PRACTICAL TIPS TO WEIGHT LOSS...

[tantric_yogi]

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I'll keep it simple and practical. Everyone educated and intelligent...no need to go in to lot of details.
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Please consult your doctor before going on any diet.
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Are we Fat?
We ask mom "MAA, HOW DO I LOOK?"
If mom says "Beta tu to bahut haathi ki tarah motta hai" We know she is not our real mother. Time to talk to father abt Kumbhmela where real mother got lost.
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There is only one authentic way to maintain weight:
EAT JUST WHAT YOUR BODY NEEDS.

There is only one way to gain weight:
EAT MORE AND ALL EXTRA IS ACCUMULATED.

There is only way to loose weight:
EAT LESS SO YOUR BODY USES RESERVE ENERGY.
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To loose weight:
Eat Less...................... then you won't be reading this
Exercise.......................you won't be reading thi either
Healthy food habits......telling Indian to eat healthy?
Indian Ayurvedic...........NO! some very toxic.
Tablets/Capsules..........THEY WORK BUT...
CHEAT THE BODY..........CAN WORK MAGICK.
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1. EXERCISE....Walking good for system. Running I don't think so. If God wanted you to run then he would have made you a horse, given you four legs and a huge penis to match. Since you two legs and penis size of peanut, NO.
If you start exercise make sure you continue. You stop and gain twice the amount you lost.
Some people exercise, their appetite gets better, they eat more and instead of losing they gain. VICIOUS. Exercise is good for you. But to loose weight better join army. You have to exercise several hours a day just to loose 1 kilo. Half of that 1 kilo will be water, which your body will replace in an hour.

2. EAT LESS...yeh sure!

3, HEALTHY FOOD HABITS...Paratha dripping with amul ?

4. CAPSULES:...XENICOL..works like julab for fat or oil.
You take one after every meal and in an hour or two you pass out all the fat/oil. BECAUSE IT IS OIL and very slippery, IT LEAKS OUT OF YOUR AURANGIA JUST LIKE MAA BEHEN GALIS FROM SENORITA'S MOUTH. Unless you are sitting close to loo, WEAR DIAPERS. If you go out make sure to wear underwear/chaddi/drawers or else you will dirty your pants. You can eat as much fat and 70/80% is automatically leaked out. Do not freak out at color of fat/oil coming out of your Aurangia, dark orange.
You loose weight. but Not advisable.

5. CHEATING YOUR BODY...Now this can work and you'll loose weight, there are many many ways to suit your life style. I will mention few:

a. SIX PM diet: IF you sleep normaly at 10/11 pm then EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT EXCEPT NO INTAKE OF FOOD AFTER 6PM. SIMPLE . You'll loose weight.

b. ONE AT A TIME diet: Stop mixing groups. One group each meal. You know all about four groups of food. Milk, Meat, Fruits/Veg and Cereals. Eat one group at a single meal. Any group but one group. You will loose weight.

c. AURANGIA diet:...

d.

e.

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If appreciated will continue.......

[Randheer]

Senorita...,
jab khud ki Jhant Jalti jai to kaisa lagta hai.
You don't stop claiming that you are from IIT Kanpur,
No you haven't learnt the spirit,You can't laugh on Your self.
You can't take other's joke on you.
Its Shame Senorita...
Really Shame....

[Senorita]

Originally posted by Randheer
Senorita...,
jab khud ki Jhant Jalti jai to kaisa lagta hai.
You don't stop claiming that you are from IIT Kanpur,
No you haven't learnt the spirit,You can't laugh on Your self.
You can't take other's joke on you.
Its Shame Senorita...
Really Shame....

its abt deletion of posts paleolithic moron :D and not abt being sporting...jh**t kiski jali? jisne
post delete kiye-

[Randheer]

Originally posted by Senorita


its abt deletion of posts paleolithic moron :D and not abt being sporting...jh**t kiski jali? jisne
post delete kiye-

Senorita,many times you are not serious with what you are saying,you appear to be of frivolous mind.
Accepted gandesh Bhai etc use abusive language but they are serious abt what they are doing.
Which you are not,
Thats may be reason

[tantric_yogi]

Senorita
r u mad at reference to ma-behen gali part?
APOLOGIES...
just a joke...
am editing out...
but I stand by this diet post...

