who's the decision maker in your home? Man should always be the commander.

[Jaanbaaz]

who has the upper hand in your married life? you or your wife?

i think man should always be the commander (no war this :D)
unity of command assures success of team - miya biwi ke team:smash:

[laal_langot]

Man is the commander and woman is the defence/home minister.....both keep ordering but theres nobody followers maybe thats why they produce children.....

[Netra]

I happen to be the PM, defence minister, commander-in-chief, home miniser, law minister, finance minister. My hubby is the President (Indian style).

[Jaanbaaz]

phir YOU are the MAN of the house :D

btw is it by mutual consent that he's relinquished these traditionally man's rights or did you nag him too much

[nandini]

is jaanbaaz the new name of gandesh , the stupidity is unmistakably gandesh's
btw where is BIG G and Gandesh these days
is gandesh looking for a washing machine

[Jaanbaaz]

Originally posted by nandini
is jaanbaaz the new name of gandesh , the stupidity is unmistakably gandesh's
btw where is BIG G and Gandesh these days
is gandesh looking for a washing machine

are you sane?

and what is stupid in my post?

if both fight for equality then there is no effective decision making

and men are always better in this area

history had proved this

women are emotional and cannot think rationally

plus they always want to spend on clothes n stuff ..fools

[nandini]

phir ek aur aa gaya mera khoon badhaane... ROFL
LOL LOL LOL:smash: :smash: :smash: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :D :D

[Jaanbaaz]

don't laugh unecessarily

tell me can yopu manage a home by yourself?

[nandini]

saale hamein to bata de sharma mat tere ko daaru phokat ki milti hai chadaane ko

[Jaanbaaz]

daaru mey bohat interested hey aap.

aisee ladki mereko pasand hey :D

vaisey mey apne pese ka daru pita hu ..kisi aur se kya matlab?

reply to my q

[calmncool]

Originally posted by Jaanbaaz

reply to my q

beta, don't expect females to reply your post just because u order them to, u are not the commander of this place. btw, bahagvan bachae if ure the commander of anything besides your own home, sabko marvayega...

[Netra]

Originally posted by Jaanbaaz
phir YOU are the MAN of the house :D

btw is it by mutual consent that he's relinquished these traditionally man's rights or did you nag him too much

Yes I am the man of the house. Yes you could say it is mutual consent. It wasn't so in the beginning of our marriage, but little by little I started taking charge and he didn't mind. Actually he appreciates it. But don't think this is a dream situation. This means that I have to do everything at home including looking after the financial as well as the cooking side. When the sabzi is cooking, I am filling up the tax forms for example.

No I didn't nag. Men don't nag. Women do. I just happen to have a more forceful personality than he has. That's all.

[calmncool]

Originally posted by Netra

No I didn't nag. Men don't nag. Women do. I just happen to have a more forceful personality than he has. That's all.

Arre Netraji, yeh kya? Are u implying that by defintion a woman nags and a man does not? and to manage taxes and sabzis together u need to transform into a man?

[Netra]

Nahi bhai calmncool, it was a mistake of nature that I was born a woman. My attitude is more like a man than a woman and this is right from the time I was a child. To give you a few examples: I rarely cry, I am a born fighter, I am not sensitive or touchy. In fact I am not even maternal (my poor kids). At my place, it is my husband who does puja. I frequently tell my hubby that he should have been born a woman and I a man. Like I said earlier: nature's mistake.

[calmncool]

hello!!!!!! abhi to aap males ko bhi discriminate karne lage. Arre kisne kaha ki sirf females hi puja kar sakte hai? Aur female hone ka matlab yeh to nahi ki u need to be sensitive and touchy or have to cry at all times or cannot be a good fighter? Bus kya -- aise artificial boundaries mat bandho - apni senorita aka robinhood ko dekho!

[Netra]

Isiliye to senohood aur meri itni jamti hain. Of course as you say we can't generalise, but when I see most of my female friends they fall in the category I mentioned. Also if you see hindi films, most of the women are shown carrying out the morning puja and singing loris and shedding tears at the slightest provocation. My daughters keep on telling me that their friends' mothers are very serious women and don't go joking around like I do. However if they want to go for a film or go out with friends, they ask me because I rarely say no and my hubby rarely says yes.

