Some thoughts for parents

[smellyfinger]

PARENTAL OBSERVATIONS

- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the
morning.

- A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

- A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

- A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on
the world have nothing to do with tires.

- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

- Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your
children.

- Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your
nursing home.

- God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at
once.

- Having children is like having a bowling alley installed
in your brain.

- Having children will turn you into your parents.

- If a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he
looks like a neighbor, that's environment.

- If you have trouble getting your children's attention,
just sit down and look comfortable.

- It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to
educate his father.

- It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when
they'll know as little as their parents.

- Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in
touch.

- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given
birth.

- One child is often not enough, but two children can be far
too many.

- You can learn many things from children... like how much
patience you have.

- Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that
teachers are grossly underpaid.

- The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the
volume knob also turns to the left.

- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to
chop wood to keep the television set going.

- Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

[Super Girl]

Good one, smelly

All true!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Super Girl]

I just couldn¹t resist passing along this e-mail joke along, which I
found particularly funny on one of those day where I feel like I¹m
responsible for it all:

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?

6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks.

Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes.

There is no access to fast food.

Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.

The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

There is only one TV between them and there is no remote.

They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a. m., make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas. The kids vote them off based on performance.

The winner gets to go back to his job.

[GpeL]

- You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have



How appropriate...

[Super Girl]

Ravi,

read mine. I thinks we posted at the same time. any comments? :D :D

[Big-G]

Few more...

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. -Erma Bombeck

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves alot of expense and aggravation later in life. -Robert Byrne

The hardest people to convince they are at retirement age are children at bedtime. -Shannon Fife

Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children. -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. -Harold Hulbert

The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent. -Mel Lazarus

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. -Fran Lebowitz (Love this one :D)

Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. -Roger Lewin

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. -P. J. O'Rourke

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of their tires. -Dorothy Parker

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. - John Plomp

Some of my best friedns are children. In fact, all of my best friends are children. -J. D. Salinger

I love my kids, but I would not want any of them for friends. -Janet Sorensen

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. -Bill Vaughan

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Late children are early orphans.

[Super Girl]

I like this one :D :D

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

[GpeL]

Good idea for survivor.. I would really really watch that one.. cos till now I did not watch that show..

[Super Girl]

isn't worth watching... At least I think so...

[smellyfinger]

Why is it that kids dont know their nose and eyes from their mouths, but know exactly which button turns off a TV or a computer ??

HAYN??

[supada]

what a nice thread...
i am just back after playing with my 5 months old daughter during lunch time.

[Big-G]

ANother observation...

The small ones (whose heads are at the level of your privates), whenever they punch or butt their head, they always hit you at the exact spot below the belt. (ouch)

My personal experience.

[Super Girl]

yep. Right on, bhaiyya.

And if they are skinny, they always jump on you guys WWF style, with their pointy elbows hitting you at you know where.. :D :D

[smellyfinger]

G,

one learns to always keep the "gate" closed around little children.

This is done by bringing the knees together and squeezing the thighs. It is now a reflex action for me. If a kid raises his/her arm, the "gate" closes before I even have time to think about it. Better safe than very sorry (and doubled over in pain) :D :D

[GpeL]

smelly.. you wont believe.. My kid first learnt the alphabet www (yes world wide web) and whenever my wife asked her where is daddy she would reply www (meaning I was on the computer).. and she was, are you ready for this? 1year old.

Your question is correct.. she has crashed my linux box atleast a hazaar times..

[dirty]

And why do they get up exactly at 2:30 AM, then wander out of their room and then go to sleep exactly between you & your wife ??
Regarding that survivor show , SG I would like to be a kid on that show.

[dirty]

Yup I agree with smelly I have been punched couple of time by my 2 yr old , right on the spot. & if u ask him what's he is doing he would say ' dishum dishum masti'
Once he kicked my with his shoes on boom.

[Sheena]

its really nice thread,

i am always wondering how the my nephew knows every shaitaani with out any teacher .

One more good thing he teaches us now adays,for example;

my brother use kameena word frequently,now my nephew started with him "kameeta" kahan hai.