[Big-G]

Gurudev...I agree with most of what you have to say... aap ki aagya sey, would like add in my two cents worth....


There is only one authentic way to maintain weight:
EAT JUST WHAT YOUR BODY NEEDS.

How would you know how much your body needs?? One thumb rule is to multiply your body weight (in pounds) by 13.5, to get your daily calorie need. Try to keep your intake below this. If this seems like too much maths, then get off the dining table while you are still feeling hungry. (For grossly overweight beasts like Senorita, the 13.5-rule might give astronomical figures and should be disregarded)


There is only one way to gain weight:
EAT MORE AND ALL EXTRA IS ACCUMULATED.
[/qoute]
Not really. It is essentially your bodies rate of metabolism. You can see people eating like horses yet looking like reeds. And there are people who gain weight even if they just drink water. Causes can be many..hereditary, liver problems etc. (In some cases like Senorita's, it is a curse. They are fat.Period)

[quote]
There is only way to loose weight:
EAT LESS SO YOUR BODY USES RESERVE ENERGY.

More than eating less, the motto should be to eat PROPER. A small peice of chocolate cake does more damage than a bowl of unbuttered popped corn. Try to include lotsa proteins in your diet. Your body consumes lots of calories just trying to digest the proteins. In some cases, like celery, the energy used to burn the food is more than the energy produced, resulting in negative calorie gain. Drink lots of water, and include a good amount of fiber in your diet.


1. EXERCISE....Walking good for system. Running I don't think so. If God wanted you to run then he would have made you a horse, given you four legs and a huge penis to match. Since you two legs and penis size of peanut, NO.

and penis size of peanut ...and this coming from a PANDRAH-INCHEE ???? :D :D

The simple rule is, the sum total of the calories burnt by your body should be equal or lesser than what is consumed. You can do this either by decreasing the amount of calories consumed, or increasing the burn rate. Excercise according to your body's capacity. Run, jog, walk, skip, swim, use the stairs more often, sex (burns a lot of calories if done properly)....

For me, a 30 minute run, 100 laps of the pool, gym, and weekend soccer works fine enough. I can eat anything and everything without a bit of it showing.

Lastly, I had read somewhere that if you are in a real hurry to lose weight, then consume large quantities of rancid tuna and stale meat. The resulting dysentry, causes 15 to 20 pounds of wieght loss within days.

[Big-G]

Senorita
r u mad at reference to ma-behen gali part?
APOLOGIES...
just a joke...
am editing out...
but I stand by this diet post...

Gurudev...kyon is bh0sdi waali, badsurat, hathni ki aulad ko sorry bol rahey ho???.... she never gets offended ! Let her rot in her misery... :D :D

[Rahul]

Bhai Tantu,

Informative.

IT LEAKS OUT OF YOUR AURANGIA JUST LIKE MAA BEHEN GALIS FROM SENORITA'S MOUTH

:D:D:D

[nandini]

BIG G ko kaise maloom ki seno badsoorat hai ki khoobsurat

matlab yeh ki hum sab theek samjhe the BIG G ka case seno ke saath khatte angoor ka hai... right seno?

angoor samjhe big g bhaiyya woh jo aap ke BALLS ke size ke hare hare hote hain

[Big-G]

Nandu....hushhh...shhhhhhhhh !!!

*feeds nandu a fresh biscuit, changes the water in her bowl, gently locks her back in the cage*

[Rahul]

Hi Nandini


BIG G ko kaise maloom ki seno badsoorat hai ki khoobsurat

matlab yeh ki hum sab theek samjhe the BIG G ka case seno ke saath khatte angoor ka hai... right seno?

angoor samjhe big g bhaiyya woh jo aap ke BALLS ke size ke hare hare hote hain

Big G ko waise he pata he ki SenyoRita badsurat he jaise ki aapko unka balls ka size pata he :D:D

[Big-G]

shhhh Rahul...kya karta hai yaar...sab key saamney secret open kar diya.. :D :D :D

[smellyfinger]

Big-G and Senorita,

Please stop this stupid abusing and personal bashing. If you have to do it, use PM or exchange phone numbers and do it over the phone. Why do the rest of us have to read this crap ?? Please show some consideration to other members of this site.