[calmncool]

Indian phillums ko to aadat hai, fundamentalist Indian Nari dikhane ki. Phillum ke bar kabhi dekhe ho aisi buddhdhu females? My sis is also ekdam terrific girl. Goes for mountain climbing, is an sports administraor et al - and all this in her spare time - she is also a dentist. Yeh sub mcp uske saamne aae ko unko naani yaad aa jaegi.

[Netra]

To phir uski aur meri bhi khoob jamegi. You see when we are invited to an Indian party, I hate to stay with women who are either discussing clothes or jewelry or other people. Much to the chagrin of my other-half, I prefer to sit out with men who are talking current affairs or finance.

[calmncool]

aisa lagta hai ki women in india are more advanced than those in Switzerland. Mai jo bhi parties mein jaata hun, ppl of either sex are discussing technical and current affairs stuff - or is just generation ka phaasla???

:D:D:D:D

[Netra]

Maybe it is generation ka phaansla or just that there is nothing to discuss about Switzerland. A very beautiful but boring country. Very little crime so you cant discuss that and hardly any politics. Now that you mention, when I go to India, its true that everybody is discussing current affairs or just doing "bhunkas". That's why everytime my brother or mother write or speak to me about a function they attended in India, I feel really sad that I can't take part in these functions.

I also noticed that most of the people of my generation want to stay here and don't want to go back to India.

[Robinhood]

Originally posted by Netra


I just happen to have a more forceful personality than he has. That's all.

therein lies the key to this issue or does it?

the fact being that one of the two persons in a matrimonial alliance is naturally a leader and a more pragmatic person - a better decision taker if you like - so what I propose is if and when an issue presents itself that needs to be dealt with on a joint level both partners should give their inputs and in case of dissent the pros and cons of the different solutions analysed and then the decision ought to be taken by the leader - whether it be the husband or the wife.

is that too simplistic or idealistic??

does this also translate into the less forceful partner being relegated into the background a bit too often?

or does each situation in marital life warrant individual attention without designating consciously or unconsciously one of the two as the ultimate decision-taker??

[risingsun]

to sidhi saadhi hindi mein agar mein aapki baatein samjha raha hoon to aap ye chahte hai ki har mudde par pure ghar mein soch vichar kiya jaye phir uspe matdaan kiya jaaye phir ghar ke mukhiya dwara aakhri manjuri di jaye, ghar ko aap mantralay banane ki baat kar rahe hai? koi pyar se kisi baat par jhagadna ruthna, manana, ye sab gaya bhaad mein, koi matbhed ho; karo matdaan sunao faisla.... aise pariwar ka sadasya nahi rahna chahoonga mai.

ya phir kisi shehenshaah ki saltunat bana dena chahte hai aap ghar ko, naam ke liye matdaan aakhri faisla shehenshah ka? to ghar ka doosra ang shehenshah ki agyaon ka paalan kare? aisa pariwar aapko hi mubarak ho.

mai to vo pariwar chahoonga jaha agar do bartan ho to vo aapas mein khanke, pyar, ruthna, gumna, phir baat karna phir ek doosre ke liye kuchh apne man ki baat daba ke vo chahe vo karna (lekin hamesha doosre se dabne ki apeksha na karna)

[Netra]

Originally posted by Robinhood


therein lies the key to this issue or does it? Yes it does

the fact being that one of the two persons in a matrimonial alliance is naturally a leader and a more pragmatic person - a better decision taker if you like - so what I propose is if and when an issue presents itself that needs to be dealt with on a joint level both partners should give their inputs and in case of dissent the pros and cons of the different solutions analysed and then the decision ought to be taken by the leader - whether it be the husband or the wife.
It doesn't happen that way at my place. My hubby is a person who can be easily convinced. There are pros and cons to this. If I say something, he thinks I am right, but if his sister for example (who is fortunately not here) says the opposite, he thinks she is right. On the other hand take the case of my brother. At his place he rules and his wife obeys. However she will not obey her parents if they told her the opposite. She will stick to the opinion of my brother. She thinks that he can never be wrong.

