bus trying to get back home all night!
So, for us, it was the second night that really counted (in a Welcomgroup hotel overlooking the pool)

By the way, our room had lights with dimmer switch, but the best part was:


There was a swinging bed too!

landyaBhai
May 16th, 2007, 03:59 PM
tum sab logo ki saadi ho gayeli hai aur ab hum logo ka number hai ... toh kripya kuch vishesh tippaniyaan yaha bhi ...:rotfl:

ShivSainik
May 16th, 2007, 04:35 PM
First night....hmmm...nice memories :D

It depends on individual preferences landya. Din bhar shadi ke riti-riwaj me G fat jati hai. So talking and taking rest is more important (that way you can enojy your honeymoon more considering honeymoon is right after marriage). Waise if you BOTH have energy then THAT thing is always nice to do :D

tantric_yogi
May 16th, 2007, 04:38 PM
tum sab logo ki saadi ho gayeli hai aur ab hum logo ka number hai ... toh kripya kuch vishesh tippaniyaan yaha bhi ...:rotfl:

Landyabhai ... sex on first night or 2nd is striclty a matter of personal urgencies. But I do have a word of advise to your friend. Do you recall having mentioned a friend who wishes to give his wife gift of vrginity?

Well ... Landyabhai please tell your friend his gift is more like a curse to poor woman. 30 years of holding back can and does result in months of frustrating SHEEGRAPATAN. Your friend must start sharpening his pencil and skills. That is what his wife will appreciate. She will love him for the gift of pleasure and happiness ... but hate him for months of SHEEGRAPATAN.

ShivSainik
May 16th, 2007, 04:46 PM
30 years of holding back can and does result in months of frustrating SHEEGRAPATAN. Your friend must start sharpening his pencil and skills. That is what his wife will appreciate. She will love him for the gift of pleasure and happiness ... but hate him for months of SHEEGRAPATAN.

:rotfl:

Agree compltely. First couple of times its ATI-SHIGRAPATAN :D

Tantu ji pencil sharpen kaise ki jaye ye bhi to bataye landya ko.....Dont give him half knowledge. Half knowledge is worse than no knowledge.

compukid
May 16th, 2007, 05:21 PM
I would recommened that we shud not blame hindi movies for the first nite thing.
Cmon man, they are tryin to tell u that the hero and heroine have banged each other now. If they showed you day 1 ..they slept...day 2 they had sex etc..etc...we would complain abt the length of the movie..;)
as it is they try and compress a 20-30 years in a few movies. Showin 1 nite of experiences is a achievement in itself ;)


IMHO -
1. For a number of years the Hindi film industry dosed our repressed society with scenes of the "typical" suhaag raat. Hero lifts veil.. herione looks down. Offscreen, we teenagers have erections like boulders. The girls are (surely) creaming...
... very good for public excitement + box office moolah...

2. Yes,

landyaBhai
May 16th, 2007, 06:26 PM
Landyabhai ... sex on first night or 2nd is striclty a matter of personal urgencies. But I do have a word of advise to your friend. Do you recall having mentioned a friend who wishes to give his wife gift of vrginity?

Well ... Landyabhai please tell your friend his gift is more like a curse to poor woman. 30 years of holding back can and does result in months of frustrating SHEEGRAPATAN. Your friend must start sharpening his pencil and skills. That is what his wife will appreciate. She will love him for the gift of pleasure and happiness ... but hate him for months of SHEEGRAPATAN.

Yogiji, kayko ghareeb brahmachari ko aap dara rahe hai ... mein toh sirf pyaar dhoond raha hoon ... koi mujhe sirf pal bhar keyy liye pyar kar ley ...

tantric_yogi
May 16th, 2007, 06:40 PM
Yogiji, kayko ghareeb brahmachari ko aap dara rahe hai ... mein toh sirf pyaar dhoond raha hoon ... koi mujhe sirf pal bhar keyy liye pyar kar ley ...

Brother ... mei be to pyaar mohabat kee baat kiye? BhaYa ... you better have a serious talk with your friend cause if his idea of PYAAR is keeping her awake all night to have philosophical discussions of PRTANJALI, Rajnish and HRHK ... please tell him to take pity upon poor woman ... not get married. :D

Just kidding Landyabhai ...


Bye and bye the way ... how is it going between you and that new member ANURAGHAbai ... she is head over heel in love with you ... last time I read her post.