:mad:

[gandesh]

Originally posted by tantric_yogi

1. EXERCISE....Walking good for system. Running I don't think so. If God wanted you to run then he would have made you a horse, given you four legs and a huge penis to match. Since you two legs and penis size of peanut, NO.
If you start exercise make sure you continue. You stop and gain twice the amount you lost.
Some people exercise, their appetite gets better, they eat more and instead of losing they gain. VICIOUS. Exercise is good for you. But to loose weight better join army. You have to exercise several hours a day just to loose 1 kilo. Half of that 1 kilo will be water, which your body will replace in an hour.


chal chal ke pagal ho gaya hoon.... this does not work... ur doctor is lying :D


2. EAT LESS...yeh sure!


in my biradiri if u eat less people think u come from a family of paupers.... :D


3, HEALTHY FOOD HABITS...Paratha dripping with amul ?


ooooooohhhhhhhh.... now u are talking :)

*gandesh is imagining an aloo - ka - parantha with amul butter n dahi n aam ka aachar* .... can't even think about anything else right now... will post more comments later.... :D :D :D :D :D

[Rahul]

Senyo Maata/behan

aapke itne galliyan bakne ke baad to mujhe yakin hi nahi ho raha tha ki aap is duniya me ek aurat ka sharir dhar ke pragat hue hogi, lekin aapne apni badsurti per bhadak kar proof kar diya ki maate aap kahi na kahi se abhi bhi female ho.

Bus ek aur doubt clear do, yeh itni fundu gaaliyan konsi chal se seekhi ?? aur aapne IIT konse chal ke institute se kiya tha (waise us chal ke institute ne IIT ke degree to wapas na le lee, aapne IIT karna choda hua he aajkal)

[Xandu]

Originally posted by Senorita


its abt deletion of posts paleolithic moron :D and not abt being sporting...jh**t kiski jali? jisne
post delete kiye-


oh no not at alll

i keep deleting random posts from you without even seeing what's in them (they all same anyways.. hee maa behan bla bla) :D

jus for fun.. when i'm a li'l bored :D

[laal_langot]

Whatever you say and whyever you do it Xandu....you certainly pulled off a coup...what an outpour....waise smelly bhaiya at this rate BG and Shanno ko hotlines lagwaa ke deni padeingi sponsored by rest of charcha...

[Xandu]

I actually delete the ones where she goes on to senseless abuse.

if she loses an arguement (which she always) she does not hesitate to perform a RD parade of her household vocab.

and really, I dont really actively police her posts but when I have a few free mins out of usual work, jus glance around.. find one of her rather flattering posts and X it ;)

[Big-G]

:D :D :D

Xandu, be ready for a long sentimental monologue by the "special kid of the board" Nandini, about how the MALE moderators discriminate against female posters, and how the women are having a tough time and all.... she is kinda touchy about all this.

[Xandu]

Big-G

yeah....

i'd be intrested in that...

wanna see how she convinces me I'm not female and that Senorita character is not male. hmmmm.... :cool:

[laal_langot]

Ghor kalyug.... narayan narayan....aisa role reversal????Operation kabb karwaaya Xandu bhai ya yeh ZANDU chavanpraash ka asar hai???

[Xandu]

laal,

jus fooling around. what i mean is that Nandini can never win on that point Big-G says she will get senti with

X

[Big-G]

:D :D
Red-underwear bhaiyya...aap to bina wajah hi khush ho gaye.... :D :D

[tantric_yogi]

Originally posted by gandesh
*gandesh is imagining an aloo - ka - parantha with amul butter n dahi n aam ka aachar* .... can't even think about anything else right now... will post more comments later.... :D :D
followed by XENICOL and dark orange leakage of Aurangia....

[tantric_yogi]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Big-G
>>How would you know how much your body needs?<<

I agree with all you wrote 100%. I left out all details cause I thought EVERYONE HERE IS INTELLIGENT and will know this basic stuff. YOU SEEM TO DISAGREE;)!