is that too simplistic or idealistic?? Cant say.

does this also translate into the less forceful partner being relegated into the background a bit too often? Yes, it does

or does each situation in marital life warrant individual attention without designating consciously or unconsciously one of the two as the ultimate decision-taker?? Would be an ideal situation

[Robinhood]

chadhte-bete

baat dar-asal practical problems ki ho rahee thee aur aap personal muddey beech mein ley aaye.

ama yaar equal to dono hain hi aur ye maan ke bhi chalo ki doosre ke feelings ke pratee senistive bhi hain magar bhaiya jab koi aisa matter aagay saamne jismein vakai significant influence ho sakta hai aapki life pe to phir bhaiyya ismein kya karengey aap?
rozmarra ki zindagee mein to chuhal , chedchadd , takrar ,pyaar
etc chalta hi hai.haan ek baat tumhari bilkul theek hai ki ruthna-manana is part of the game aur kabhi kabhi apnee iccha ko dabake apne partner ki ichha ko poora karna ye bhi hona hi chahiye.

humne to kuch raste sujhaye they aur poocha tha aisa ho sakta hai kya.

[Netra]

Robin, one good way to solve a conflicting issue is to toss a coin. Once when he wanted something and I didn't and neither of us wanted to budge, I suggested a toss. He tossed the coin and won. I told him it wasn't a fair toss, so he tossed again and won again. This happened at least ten times until he realised my intention. So the tossing stopped and we got down to business.

[laal_langot]

How about a boxing match??

[Netra]

Between my husband and myself? Haan, that he will win without problem. I must admit that I have a lot of courage but not much strength. And with my back problem, won't be able to dodge the blows.

[laal_langot]

Didnt specify the rules....unke dono haath baandh ke...

[Netra]

To phir unfair match hua na langotji.

Talking about boxing, once when I was about 7 years old my dad had bought boxing gloves and arranged a dual between my cousin (male) who is 7 months younger to me and myself. We were more or less equal in weight and height. My dad was sure I would win but my cousin started punching my face and at the same time saying dhishum dhishum (watching Hindi films) and within 30 seconds I had lost the match much to my dad's dissapointment.

That's when I realised that I could never equal a man in strength.

[Robinhood]

Netra ,

there's something called barit-su . try getting hold of an instructor in geneva . It's easy and a month's training would see you more than prepared for a CQC (close quarters combat) with non-military persons.
trouble is it whets your libido a lot :D

:D :D :D

now THAT would be the real problem for your husband

:D

[laal_langot]

How about kabaddi then???Waise Netaji bolo to main aapko information deta hoon saari on bodybuilding...in fact uss se you could win even before the match....because the first tip is ghar ke members are the most effective weights to use....

[Netra]

Originally posted by Robinhood
Netra ,

trouble is it whets your libido a lot :D

:D :D :D

now THAT would be the real problem for your husband

:D

On the other hand he will be more than happy. My lack of appetite is his main concern.

[Robinhood]

humein to ghabrahat hone lagee hai...shadee karte samaya poochna padega bhagyavaan aap aage chalkar rati-kreeda mein ruchi kho baithee to kya aap mujhe idhar-udhar apne pankh phailane dengee.

[Netra]

Why not? Pourquoi pas? If a person doesn't get enough food at home what's wrong if he eats out in a restaurant? OK, people, start throwing jutte at me. Sometimes I get this crazy craving for getting my butt-kicked, that's why I make such statements.

Kabhi kabhi problem yeh hoti hain ki kucch logon ki appetite zaroorat se zyada hoti hain aur woh sochte hain ki apne partner lacking in appetite hain. It is the way you look at things.

[Robinhood]

netra
wish i get somebody like you.
:D

[laal_langot]

Sahi baat hai Netaji bilkull sahi baat....agar aap jaisi patni sabb ko mile to munni ka dhaaba will be the next big thing after dot coms...

