The IRS

[Cooldude]

IRS Audit

The IRS called in a man for an audit. So, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: "Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie."

Confused, the man went to his Minister, told him of the conflicting advice, and asked him what he should do.

"Let me tell you a story," replied the Minister. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck and wool socks."
But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice: "Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.'"

The man protested: "But Reverend, what does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"

The minister dourly replied "No matter what you wear; you're going to get screwed." :(

[Cooldude]

Timely Help

One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!"

A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his hands around the boy's gonads and squeezed.

Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened.

"Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are you a paramedic?"

"No," replied the man. "I work for the IRS."

[Cooldude]

Flags

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.

"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."

"That's the same with us," the American said, "Only we see stars, too."

[rameshp]

good ones :rotfl: :rotfl: :D :up: cooldude