>>One thumb rule is to multiply your body weight (in pounds) by 13.5, to get your daily calorie need. Try to keep your intake below this. If this seems like too much maths, <<

As you said it, do not fill up. But bhaya how many of us could resist that extra Paratha with dripping ghee!
It's much easier to maintain your ideal body weight in 20's and 30's but it's after 40's that it starts to accumulate. Weight gain we see after 40 is 7 to 10 kilos avg every ten years.

>>More than eating less, the motto should be to eat PROPER. A small peice of chocolate cake does more damage than a bowl of unbuttered popped corn.<<

Again so very true. But how many of us can and do know to limit. Carrots/celery yes is negative food becuase your body uses more energy to digest it then is produced. Unlike ready to digest stuff like sugar and sweets that require no effort to burn but provide heaps of useless empty calories.

>>and penis size of peanut ...and this coming from a PANDRAH-INCHEE ???? :D :D<<

RAJA, I was referring to YOU! I have to be realistic. Not everyone is gifted, I must accept that.

>>The simple rule is, the sum total of the calories burnt by your body should be equal or lesser than what is consumed. You can do this either by decreasing the amount of calories consumed, or increasing the burn rate. Exercise according to your body's capacity. Run, jog, walk, skip, swim, use the stairs more often, sex (burns a lot of calories if done properly)...<<.

Again so true, so very true. If someone could follow such reason then we'll not be discussing weight gain issue.

>>For me, a 30 minute run, 100 laps of the pool, gym, and weekend soccer works fine enough. I can eat anything and everything without a bit of it showing.<<

Yes. Wait till you have small children. You would rather play with children then go out running on your own. Or other million reasons.

>>Lastly, I had read somewhere that if you are in a real hurry to lose weight, then consume large quantities of rancid tuna and stale meat. The resulting dysentry, causes 15 to 20 pounds of wieght loss within days.<<

No use. Hum Indian log ke pet main sala bachpan se itne keede pare hue hain ki idar kuch bi khao
dysentery ko goli maro yaar; apun ko sala tattii tak nahin aati.

Better still sit and listen to Senorita galis and one will lose as much if not more. She must start her own weight lose clinic. I am sure she can handle groups of ten or more.
Biggjee I muist insist. When you are taught to honor and worship women, yeh ledies log giving galis do excite me. Everytime I hear her galis my keyboard raises up in the air...:):):)

[Big-G]

>>and penis size of peanut ...and this coming from a PANDRAH-INCHEE ???? <<

RAJA, I was referring to YOU! I have to be realistic. Not everyone is gifted, I must accept that

:D :D GUrudev..... aap guru ho isili, chotey mooh badi baat nahin karna chahta, magar sachi boloon to aapkey shishya ko kuchh circles mein "Pole Vault" key naame sey pukaaraa jaata hai...... baaki aap khud gyaani ho !!!

Yes. Wait till you have small children. You would rather play with children then go out running on your own. Or other million reasons.
Sach kahtey ho...tabhi to saalaa shaadi key naam sey hi G mein cracks aa jaatey hain.

Everytime I hear her galis my keyboard raises up in the air...
Gurudev, Laptop use kartey ho na?? :)

[tantric_yogi]

Originally posted by Big-G
>>kuchh circles mein "Pole Vault" key naame sey pukaaraa jaata hai<<

Last time disney world main apun tota ko three inch ke pole ke upar vault karte dekha. Hum aap ka dost hai apne dil main rakhega lekin aur kisi se yeh nahin bolne ka. Koi chokri dana nahin dalegi tote ko.

Bahut log hum se jealous hai. Last time bi apun ko nazar lag gaya. Pandit ki biwi se jaar utara.

Hamara nukkar ke dhudhwala ki biwi Manglabhai hamesha apun ko tabele main ghora and gadha ke beech bithakr boli thi ki usne aaj tak life main aisa shandaar hathiyar nahin dekha.

>>Sach kahtey ho...tabhi to saalaa shaadi key naam sey hi G mein cracks aa jaatey hain.<<
Shadi kar lo jaldi se Bade Bhai. G mein crack aa gaye aur kabhi Lode main crack ho gaye to idar se bhi gaye aur udar se bhi... :D