[Jaanbaaz]

sex kidar se laya bich mey

sala sabka dimak mey sex ka gobar hey

tabhi mey bola ki man should be supreme

yahaan bohat 'liberated' view ka log hey na sala pseudo modernists ...kiya hey...idar bona asan hey..jab apne upar ayega
tab dekhega mai ki kitna log yahee bolta hey...

[Netra]

Originally posted by Jaanbaaz

yahaan bohat 'liberated' view ka log hey na sala pseudo modernists ...kiya hey...idar bona asan hey..jab apne upar ayega
tab dekhega mai ki kitna log yahee bolta hey...

Jaani, hum pseudo-modernist nahin hain balki hamare attitude ka reason hain ke hum bilkul possessive nahin hain. Lenese dene mein zyada mazaa aata hain. Baki bahut sari faults hain mujhme jaise ke "give a shit" attitude to life etc. etc. lekin possessiveness is not one of them. The advantage of this non-possessive attitude is dard bahut kam hota hain. Jo hamara hain hi nahi, uske liye kya rona!

[Jaanbaaz]

Originally posted by Netra


Jaani, hum pseudo-modernist nahin hain balki hamare attitude ka reason hain ke hum bilkul possessive nahin hain. Lenese dene mein zyada mazaa aata hain. Baki bahut sari faults hain mujhme jaise ke "give a shit" attitude to life etc. etc. lekin possessiveness is not one of them. The advantage of this non-possessive attitude is dard bahut kam hota hain. Jo hamara hain hi nahi, uske liye kya rona!

aye kiya karrey auntie aap

mey coffee bana rahe hey aur aap usmey namak / mirch dal rey hey

aapne wo picchure dekha - BAGHI - salman khan ka

o picchure mey aapko heroine rehna chaiye- arrey baap re aap to bohat alag type ka insaan hey


veer bhagat singh :smash: :smash:

[Super Girl]

This is a very subjective issue. Each relationship is different.

No one needs to be really in command as you said jaanbaaz. Reading your posts I get a feeling that Gandesh has been coaching you.

In my house, very frankly, it is all dependent of who has the inclination to do the job. For eg. i hate dealing with finances, so on a higher level my hubby takes care of all aspects, but the day day finances is in my hand.. why? becuase my husbad feels that I should learn everyhting there is to learn about it. Leave alone the fact that I hate the stock market, I still need to keep abreast with it. My husband hates dealing with any customer service issues so I end up doing all that too. Sometimes he is so into work related issues working 18-20 hour days, that I just do things without bothering him. Frankly it gives me a lot of leeway in selections and I enjoy it.

Other than that I am all the ministries of my house. My husband hates to deal with anything that requires some effort nor does he have the inclination. It does get a little bothersome and tiring because I end up doing everything. We do get into scuffles about it but in the end as I always say it is my family and house and so I do it no matter what the situation.

Having a understanding husband makes a lot of difference and I am luck to have one who insists that I be as independent as possible (on a selfish level, it means he doesn't need to do anything he doesn't like :D :D :D)

[Big-G]

Originally posted by Jaanbaaz
who has the upper hand in your married life? you or your wife?

i think man should always be the commander (no war this :D)
unity of command assures success of team - miya biwi ke team:smash:

heheheh :D :D
saalaa, ghar pey biwi ki sandal kha-kha key ganja ho gaya...aur idhar internet pey commander ban raha hai !!! when will these insecure, frustrated wimps, stop using the net to play paper tigers???

bhai jaanbaaz, tu idhar commander ban key jaan ki baazi laga raha hai, aur udhar teri gharwaali, doodh waaley bhaiyye jee key saath kho-kho khel rahi hogi :D :D

[Jaanbaaz]

Originally posted by Big-G


heheheh :D :D
saalaa, ghar pey biwi ki sandal kha-kha key ganja ho gaya...aur idhar internet pey commander ban raha hai !!! when will these insecure, frustrated wimps, stop using the net to play paper tigers???

bhai jaanbaaz, tu idhar commander ban key jaan ki baazi laga raha hai, aur udhar teri gharwaali, doodh waaley bhaiyye jee key saath kho-kho khel rahi hogi :D :D

aye khali pili bhunkus chalu kiye

aye HIJRA bhaya tu senti mat ho...tu apna post mey galt bole to mey uspe jawab diya...tu kaikoo khali pili tension generate karte apne mind mein...left right post karte phir rahe kidar kidar bee..

cool ho ja HIJRA :smash: :smash:

[Big-G]

Originally posted by Jaanbaaz


aye khali pili bhunkus chalu kiye

aye HIJRA bhaya tu senti mat ho...tu apna post mey galt bole to mey uspe jawab diya...tu kaikoo khali pili tension generate karte apne mind mein...left right post karte phir rahe kidar kidar bee..

cool ho ja HIJRA
You forgot "Yours sincerely" again :)

(pucca hyderbad/AP ka product dikhta hai.... :) SAP/PeopleSoft key naam pey do-teen lakh rupiye dekey US mein ghusa hai.... baad mein Java ya phir testing mein line change ki hai.... aur idhar internet pey Jaanbaaz hai.... kasam sey yaar, ab toh hasi bhi nahin aati.. don't mind, haan!! )

[Jaanbaaz]

Originally posted by Big-G


Yours Sincerely
HIJRA BIG-G


arrey badey jotshee bhaya tu to...mere bare mey kitna predict kiye arrey baap rey...tera biwi bola kiya tereko mere bare mey :D :D :D

[aryaputra]

well, if you are intelligent(shrewd) enough, make your spouse feel that she/he is in charge while it is you who are really calling the shots.

case in point -> George W. Bush and Dick Chenney.

Who is the president? and who is in charge?

and who gets to relax the most ;)

[laal_langot]

Arya pahji is the second part of the first name and the first bit of the second name indicators of who does what???

[aryaputra]

ho ho ho!!

you sure do have an eye ;)

I earn, she spends !!

never occurred to me who the BOSS is ???

[echarcha]

and I have the permission of my wife to say so! :D :D

[Netra]

Sunitji, Aap to e-charcha pe rule karte hain. Ghar pe to Shamji ka rule chalne dijiye.

[Indian]

Originally posted by Big-G

(pucca hyderbad/AP ka product dikhta hai.... :) SAP/PeopleSoft key naam pey do-teen lakh rupiye dekey US mein ghusa hai.... baad mein Java ya phir testing mein line change ki hai.... aur idhar internet pey Jaanbaaz hai.... kasam sey yaar, ab toh hasi bhi nahin aati.. don't mind, haan!! )

WHAT A SAD STATE OF AFFAIRs !!!
hmm ..cant help it :(

[Jaanbaaz]

man is great
woman is secondary
man is king
woman is slave

[calmncool]

Originally posted by Jaanbaaz

__________________
Main zindagee ka saath nibhata chala gaya.
Har fiqr ko dhuein mein udaaata chala gaya.


Abe oo janbaaz, tu pehle apne family ka saath theek tarah se nibha.. uske baad zindagi ka saath nibhane ke khwab dekh...

[laal_langot]

Thandaraam bhaiya lagta hai mausam ka taqaaza kuchh garma garam hai....

[calmncool]

red diaper bhaiyya kya karu,

yeah 'lamp' and auri ke bachche....inse hum hamara 'pound of flesh' lekar hi rahege...

[Jaanbaaz]

Originally posted by calmncool


Abe oo janbaaz, tu pehle apne family ka saath theek tarah se nibha.. uske baad zindagi ka saath nibhane ke khwab dekh...

abee mey single hey
shadee hoyega phir bee aisa rahega

biwi second-in-command
apun ghar ka malik rahega

tu log sala darpok chuua..pigs
jhoot bee bolte tu log
sala sab man mey sochte ki mai ghar mey top pe rahega
aur idar aake sale dikhane ke liye impression marte ki mey equal rakhega sab kuch

[tantric_yogi]

RAISINGBUN, love you, my goof fd. it turns out I am A DICKHEAD.:D

[risingsun]

Originally posted by tantric_yogi
RAISINGSUN
DUE TO YOUR NON STOP IDIOTIC PM's I HAVE TO DISABLE MY PM FACILITY. WHATEVER YOUR PROBLEMS ARE SAY IT HERE AND GET IT OVER WITH. I AM NOT HERE TO ENTER IN TO IDIOTIC CORRESPONDENCE WITH A DICKHEAD.

oh but you did mr tantru, you replied to each and evry PM of mine, not only that you asked for explanations for which i had to PM you.

moreover i am of the opinion that what we have got to talk to each other should not be made public and discussed in threads, why trouble the good echarchans?

now before you disturb any more threads if your ego will be shaant just by me saying sorry then I am sorry sar, please do not disable your PM facility, you may be getting very very imp PMs from US presidents and senators.

[calmncool]

Originally posted by Jaanbaaz

abee mey single hey
shadee hoyega phir bee aisa rahega
pata hai yaar, tere jaise log change hone ke aadi nahi hai..

tu log sala darpok chuua..pigs
arre bhai, tere baju ki stationary dukan ja aur english ki dictionary lekar aa, chuua != pigs

jhoot bee bolte tu log
sala sab man mey sochte ki mai ghar mey top pe rahega
aur idar aake sale dikhane ke liye impression marte ki mey equal rakhega sab kuch
bus kya, tere jaisa samjha hai humko?

[echarcha]

after going through several posts that Jaanbaz is strikingly similar to one other member here ;)

[Big-G]

Originally posted by echarcha
after going through several posts that Jaanbaz is strikingly similar to one other member here ;)

eCharcha Bhai... :) i was waiting for someone to say that.... looks like I ain't the only observant one around here :D

[calmncool]

Originally posted by echarcha
after going through several posts that Jaanbaz is strikingly similar to one other member here ;)

Yeah! the good thing is that at least we are retaining our diversity. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[kameena]

I think women would like Shatrughan Sinha Method (well first one to publish it).

The woman decides on SMALLER issues. While men decide on BIGGER ones.

How do you define small and big issue. What to cook, where to shop, what to do with vacation and generally stuff concerning the house.

Big Issues. What happens to Kashmir. Where is world economy heading. etc etc. How is that? :D

[aryaputra]

Man is Devtaa
Woman is Mukut (crown of Devtaa)


remember Daman?

[Just Me]

Why have a particular leader to make certain / all decision in and around the home. Since it affects both -- the husband and the wife... why not a full proper discussion which leads to a decision...

[Netra]

True there should be a discussion and a decision, but who makes that decision? What if both have different opinions? Don't forget that the one who makes the decision takes the responsibility also.

... then my wife makes her decision on my decisions.

[risingsun]

Originally posted by kameena
I think women would like Shatrughan Sinha Method (well first one to publish it).

The woman decides on SMALLER issues. While men decide on BIGGER ones.

How do you define small and big issue. What to cook, where to shop, what to do with vacation and generally stuff concerning the house.

Big Issues. What happens to Kashmir. Where is world economy heading. etc etc. How is that? :D

for me what to cook is a big decision yarr. how much kanda do i have to slice, then how much oil, how much salt, my roomies and me are from different parts of India, so we have different tastes, however one tries to adjust the taste of all the people can never match.

[sprite]

I think women would like Shatrughan Sinha Method (well first one to publish it).

The woman decides on SMALLER issues. While men decide on BIGGER ones.

How do you define small and big issue. What to cook, where to shop, what to do with vacation and generally stuff concerning the house.

Big Issues. What happens to Kashmir. Where is world economy heading. etc etc. How is that? :D

:rotfl::rotfl:

yaad aa gayi yaar kameene, nandu, langoti aur biggie ki yaar :(

[kkkk]

netra, senorita, kate, pakki dost ki nahi? :P

[zyzzva]

Aunty Zyzzva Rules - with my orders .


I am a pseudo zoru ka gulaam .

[sprite]

netra, senorita, kate, pakki dost ki nahi? :P

nahi :o


.............